Okay, my ladies, this one is for you.
I’m sure you don’t mind me being real, because I will … with love, though, because I want you to have a flourishing relationship.
So, you know how we usually focus on what guys do wrong: leaving the toilet seat up, forgetting anniversaries, or that selective hearing they seem to develop during football season.
That’s all well and good.
But relationships are a two-way street, and if we are honest with ourselves, we aren’t exactly perfect either.
Sometimes, without even realizing it, we do things that absolutely baffle or frustrate the men in our lives.
I’m not talking about anything malicious; that’s discourse for another day, as that just makes you difficult to love.
No, I’m talking about annoyances that spring from how differently we see life or how we communicate.
Even though we don’t deliberately mean to cause annoyance, those things could still pile up and create distance in a relationship that should be loving.
So, in the spirit of fairness and better understanding, let’s look at the other side of the coin – things women do that annoy men.
7 Things Women Do That Annoy Men
1. Saying “I’m Fine” when you are not
I will be the first to admit that I’ve done this, so I believe it’s quite common.
He asks what’s wrong, and you sigh and say, “I’m fine,” giving no room for further discussion.
Now, as a woman, I know it means he should probe more, but our expression is honestly scary when we do that.
So, it’s very confusing for the man.
In fact, most of them would interpret it as you wanting to be left alone.
Now, I’m not one to subscribe to stereotypes, but as someone told me, they are there for a reason.
So, I apologize in advance for being a little stereotypical throughout this post.
But men tend to be literal creatures.
When you say you are fine, they want to believe you so they can get back to relaxing.
When you later blow up because he didn’t comfort you, he will feel like you deliberately set him up for failure.
And nobody likes feeling like they are being tested in their relationship, especially one they didn’t know they were taking.
The best way to relate is to say you are mad if you are, and only say you are fine if you are actually fine.
If you keep expecting him to decode your silence, you will soon make him anxious because he never knows what you mean.
2. Bringing up ancient history
I know not every woman does this, but because of those who do, it needs to be addressed.
As tempting as it might be to bring up an issue that should stay in the past where it belongs, you must remember that there’s a reason it’s in the past.
For example, why are you bringing up an issue that happened 5 years ago when you are arguing about who forgot to take out the trash?
I’m not a man, and even I can see the disconnect.
Plus, men generally compartmentalize their conflicts; they want to solve the issue right in front of them and move on.
But when you pull out a receipt from three years ago, it makes him feel like you will always hang things over his head.
And honestly, it’s unfair.
Here he is thinking an issue has been resolved, but you’re showing him that nothing is ever truly forgiven.
That would make him feel like he can never win, so he will eventually stop trying to resolve the current issue at all.
3. The “We Need to Talk” Text
Sending this text in the middle of the workday is basically torturing him.
You might just want to discuss weekend plans or the budget, but to him, those four words sound like “I’m breaking up with you”.
He will spend the next four hours unable to focus on work, his stomach in knots, running through every mistake he has made in the last six months.
Stop torturing the poor man.
Unless it is an actual emergency, give a little context.
For instance, texting “We need to talk about the vacation dates tonight” is better than that cryptic message that does nothing but mess up his whole day.
4. Asking him trick questions
This one seems harmless, but it can frustrate a man.
For instance, asking if you are fat in something you wear or if he loves you more than his mother are frustrating questions, because what is he supposed to tell you?
If you indeed looked fat in the dress, would you like to hear it?
And really, how is he supposed to say he loves one more than the other when they are different kinds of love?
So, you see the problem; there is no right answer – either way, he will be d*mned.
Also, if he hesitates, he’s in trouble.
And if he answers too quickly, you will question his sincerity.
It puts him in a high-stress situation where he feels he has to perform rather than just be honest.
So, stop masking your insecurities in difficult questions.
If you want a compliment, ask for one directly.
Better still, work on your insecurities; besides not frustrating your man, it’s a good opportunity to work on yourself.
5. Expecting him to read your mind
We often think that if a man really loves us, he would just know what we need.
But sadly, mind-reading isn’t a side effect of love.
When you get upset that he didn’t do the thing you never asked him to do, you are basically stressing him out.
I know you don’t mean to, but you’re basically making him feel he is bad at relationships, when really, he just isn’t psychic.
So, next time you want something, be direct.
Saying “I would really love it if you planned a date night this week” gets you what you want and gives him a clear way to make you happy.
And everyone wins.
6. Micromanaging him
I once lived with a micromanager, so I know how frustrating this is from experience.
Plus, it really can be discouraging for someone who wants to pick up the slack and do their part.
I know you have your way of arranging the dishes, but if his way isn’t dangerous, then you can let it slide.
Otherwise, you risk his leaving the job to you.
And I know you might think you are superwoman, but you can’t and shouldn’t do it all alone.
Accept his help and his way of doing things.
I mean, I understand if the issue is something that could cause a domestic hazard or spoil things, but if it’s really about preferences, I think you can afford to let it go.
Moreover, stop hovering and correcting him like he’s a naughty child; it emasculates him.
It sends the message that he is incompetent in his own home.
If you want a partner, you have to accept that he might do things differently from you.
Again, unless he is putting red socks in with white shirts, let it go.
7. Criticizing him in public
I don’t think anybody likes this – not just men.
However, for most men, it can feel like betrayal because it sounds emasculating.
I know sometimes, you are just messing with him.
But teasing him about his driving or his cooking in front of your friends is not comedic to most men.
They are big on respect, especially from their partners.
So, he won’t find it funny when you make him the butt of the joke to get a laugh from the group.
If you have an issue with him, keep it behind closed doors.
And be his biggest cheerleader publicly.