You may have heard that marriage is a union of two forgivers.
I honestly think no truer words have been said, because you cannot survive marriage without forgiving each other.
Now, of course, the intent is not to keep deliberately hurting each other.
But since we are human beings, and therefore, fallible, chances are we will.
Even twins have disagreements and offend each other.
So, it will be asking too much of your partner not to expect them to offend you at all, or too much of yourself not to expect to offend them.
So, clearly, offending each other is not the issue; the main issue is what happens afterwards.
Things can always happen in a relationship that may cause a rift or emotional distance; the solution is not always a breakup or divorce, or nobody would be married.
Sometimes, you just need to work on drawing your partner back to you, and all will be well again.
But how do you do that?
Let’s take a look.
8 Ways to Draw Your Partner Closer After Emotional Distance
1. Talk about the issue extensively
Something definitely caused the rift, and if you want to properly find it out, you need to talk.
If you don’t, it clearly means you’re not ready to fix it.
But I know you do, or you won’t be reading this.
So, talk. And I mean, really talk.
Don’t sweep stuff under the rug or pretend everything’s okay; that would get you nowhere.
Rather, sit your partner down and have an open and honest conversation.
Let it all out; what hurt you or them, what caused the distance, and what you both need going forward.
Now, the conversation might feel awkward or uncomfortable.
It’s normal, so don’t let it deter you; make sure you have that conversation until you get to the root of the problem.
2. Honestly, work on the issues raised
I know I said a lot about talking as though that’s all there is to it, but talking is also not enough.
Like we say, talk is cheap.
So, now that you’ve talked and cleared the air, what really matters is doing something about it.
For instance, if your partner shared things that hurt them or caused them to pull away, you can’t just nod and forget.
You’ve got to make a real effort to change; you need to let your partner see that you are making changes.
For example, if the issue is that you were not attentive or present, then let them see you working on it.
Actions speak louder than words; if you are making promises and not putting effort, you might as well communicate that you don’t care to fix the emotional gap.
The only way to assure them is by showing, not telling, that you are willing to be with them and close any emotional gap.
3. Be intentional about spending time together
You can’t fix emotional distance by just being in the same room; you’ve got to be intentional about spending time together.
So, plan dates, go for walks, talk without your phones in hand, and actually be present.
Even if it’s just 30 minutes a day, you can manage because of work or other responsibilities, make it count.
Ensure to make time for just the two of you.
Use that time to be silly, laugh, talk deeply, and rebuild your bond bit by bit.
Don’t waste time waiting for the perfect moment; it will never come.
So create one now and be consistent with it.
And it’s only a matter of time before you start getting your rhythm back.
4. Earn their trust again
This may not apply to you if no trust was broken.
But if you broke the trust of your partner through lies, secrets, or some kind of betrayal, then you’ve got work to do.
Remember that trust is difficult to earn, so it is equally not going to be easy to rebuild.
In fact, it might even be harder to rebuild because there was no precedent before; now, there is.
So, you can’t rush it; you need the time, consistency, and honesty it takes to rebuild trust.
Also, this is a very sensitive time because every slip-up will lead to your partner overthinking.
Before, you may have been able to tell a white lie or two and get away with it.
But now, even a little white lie will get you in trouble because your partner is on edge and trying to protect themselves.
Now, I understand you might think it’s unfair to you, but if you’re serious about getting back with your partner, then you need to do what you have to do to get them back.
That means do what you say you’ll do and be open even about the littlest things.
You should also answer their questions, be transparent, and don’t get defensive when they ask questions.
It might feel like you’re walking on eggshells at first, but if you really want your partner back emotionally, you need to rebuild that foundation.
5. Set appropriate boundaries
Some people might not appreciate the concept of boundaries in a relationship, but they are actually healthy if they are within a reasonable extent.
For instance, it’s possible that your emotional distance came from crossed lines, overstepping, or a lack of respect.
In that case, it’s time to draw some clear lines.
Talk about what feels okay and what doesn’t for both of you.
Whatever it is – space to process feelings, how you handle arguments, or how much time is spent apart – make sure to make it clear and follow it with intention.
That way, you won’t find yourself back where you started from.
6. Spend time working on yourself
Sometimes, the emotional gap has less to do with your partner and more to do with you.
For instance, if you’ve been dealing with stress, anger issues, low self-esteem, or unresolved baggage, it could be what’s causing the rift.
So you need to get healthier because a healthier you makes for a healthier relationship.
So, do whatever you need to do – read, journal, pray, get therapy, rest, pursue your goal – to grow.
Besides the fact that it helps you show up rightly for your new relationship, it also shows your partner that you are working on yourself.
And that makes it easier for them to feel safe coming close again.
Plus, you feel better too, so win-win, right?
7. Get help
Sometimes, you might need to bring in outside help.
And there’s no shame in that.
If you’re unable to resolve it yourself but you still want to be together, it might be best to get an external perspective.
Because sometimes, you’re too close to the problem to figure it out on your own.
So, try therapy, speak to a trusted mentor, or even a relationship coach, someone who is neutral and qualified enough to offer fresh perspective and tools to help you both reconnect.
8. Be patient
This one is hard, but it’s necessary.
If you’re serious about closing the emotional gap, you have to understand that it won’t happen overnight.
Rebuilding closeness takes time, especially if hurt or mistrust is involved.
So, expect to have moments where it feels like nothing’s working.
But don’t give up too quickly; keep showing up, putting in the work, and communicating.
And more importantly, be patient with your partner and yourself.
If you stay true to it, it’s only a matter of time before things get back to the way they used to be.