The age-long question!
Maybe not so age-long but more prevalent in recent decades when the fight for gender equality has become more vocal and women are comfortable being independent and strong.
Before now, these things were easy – the man asks you out on a date, he comes to pick you up, opens the door for you and takes care of the bills.
But it’s no longer as easy now as it was in the days before as there are now a lot of grey areas.
Honestly, being a feminist, I welcome it with both hands because what comes with the alternative is not something I enjoy.
However, we cannot deny that this poses a challenge, hence, the question – who should pay the bills on a first date?
Personally, I would say whoever did the asking should pay the bills.
The first date is a little tricky for both parties because they are just getting to know each other. Paying the bills for the second, third and following dates is not really an issue because by then, you have known each other to an extent and some of that obsessive desire to impress has lessened.
Plus, for some people, they have probably become exclusive by then and both of you are now partners who should take care of each other, including taking care of each other’s bills.
But we do not enjoy this luxury on the first date and that is why it is important for me, that whoever does the asking and the planning should pay for it.
In most cases, this would be the guy because the truth is, while we have gotten a lot progressive, there are still societal expectations and beliefs that limit us and so, many women are not comfortable doing the chasing just like there are many men who are not comfortable being chased; they want to do the chasing.
What this means is that statistically, more men get to initiate the first date and will have to pay for it.
But if you are a woman who is bold enough to initiate the first date, be ready to pay the bills as well.
This does not change the fact that the other party can offer to split the bills or even pay the bills, but just in case they don’t, if you initiated it, be ready to take care of it.
The onus is now on you to plan the date based on your budget. Luckily, there are so many first date ideas you can try without having to break the bank. Pick a venue you can comfortably handle, so you don’t end the date on an embarrassing note.
If you are the party that is not paying the bills, remember to say thank you and not feel entitled to the payment; it does not only show you are considerate and courteous, it is also the right thing to do.
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