Have you ever met a couple that looks like they have it together?
A couple who complete each other’s sentences, still look into each other’s eyes when they speak, and look like they genuinely enjoy the time they spend with each other.
Sometimes, you find this in a new couple, and sometimes, even in senior citizens.
And you wonder what’s wrong with you?
Why does it seem like these people have found a great relationship, and you haven’t?
What are they doing differently that you aren’t?
Now, let me start by saying that life isn’t always black and white.
Sometimes, it is not because some people are doing something special that they have a positive result.
Life has many shades that don’t always make sense.
But really, most times, people reap what they sow.
That means the effort they put into something is what they reap from it.
I say that to say, many of the healthy couples you see out there did not get there just because; they did because they watered their grass with certain habits I will be sharing in this post.
Without wasting more time, let’s look at them.
8 Things Healthy Couples Do Differently
1. Speak Each Other’s Love Language
It is one thing to love someone and another to love them the way you ought to love them.
My first relationship broke up due to this issue.
You see, I am a gift giver; I love giving and receiving gifts.
And because it makes me happy, I figured my partner would love it as well.
So, I bombarded him with gifts.
If I saw something that made me think of him, I got it.
But he kept complaining that he didn’t feel like I loved him.
As you would expect, I was confused; what do you mean, I don’t love you?
I spend so much money on you in an age where the woman is expected to sit pretty and be taken care of.
But one day, he told me, he actually didn’t like gifts much, except that it was something he mentioned he wanted, and his partner bought for him.
Otherwise, he doesn’t like random gifts because he may not need what was given.
That further frustrated me because that was the only way I knew to communicate how I felt towards him.
Needless to say, we couldn’t agree and broke up.
Thank God, I have since heard about the five love languages and grown.
The truth is, people indeed speak different love languages, and healthy couples have mastered them.
They don’t just love their partners, they love them right.
That means, unlike what I did, they take time to learn what makes their partner feel valued, whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts, or touch.
They don’t argue with their lover even if it’s not what they think is romantic.
Instead, they accept and give their partner what the other person needs.
Whatever way the other person wants to feel affection, they make sure they supply it.
2. Respect Each Other
Another thing healthy couples do well is respect each other.
The men in this kind of relationship are not men who believe their partner doesn’t deserve respect because they are woman.
They are not expecting subservience from the woman while they offer nothing.
No, both of them are polite to each other, and they honor their partner’s opinions, choices, boundaries, and individuality.
Healthy couples don’t belittle, dismiss, or compete with each other.
Rather, they listen, validate, and uplift the other person.
Plus, even in disagreements, they keep it respectful.
This is because they understand that respect is a quality in love; you can’t say you love your partner when you don’t respect them.
So, they show love and they respect each other.
3. Make Time for Each Other
I used to believe the “very busy” excuse and didn’t agree with those who said you can always make time for what’s important.
Until I fell in love and realised that indeed, you can.
Let me give an example.
I spend most of my night watching a movie; it’s what I do before I sleep, and nothing could pull me from it.
I called it my “me-time” when I relaxed and recharged for the next day.
When I met guys, I told them I couldn’t spare those hours chatting because I had things to do.
Of course, I knew it would sound superficial, so I didn’t share what I would be doing; I just communicated that I would be busy.
But guess who fell in love and suddenly had time? Me, that’s who.
The truth is that I didn’t even remember it used to be an issue; I just wanted to talk to him, and so, my evenings were available for that.
I think you get the point already; no matter how busy life gets, if you want to make time, you will.
And healthy couples get this, so they prioritize us-time.
Now, understand that although you love someone, a time comes when the love has to move from emotional, which was what drove me in the above example, to steady love, where you make active decisions.
That means, you won’t always feel giddy or butterflies in your tummy, but healthy couples still find time for date nights, morning walks, or even just putting the phones away to talk at dinner.
They are intentional about their relationship and don’t let anything push their connection to the back burner.
4. Do the Little Things
Grand gestures are great and should be occasionally introduced in a relationship.
However, it’s the small stuff that keeps the spark alive, and healthy couples know that.
They don’t wait until they can fly their partner to Mykonos for their birthday; they show up in all the little ways that matter now.
They send that quick “I miss you” text, make their partner’s coffee just the way they like it, and remember something they mentioned in passing.
They buy them their favorite candy, say “I love you” regularly, and make each other’s lives easier the best way they can.
Like I said, big gestures are nice, but it’s the consistent, thoughtful little things that build lasting love.
5. Support Each Other
They don’t compete with each other; instead, they cheer each other on.
Healthy couples show up for one another in all the ways they can.
They are there cheering when their partner has a job interview, a presentation at work or when pursuing a fitness goal or a personal dream.
They also make sure the other doesn’t give up by reminding them of their worth when self-doubt creeps in.
When you’re in such a relationship, it’ll feel like you have your own personal hypeman.
So, it’s no wonder that their bond is tight.
6. Talk About Everything
No topic is off-limits with healthy couples.
They talk about everything – uncomfortable conversations and casual gists.
One day, they are dealing with the heavy discussions and the next, they are sharing the latest tea.
Basically, I am saying that they are friends who have given each other a safe space to talk.
So, they don’t let issues lie unresolved and lead to resentment, and they also know the tiniest detail about each other.
That’s why it’s difficult for things to spring up on them unannounced; they’ve discussed it all.
7. Give Each Other Space
Contrary to what movies show, healthy couples don’t spend every waking moment together.
Yes, they talk about everything and spend plenty of time together, but they also allow for me-time.
They understand that personal space is important for each person to grow, recharge, and bring fresh energy back into the relationship.
And ironically, giving each other space brings them even closer when they come together again.
8. Joke and Laugh Together
Life is already difficult, so they don’t take life or each other too seriously.
Healthy couples find reasons to laugh, even in the chaos.
They have inside jokes, silly dances in the kitchen, and tease each other playfully.
They are not afraid to banter, laugh at, and with each other.
They employ humor to lighten the load, so the stress of life doesn’t creep into their time together.