“When you’re choosing someone to date as a woman, what are the qualities that top the chart for you?”
I asked this question on my social media, and as you’d expect, I got different answers.
Many stated they wanted a man who had money and could foot their bills, and some mentioned a man who would give them a sense of security.
I have no beef with the aforementioned women because I understand how it can be in our society, and I expected it.
However, they are not the crux of this post.
I’m here to speak about others who mentioned loyalty, kindness and respect.
I’m particularly interested in the respect part because I believe it’s one of those underrated qualities that is all-encompassing.
Here’s what I believe: if a man loves you, he’ll respect you, and if he respects you, he will be kind and loyal to you.
So, you see why I’m emphasizing it?
Plus, we live in a society where there’s this erroneous rhetoric that men are the ones to be respected.
I believe it’s balderdash, and you must agree with me, or you won’t be here.
I say that to say, you’re likely reading this because you want a good man who respects you, and you want to learn how to recognize him when you find him.
Well, without hooting my horn too much, you’re in the right place.
And without further ado, let’s walk through the signs together.
6 Signs You Are Dating a Good Guy Who Respects You
1. He’s Honest and Transparent
Let’s just go right into it, shall we?
When a man is comfortable lying to you, chances are he doesn’t respect you, and he’s definitely not a good man.
A good man is both transparent and honest.
He is not the man who would lie to you or play games with you.
He’s the kind of man whose words you can hold on to.
That means his yes is yes, and so is his no.
If he says something, you can hold on to it as the truth.
But besides telling you the truth, he also doesn’t withhold necessary information from you.
You know some people are good at giving honest answers, but they struggle with transparency.
They don’t lie when confronted directly, but they err with omission.
A good man doesn’t have this problem.
He comes clean about his feelings, plans, and intentions.
So, you never have to second-guess his intentions or whereabouts.
You know when he’s at work, with his family, hanging out with the boys and all that.
Plus, if there’s a problem, he will communicate it instead of letting it fester, and he won’t keep you in the dark about important aspects of his life.
When you have a guy like this, you can tell that he trusts you and respects your ability to handle the truth.
2. He Values Your Opinions (Even When He Disagrees)
I had this problem when I was younger, which led to my breakup with my favourite ex.
I felt like, because he said he loved me, he should always agree with me.
And when he didn’t, I felt like he didn’t love me anymore.
I hated when we argued – even over the most random thing – because it made me question his love for me.
I was insane, I know.
Even though I was young, I feel like there’s no excuse, but I mean, lesson learnt.
So, anyway, what I’m trying to say is you will not agree on things just because you’re a couple.
In fact, you may have different perspectives on many things, and it’s fine, as long as you agree on the vital things.
Even Siamese twins differ in many ways; how much more two people who probably didn’t know each other until adulthood?
However, a guy’s respect for you will show even if he disagrees with you.
He will never belittle your opinions or dismiss them.
Even when what you’re saying does not make any sense to him, he’ll listen, consider your perspective, and engage in healthy discussions without making you feel inferior.
He knows that differing opinions don’t mean either of you is right or wrong; you may just be seeing it from different perspectives.
And rather than trying to win arguments, he focuses more on trying to understand where you’re coming from.
3. He Puts Effort into the Relationship
The truth is that no relationship can work without committed effort.
And when something matters to us, we commit to it.
So, a good man will treat his relationship with you with the utmost regard.
He will show up for you at all times, not only when it is convenient for him or whenever he needs something from you.
A good and respectful man will always come through whenever you need him.
Now, I’m not saying he will be there 24/7; he has to go to work and do other important things.
Or that he will always have a solution to your problems.
No, what I’m saying is that he will put consistent effort into making sure you know he is your man.
That means he will call, text, plan dates, and show up when you need him, even if it’s just to hold your hands or hug you.
Even when it is not exactly convenient for him, you’ll see him try his best to see that you are happy.
He will always be there, nurturing the relationship.
4. He’s Accountable for His Actions
We are humans, so we will make mistakes because we’re naturally not wired to be perfect.
So making mistakes is not the problem; it’s the way you handle your mistakes afterwards.
One outstanding thing about a respectful man is that he always takes responsibility.
He wouldn’t wait to be told before he takes responsibility for his actions.
Before you even discover his errors, he will bring them to light, take responsibility for them, apologize, and begin to work towards becoming better.
He’s not the kind of man who blames you for his errors, and he won’t shy away from admitting when he’s wrong.
And that’s because he respects you and values your relationship.
5. He Stands by You During Tough Times
It’s easy to be around someone when everything is going smoothly, but you know the people who are for you by how they act during challenging times.
You may be shocked that this is a thing, but many times, some women have ended up with partners who ghosted them when they needed them the most.
Yes, some men have been known to abandon their women in their sickbed.
So, having a man who will stand by you through it all means you’ve struck gold.
Again, this doesn’t mean he will always have the solution to your problems; he is not God.
But he will be there.
He’ll be there, supporting you and helping you through whatever challenges you’re facing until you can come out of it stronger.
He is the kind of man to say “we”, rather than “she”, when you have an issue.
6. He Respects Your Independence
You may love your person, but nobody wants to be joined at the hip 24/7 with another.
Even twins who shared a womb crave their independence.
So, a good man would recognize that, and he will give you your required space and privacy.
And more importantly, he will respect your boundaries.
Let’s pick them one after the other.
A healthy relationship demands that partners maintain some level of independence.
You need a little space from each other to breathe, to hear yourself, and do your own thing.
So, a good man wouldn’t make you feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends, pursue hobbies, or have alone time.
Instead, he’ll encourage you to maintain your individuality and independence because he knows it’s an important ingredient in a balanced relationship.
Then, he will also treat you like the adult that you are and not try to make decisions for you.
He will not determine your friends, decide how you’ll dress, and he won’t tell you how to live your life.
Now, he may have an input and communicate it or even a grievance, but it won’t be from a place of control.
Rather, it will also require the same respect he accords you.
Dating someone who respects you is one of the best things you can do for yourself as a woman.
And this is because, like I earlier mentioned, there are several men out there who do not see the need to respect their women.
No woman deserves to fall into the hands of the aforementioned men.
So, knowing the signs to look out for is very important.
Hopefully, based on this post, you know what to look out for.