Although some people may not consider this the best example, when I heard Tia Mowry was divorcing her husband, I was shocked.
Because they seemed like the perfect couple, they were lucky to have found their love at a very young age.
I know some people say they saw the signs, but I honestly didn’t, especially not after 14 years of marriage.
However, apart from Hollywood stories like these, some of us have witnessed this happen close to home, perhaps even within our own families.
Like me, you may be wondering, “Why divorce when you’ve already spent this number of years together?”
Unfortunately, it’s not always as simple as that; sometimes, there are different shades of grey that make wives consider divorcing their husbands at a particular age.
Let’s dissect it, shall we?
8 Reasons So Many Wives Want To Leave Their Husbands Once They Hit A Certain Age
1. Unmet needs and expectations
No marriage was started with the idea that it would be unconditional.
We all got married because we expect that certain needs should be met, spoken or unspoken.
But whether they were spoken or not is inconsequential; what matters is that people expect certain things when they get married.
And those needs being met to determine whether some marriages will last or not.
So, if over the years, some women realize that their emotional, physical, or even financial needs are consistently left hanging, they might become dissatisfied with the union.
At first, they may tell themselves that it’s fine and things will get better.
They may want to give their spouse and the marriage a chance before making any drastic decisions.
Or they may even feel like they can ignore that need or expectation.
But when the years pass and the gap remains, it becomes clear to them that what they expect to ignore is hard to ignore.
Therefore, by a certain age, the tolerance level for living in a one-sided relationship reduces.
This especially happens when they consider that life is short and they have a few years before them.
So, they might not want to live those years in the same cycle.
And for that reason, some might leave that marriage with the hope of finding fulfillment being single or in a new relationship.
2. Mid-life crises
As much as we want to wish it isn’t a thing, mid-life crises are a thing, and it has a funny way of making you question everything.
It often hits you with the awareness of your mortality and the years you’ve spent living less than you should.
Some women hit that stage and come to the realization that the life they are living now isn’t the one they pictured.
They might suddenly crave adventure, self-discovery, or just want a complete break from the usual routine.
That’s what probably happened in the movie, When Stella Got Her Groove Back, lol
I’m kidding … not everybody wants to fly to the Caribbean for a fling.
But the point is that at this point, the marriage might begin to feel stagnant for some women, and the urge to break free can push them to leave their husbands.
3. Resentment
I read the story of a woman on Quora who said the signs her marriage wasn’t working started a month into the marriage, but she didn’t leave until after they were close to their 30th anniversary.
In fact, they already had their first grandchild before she filed for divorce.
We see this happen too many times: women whose marriages were off right from the start, but they hold on because of the stigma of divorce.
Some live in communities where being divorced is a shameful thing.
So they do all they can to hold it together.
Some people successfully hold it together – maybe by focusing all their energy on their children.
For others, they might find that they cannot handle the resentment that has piled up over the years.
By a certain age, the resentment from so many unresolved issues might become too heavy to carry.
At that point, they may no longer care about the shame because the need for peace outweighs the fear of judgment.
4. Age brings some clarity
The truth is that the older you get, the more clarity you have about the kind of life you want to live.
So, the things that used to matter, like keeping up appearances, might no longer matter in the face of living authentically.
They might no longer care what people say and just want to be happy.
Like I said earlier, they might see that they have fewer years ahead and they don’t want to do that, living for other people.
When you are in your 20s, you might be easily influenced to make decisions that would make others comfortable.
But in your 50s, that might no longer matter.
So, some women have better clarity of what they want in their lives, and when they see their marriage is not serving that, they might be more inclined to leave.
5. They feel freer because their children are older
There’s something I often tell my friends: I say, “The length of a marriage is not a measure of the success of a marriage.”
Some marriages that are less than 5 years are happier marriages than some marriages that have lasted 30 years.
And I have come to realize one of the biggest reasons most of these women stay is their children.
They put up with a lot just to give them a “stable” home.
I put stable in quotes because the truth is that an unhappy home is far from stable for the children.
But if there’s one thing we are good at as a society, it is keeping up appearances.
So, many believe that a semblance of normalcy is better for the kids.
And that might hold the marriage together for a while.
But once those kids are grown or more independent, the reason to stay weakens.
Without the need to protect young children from the fallout, the option of leaving starts looking more like liberation.
And many take that option.
6. The children leaving the house breaks the illusion
Like I said earlier, some women stay for their kids.
Some others might not even know there’s anything wrong with their marriage because their children give them an illusion that their marriage is fine.
They have a shared purpose, a daily routine, and constant distractions going on for them.
But when the kids leave home as they grow, they are forced to face each other.
And sometimes, they might not like who they are seeing.
They will then realize for the first time that they didn’t have a partner; they had a co-parent.
And while some might use it as an opportunity to find each other again, some might struggle because of their dynamics.
Some women might leave their husbands in this case because there’s nothing going for them anymore.
7. They married too early
This is why I, personally, don’t encourage early marriages.
I believe people should at least be in their mid-20s before marriage.
Of course, I know this is not a one-size-fits-all rule, but I’ve seen too many people get married before discovering themselves regret it.
For example, the woman I spoke about earlier, who divorced after 30 years, got married at 18.
At that stage, you likely haven’t lived enough to know who you are and what you want out of life.
For women like this, they may start to feel the weight of the life they didn’t get to live years later.
Once they reach a certain age, the urge to reclaim that missed freedom can make them see valid reasons to divorce, especially if they don’t feel they’re getting that in their marriage.
8. Desire for growth and fulfilment
When you’re young, life can be about just getting by, but when you start growing older, you might start seeking more meaning out of life.
At a particular age, women, especially, may feel like they’ve spent years living for others.
So, now, they want to chase personal dreams, new careers, or passions that have nothing to do with their spouse.
And if they don’t feel like their husband is supporting them in getting that, they may choose to walk away.
For this kind of woman, marriage feels like a cage that is keeping them from flying, so they will get out of it.