When we hear that people have divorced, many of us are likely to assume that they no longer love each other automatically.
But life is not always black and white; it contains different shades of grey as well.
And in one of those shades, it is possible for two people who are still in love to divorce.
This is because romantic love is not always enough when it comes to relationships and marriage.
Some other things need to be present for a marriage to survive.
So, sometimes a woman doesn’t leave because she has stopped loving her husband, but because staying will completely break her spirit.
In this situation, divorce isn’t proof that her love died; it’s proof that she’s done trying to survive where she’s supposed to feel safe.
This article is for you if you are a woman wondering why some women leave their marriage despite loving their husband.
Or you’re a man wondering why your wife is insisting she loves you while filing for divorce.
Without much ado, let’s look at other reasons a woman might file for divorce besides a lack of love.
8 Reasons Women Choose Divorce Even When They Are Still In Love
1. They feel neglected emotionally
As I said before, life is not always black and white.
That means divorces don’t always happen because of big fights or shouting matches.
Sometimes, the breakdown might be more subtle, where, in this case, the woman feels invisible.
For instance, even the quietest woman is likely a yapper when she is with a man she loves.
But if her husband ignores her when she talks and never pays attention when she complains about needing more attention, the hurt could pile up.
Now, he may even love her, but maybe he feels working and giving her the life he feels she deserves is more vital.
On the other hand, she is more content with less if it means spending time with her where he is present and not answering work calls.
Those differences in perspective can cause a wedge between them even without meaning to.
And over time, she will stop trying to share anything at all because what’s the point if he doesn’t care?
Now, you might argue that he cares, but remember that she doesn’t know that.
So, from her perspective, the love is one-sided.
And when she feels emotionally starved long enough, she might believe leaving is the only way to feel alive again.
2. They feel like single parents
One major irony that many people have yet to understand is that many married women are single parents.
Ideally, marriage means partnership, whereby both partners complement each other and work together for the common good.
Unfortunately, for some women, marriage is not a partnership, but parenting an extra kid.
I mean, a woman is a single parent if she is doing all the cooking, cleaning, handling school calls, while he watches TV or keeps saying, “Just tell me what to do” without taking initiative.
In fact, some men even employ weaponized incompetence.
That means, they mess things up deliberately so their woman doesn’t ask them to do it again.
And then, she is forced to handle everything herself to the point of exhaustion.
As we all know, love doesn’t make exhaustion easier.
So, she might still care about him, but carrying everything alone will ultimately break her spirit.
Eventually, she will realize she’s already living as a single parent, just with an extra mouth to feed.
So, she might as well make it official and free herself from the extra kid.
3. Unmet expectations
Every woman walks into marriage with a few expectations.
In fact, we all do; nobody gets married just to get married.
We all go into marriage expecting certain things from our spouse.
And I’m not talking about fairy tales, I’m talking about basic emotional support, companionship, and shared effort.
So, when a woman’s reality seems to be completely different from what she expected, it can grow to become unbearable.
Yes, she might still love her husband, but that love doesn’t stop her from feeling unfulfilled.
One day, she might look around and think, “If this is all it’ll ever be, maybe I’m better off starting over.”
And while her husband thinks she is comfortable, she might surprise him by asking for a divorce because marriage has not been able to provide what she expected.
4. Unrealistic expectations
Now, we also need to be honest that while some expectations are valid, like in the previous point, some are unrealistic.
Unfortunately, some women erroneously think love will fix everything, so it’s not that her husband has failed her; she just expected too much from love.
She might have believed marriage would always feel magical and that they’d never drift apart or grow tired.
She probably thought her husband would never hurt her and he would always make her happy, only to find that he is human and sometimes, selfish.
Additionally, she is soon to find out that real life gets messy, and bills, work, and kids can drain the spark if both parties don’t fight to keep it alive.
So, when she feels like he is not exactly like the fairy tale prince she pictured, she might struggle to live with that reality.
Although she might still love him, she may struggle to reconcile what’s before her with what she has in her head.
5. Incompatibility
Loving someone doesn’t always mean you fit with them.
For instance, if she’s ambitious while he wants to coast or she’s spiritual and he’s not, it might be a sign that they don’t fit.
And if none of them is willing to shift ground, they are likely to start arguing because it’s often difficult to find a common ground with someone whose value system is entirely different from yours.
Of course, if their differences are based on trivial things like favorite food or hobby, that could work.
But with more important things like spirituality and managing finances, they may struggle even to communicate; every conversation may turn into a misunderstanding.
And although the love may still be present, their worlds don’t align.
So even though she cries while packing her things, she may choose to leave because she feels that staying would only make them more resentful.
6. Exhaustion due to unequal domestic labor
You’d be surprised how many marriages die from small daily frustrations.
Recently, there’s been a lot of discourse on social media from women kicking against being co-providers because, according to them, it’s unfair.
And I hear it, because most times, what that means is that the woman is contributing financially while handling all the domestic labor 100%.
It will only be fair if both parties are contributing financially and also domestically.
But when only one party is doing all the cooking, cleaning, planning, and managing the household and is still expected to bring in money, of course, she is likely to get frustrated.
So, while most women don’t mind caring for their home, they don’t want a husband who wants to help out sometimes.
Eventually, that kind of life might wear her out, and even if she loves him, she might stop asking for more and plan her exit.
7. Desire for personal growth
Sometimes, she wants more for herself.
She may want more peace, more growth, and more purpose, and her husband doesn’t get that.
And it’s impossible to seek growth with a man who isn’t supporting it.
For this reason, she might choose to leave rather than suffocate.
8. Infidelity and betrayals
This one is not surprising because many women would agree that few things break a woman’s spirit like betrayal.
While some may be able to forgive their husband cheating on them, not many will be able to forget it.
So, she might even try to forgive, but finds that every time he touches her, she remembers his indiscretion.
And the thing with trust is that when it’s broken, it’s hard to rebuild, and things may never remain the same again.
Therefore, for some women, it might be better to live because that’s the only way they can really move on from the hurt.