Love is a beautiful thing but sometimes, even the best of us fall for the wrong one. Trust me, if you are experiencing this, you are not alone. Many ladies have experienced kissing a few frogs before meeting prince charming.
Sometimes, despite the red flags, we are so consumed with what we feel for them that we don’t pay attention to them. It can be so bad we even see those things we should count as red flags as TLC (Tender, Loving Care) when it should make us run the other way.
No judgement because as I said earlier, this has happened to the best of us.
But you don’t have to worry any longer because I am here to help; if you see these signs exhibited in your partner, then you are definitely dating a loser and should find your way out of the relationship.
Signs You are Dating a Loser
He never takes responsibility
One of the characteristics of losers is that they never take responsibility for their wrongdoings. They always find someone to blame for the reason they do whatever it is they do and in this case, it will be you. Nobody is perfect but to a loser, he is perfect and every other person is the one with the problem. If he does something wrong, you will be blamed for it.
He is possessive
A loser doesn’t want to share you with others. Now, this might sound romantic and flattering but it is dangerous. Nobody wants their partner cheating on them, so that is different. But when you are with someone who doesn’t want you to be with any other person but them, you should be worried … very worried.
Most times, it doesn’t matter if the person is family or friends, as far as the person is not them, they have a problem. They want to be with you when they want to, regardless of whom you want to spend the time with at that time. Losers usually alienate their victims from loved ones. In a healthy relationship, they accept your loved ones as an extension of you.
He is inconsistent
A loser is inconsistent; he is neither here nor there. You cannot really tell what he is up to because he is not reliable or dependable. He calls frequently sometimes, occasionally some times and other times, you won’t even hear from him. With him, you will never be sure if he is in love with you or not. He will always keep you guessing and when someone genuinely loves you, he will never leave you in doubt of how he feels about you.
None of your family and friends likes him
Jealousy here and there from close family members and certain close friends is normal. This is because the closeness you shared with them will unconsciously reduce and priority might change largely to your partner. However, when none of them like him, it means they have seen the signs that he makes you unhappy. Usually, our loved ones see this before we do because we are so blinded by love; we are busy making excuses for them. Also, the man for you will share certain values with your friends and family, so if none of them likes him, then it is a huge red flag.
He is selfish and self-obsessed
Most losers are very vain people who care only about themselves. They do not care about anything that has to do with you; all they care about is how they feel. If you are with someone who cares more about how he looks than how he makes you feel, then you need to start planning your escape. The best way to test this is right from the first date. A loser will most likely make the date solely about him and not care to want to know about you, which is the point of the date in the first place.
You feel disrespected
When someone loves you, they respect you. If you feel constantly disrespected, listen to your guts. You are not asking for too much if you are asking to be respected. A loser doesn’t care that how he talks or relates to you is respectful, in fact, he will even make you feel guilty that you have a problem being disrespected.
You feel insecure in the relationship
You should feel secure in your relationship; you should not constantly be in doubt that you can trust your partner to be committed and faithful to you. One of the signs that you are in the right place is feeling at peace with the person. If you are fearful, not at peace, then you are most likely dating a loser because it is almost like you never know your place in his life.
You feel pressured to be somebody else
We should all strive to be better versions of ourselves and we should be with people who inspire us to be better versions of ourselves. But the operative word there is “inspire”, not “force.” A loser will want to mould you into a version of a person that is definitely not you. He is constantly talking about your flaws and wanting you to change into what he is comfortable with. Love accepts us for who we are, a loser doesn’t.
He is abusive
Most losers have a penchant for abuse; in fact, that is the major trait they have. They are either physically abusive or emotionally or both. In all cases, if you stay too long as a victim of abuse, you are likely to become a shadow of yourself. You will very likely disagree in a relationship but the argument should always be about the issues, there should be no personal attacks involved, whether physically or emotionally.
His words never match his actions
A loser says one thing and does the exact opposite. His words never match his actions. You will almost always catch him in a lie because he is usually living a double life. You can never trust his words or integrity; he has no integrity.
He doesn’t have any real ambition
You know a loser with the way he is with his own life. A loser usually prefers to live off someone than to make any real plans or have any real ambitions and follow through with it. In this case, you will likely be the one taking care of his financial needs and he will make you feel grateful for being able to do that. He doesn’t have any goals or ambition in life.
You feel like you are carrying the weight in the relationship
Love is give and take; you should give and receive love. But in a relationship with a loser, you will feel like you are carrying the weight of the relationship. You don’t feel like you are receiving anything back while you are constantly giving.
Losers are usually hard to escape from because they never want their victims to be free of them, so don’t expect it to be easy to break up. They will likely relentless pursue you that you will think you made a mistake about them at first. But you see, if they have these qualities, you are not mistaken, you should kick them to the curb and not look back. I wish you the best!