I know I speak a lot to women on this blog; well, men, it’s time for us to have a real talk.
Now, I am not here to nag you or tell you to do the dishes, in case that’s what you are thinking.
I’m actually here to tell you what the girlies probably wouldn’t: the conversations your wife is probably having with her best friend while you’re busy in the garage.
Being married is great, but because it’s between two imperfect people, it can be a lot.
Your wife loves you, clearly.
But there are things about living with you that drive her up the wall; things she keeps bottled up because she doesn’t want to start a fight or hurt your feelings.
Those things could be little habits, weird quirks, and the stuff you don’t even realize you’re doing.
If you want to stop making her unhappy, you’ve got to see yourself through her eyes for a minute.
This article will help you do that.
That said, let’s take a look at things your wife is noticing but might not be telling you.
What Your Wife Won’t Tell You About How Hard You Are To Live With
1. You leave a trail behind you when you come home
I understand that you’ve probably had a long day, and you probably just want to relieve yourself of everything that reminds you of the outside world and relax.
I get it, and she probably does too.
But she also doesn’t want you walking through the door and leaving a trail of your shoes, your keys, and your jacket in the living room.
And don’t get me started on the socks left by the sofa.
Again, I understand you’re tired, but your wife knows you can afford to just put everything where it is meant to be rather than scattered around the house.
However, she doesn’t always say something because she doesn’t want to feel like she’s parenting a toddler.
To you, it’s just putting things down, but you are adding more activities to her to-do list because she can’t just ignore them.
The reason you come home to an organized and clean house is that she picks those things up after you.
But she would rather she didn’t have to follow you around the house, much less get into an argument with you about them, even though it irks her soul.
2. You practice selective hearing
Oh, if I had a nickel for every time a woman complained about this.
Now, I generally don’t like to be stereotypical, but I can’t deny that this is a thing for the average man: selective hearing – hearing only what you want to hear.
Let me give an example.
So, she’s telling you about her day or something the kids did, and you’re nodding along.
But we both know you’re thinking about the noise your car is making or the game on Sunday.
And believe it or not, she knows too; she can see when you’ve checked out.
Even though she doesn’t always voice it out, she sees that glazed look in your eyes, but she keeps talking anyway because she just wants to feel heard.
Also, even though it hurts a little bit, she may also not call you on it every time because she understands that you may be tired.
But man, if you could just try to tune in for ten minutes, you’d make her a very happy woman.
3. Your bathroom habits are well… not tidy
I saw this video from this very funny couple on IG, where their premise is the husband impersonating the wife.
So, in this particular video, they showed how men just suddenly remember they need to shave immediately after their wife is done washing the bathroom.
Apart from the video itself, the eye-opener was the comments; a lot of women could relate to men messing up the bathroom.
Now, we admit that it is sometimes unknowingly, but you need to understand that the bathroom is a shared space – except it isn’t in your case – so treating it like your personal locker room is frustrating.
Women want a clean toilet, and I’m sure you enjoy that too.
So, you shouldn’t be leaving beard trimmings in the sink that look like a family of spiders died there, or leaving your towel soaking wet and crumpled on the floor.
Remember that she wouldn’t be able to ignore it; she will always clean it up, and quietly too.
But that doesn’t change that it can be frustrating and annoying.
If you’re not offering the clean, at least maintain the cleanliness you find when you get there.
4. You’re not as helpful as you think
I know if I round up a thousand men, most of them would say they help a lot around the house.
And for those who don’t, they may argue that they are the sole provider, so they don’t need to chip in domestically as well.
Well, maybe you do!
But if you are in the first category, helping is different from taking it as your responsibility because it’s your house, too, and the kids are yours, too.
Women don’t want to have to tell you exactly how to help – except she is a micromanager.
But for the average woman, if she has to give you a step-by-step manual on how to load the dishwasher correctly, it’s almost easier for her to just do it herself.
She wishes you’d just see the full trash can and take it out without a formal invitation.
Now, you could say she should just say it, but she knows you think you’re helping and doesn’t want to sound ungrateful.
So, you must realize that managing your help is a job in itself; instead of wanting to be prompted, take responsibility.
And for the second category, I don’t want to speak much on it because it’s case by case, but you must remember that domestic work is hard work, too.
5. You’re kind of a project
A lot of women are naturally nurturing, so it comes with the territory that a woman nurtures her husband, just the same way she does anyone she loves.
So, the fact that she loves you is not in question.
However, she also doesn’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about your health, your clothes, and your schedule.
You are her partner, not her child, so you should be making life somewhat easier, not adding to her stress.
She already has to plan the kids’ lives; why does she have to plan yours?
Have you asked yourself how your doctor’s appointments just seem to happen?
Or how your favorite jeans are always clean?
That’s because she is making all those happen in the background.
But believe me when I say the mental energy it takes to manage your life, along with hers, is a lot.
So, if you can try to remember those little things, that would be really helpful in relieving her.
And I know you could say she can just leave it, but she wants you to be okay.
That means the only way to really get her to relax is to handle it yourself
6. You Forget the Little Things
Men are often great at the big stuff: providing, fixing the roof, being there when it counts.
But when it comes to the small stuff that matters to their wife’s daily happiness, they often fall short of that.
I know it can be a lot because life is already stressful, but you can try to remember the little things, like how she likes her coffee, her favourite drink, or noticing when she gets her hair done.
She wants you to notice these things because it tells her you care about her.
And she might struggle to bring it up because it feels needy to ask for a compliment, but you not noticing also makes her feel a little bit invisible.