Due to societal overglorification of marriage, especially when it relates to women, a lot of women have felt like they need to sacrifice everything to make it happen.
Right from when a girl is little, marriage being the end goal is sold to her – sometimes subtly – and before she knows it, she joins the rat race of wanting to be picked among the multitude of women.
Now, don’t get me wrong; marriage is beautiful, and you should definitely get married if you want to.
I am married myself, so I’m not demonizing marriage, nor do I intend to make it look like sacrificing for your marriage is wrong.
Love itself is sacrificial, so whether you are married or not, if you’ve ever loved someone, you will have to make sacrifices.
However, there are some harmful sacrifices that some women have had to make because they felt they needed to do that to get married or to keep their marriage.
And the reason stems from the overglorification of marriage for women in contrast to men.
So, it makes it an unequal playing field where the man might think all he has to do is get down on one knee to propose, while the woman has to do everything else to earn it.
That said, let’s look at the sacrifices that you shouldn’t make because the women who had done it before you lived to regret it.
8 Sacrifices Women Always Regret Making in a Marriage
1. Career or Professional Ambitions
If you ask me, I’d say this is probably one of the top things women sacrifice in marriage.
You will see a woman who was top of her class and on her way to do big things in the career or business world, take a step back, and everything goes downhill from there.
Of course, I’m not saying this is the case for everyone, as I’m sure some ended up enjoying the stay-at-home mum lifestyle or made do with a simpler life.
But there are also many who stepped back from their careers after marriage, thinking it’s the right way to support their husband or focus on the family, and found out it was a mistake.
At first, it felt noble and even fulfilling.
But years later, when the kids grew up or the marriage hit a rough patch, the decision felt wasteful.
Now, they have to deal with the loss of their independence, confidence, and identity.
Although some people think working or owning a business is about money, it really isn’t all there is to it.
Of course, making money is also a plus, but it is much more about having a sense of identity and fulfilment.
That’s why many feel like they lose a part of themselves when they lack.
So, while it is left to you to choose the kind of life you want for yourself, you must know that you can be a supportive wife and still chase your dreams.
You need to ensure you marry a man who understands that and is ready to be as hands-on as you are.
If you are both putting in the work domestically, between both of you, you can make it work.
Again, it’s up to you, but I have seen many cases where the women who gave up their careers wished they hadn’t.
2. Friends and Family
For this one, I don’t think it’s often intentional except, of course, you get married to a manipulator or abuser who wants to isolate you.
In that case, he might deliberately cause a drift between you and your family and friends.
But otherwise, it’s not always intentional; it’s just easy to drift away from friends and family when marriage gets busy.
And if you’re married, you know married life is quite busy.
But that’s not an excuse to forget your family and friends.
I know you may tell yourself you’re just focusing on your home, and that you’ll reconnect later.
But later often never comes.
So, you must be deliberate to keep the connection with your support system, because, believe it or not, you will need them someday.
And when that time comes, your husband and children alone will not suffice.
You will need those people who would remind you who you are outside of being a wife and mother.
But if you don’t nurture your relationship with them, they will be nowhere to be found.
So, stay close to your people; love needs community to remain grounded.
3. Their Voice
Yeah, another thing that can be lost in a marriage is your voice.
In a bid to maintain the peace, many women have chosen silence when their partner does something wrong, believing it’s better not to start a fight.
They swallow hurt, anger, and disappointment, thinking peace is worth the price.
But the problem is that silence doesn’t bring peace; it breeds resentment.
Over time, bottled-up pain turns into distance and emotional exhaustion.
Besides that, the women who kept quiet for years often say they lost their voice entirely, and trust me, you don’t want a marriage where you can’t speak up.
Yes, speaking up might cause tension in the moment, but it also earns you respect and ensures honesty.
Plus, a marriage that’s only surviving because of your silence isn’t truly peaceful.
If you want actual peace, you need to learn when to speak up to hash out issues and move on from them.
And you also need to learn when to be silent and not make a fuss.
4. Self-Identity
Unfortunately, some women feel they need to adjust who they are to fit their husband’s preferences.
They change how they talk, dress, laugh, or even think.
Remember that I’m not against compromise; I already mentioned above that love requires sacrifice.
But changing your personality is not one of those sacrifices you need to make.
If you do that, after a while, you will barely recognize yourself.
Very soon, the woman you once were will become a watered-down version of who he wants you to be.
And the regret will always come, sooner or later, especially when you realize you traded your authenticity for his approval.
Understand that a man who truly loves you won’t want you to shrink yourself to please him.
So, while you should seek growth, make sure not to lose your essence.
5. Financial Independence
At first, it might sound romantic that your man handles everything: bills, savings, and spending.
It may even make you proud that you have a provider in your hands, while all you have to do is sit pretty and be domesticated.
The problem is that life doesn’t announce to us when it wants to throw us curveballs.
Life just changes when it wants to.
And it could be anything – job loss, sickness, your husband changing or the marriage ending.
At those times, you will realize how vulnerable you’ve become.
This is why financial independence is one of the sacrifices women regret most, because money gives you choices, and choices give you peace.
When you lack it, you are at the mercy of the one who has it.
You might have heard that he who pays the piper determines the tune.
So, even if your husband earns more, always have your own income or savings.
You need that for security and self-respect.
6. Personal Dreams and Goals
This is quite similar to the first point, but I separated them because they sometimes differ.
A career goal is not necessarily a personal goal.
For instance, a career goal might be to one day work for a Fortune 500 company, while a personal goal could be to travel the world.
That said, many women have been known to put their dreams on hold for the kids and for the marriage, or even for stability.
They tell themselves they’ll get back to it later, but later turns into years, and the dream fades into regret.
The sad part is that the goal was part of what made them feel alive, but now they’ve lost it because by the time they realized it, it was likely too late.
So, you must know that you don’t have to leave your best self behind because of your marriage, and your dreams don’t make you selfish; they make you whole.
7. Wellbeing and Health
Some women give their all to everyone but themselves.
They cook, clean, work, and care until they burn out because they think being a good wife means pushing through exhaustion and ignoring their body’s warnings.
But the truth is that when your health breaks down, the world doesn’t stop rotating.
And many women who lived that way regret not resting, not eating well, not putting themselves first sometimes.
Yes, you should be there for your family, but don’t neglect self-care in the process.
A healthy you is a stronger you.
So, taking care of yourself isn’t neglecting your home; it’s preserving your ability to keep it running.
8. Value System
Like losing your personality, it’s tempting to bend your values in marriage to avoid conflict and convince yourself it’s just a compromise.
But over time, you won’t recognize yourself again.
You will find that all you used to hold dearly doesn’t seem to exist anymore.
Again, I’m not advocating for rigidity whereby you never shift your ground.
But don’t also lose the good values you have on the altar of marriage.
Staying true to your values may not always please your partner, but it keeps you aligned with who you are.
Plus, the right man won’t ask you to lose your principles to prove your love, anyway.