We all know that a strong marriage is important for a happy life.
There are many “prescriptions” for a happy marriage. Countless books, articles, blog posts, and podcasts offer advice on how to make your relationship thrive.
While all of this information is well-intentioned, sometimes the most important tips are the ones that go under the radar.
In this post, we’ll share some of our favorite tips on how to make your marriage stronger and better.
Whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been married for years, be sure to read on!
How To Make Your Marriage Stronger and Better
1. Communicate effectively – talk about your feelings, needs, and concerns
One of the most important things that you can do to ensure a stronger and better marriage is talk about your feelings.
It sounds obvious, but many people are reluctant to share their thoughts and concerns.
If you don’t know how to communicate effectively, start out by choosing a positive time to talk to your partner.
Try to do this in person if possible and find a private location where you won’t be interrupted.
It’s also important that you feel safe while you talk about what’s on your mind.
Before you start talking, think about what’s most important to you.
What are your concerns?
What are your feelings?
Try to avoid being judgmental or accusatory.
Rather than saying “you never listen to me”, say “I feel lonely because I don’t feel like you’re interested in my day”.
If it helps, take some time to prepare your thoughts before you talk.
Putting them in writing can be a great way to clarify what you want to say.
Once you’ve talked, don’t forget about how your partner is feeling.
When they’re done speaking, show that you’re listening by paraphrasing their concerns and asking questions to clarify anything that’s unclear.
It’s also important to make a habit of talking about your feelings on a daily basis.
This doesn’t need to take a lot of time but it can help you stay connected and strengthen your bond with your partner.
2. Don’t take each other for granted – appreciate each other and be grateful
It can be tempting to take our partners for granted when we’re in a long-term relationship, but this doesn’t have to be the case!
Taking time to express your gratitude and appreciation will strengthen your bond with your partner and improve your overall happiness.
One of the best ways to show appreciation is to express gratitude before it’s warranted.
Instead of waiting until your partner does something nice for you, tell them how much you appreciate the little things they do each day.
This will make it more clear that they’re a priority in your life and help foster a stronger connection between the two of you.
If you feel like saying thank you isn’t enough, show your gratitude in other ways.
Instead of taking them out for dinner, cook their favorite dish or press pause on Netflix so you can spend some quality time together.
If you want to go above and beyond, consider expressing your gratitude through actions rather than words.
This could include writing a love letter or planning a date night where they get to pick everything.
Even something as simple as sending your partner a picture of something that made you think of them can be powerful.
Another great way to show your gratitude is by writing about how important your relationship is to you.
Try taking out a piece of paper and describe what makes your partner so special or what you admire most about them.
Having a record of what you’re thankful for can save you when you need a reminder of why your partner is so important.
3. Speak kindly – no hurtful words ever!
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to let hurtful words slip out without thinking.
This is especially true when you’re having an argument or trying to prove your point.
Even if the things you say are technically true, they can still be hurtful and damaging to your relationship.
Negative communication patterns like these can be a big red flag that your relationship isn’t going well.
To help improve your communication style, try speaking kindly to your partner instead of saying hurtful things even in the heat of the moment.
If you’re tempted to lash out at them because you’re frustrated with something they did, take a few minutes to cool off before responding.
This can be hard to do when you’re upset, but taking the time to collect your thoughts could prevent the conversation from escalating.
Instead of getting into a full-blown argument, try to convey your feelings using “I” statements.
This will help you speak more softly while still making it clear that something is bothering you.
You could say things like “I feel as if you aren’t as interested in our relationship as I am. Have I done something to make you not want to spend time with me?”
Even if it’s difficult, try your best to avoid using cruel words like “never” or “always.”
These words can really hurt your partner and will only make the conflict worse.
Remember that your words have a lot of power and can either strengthen or weaken the connection between you and your partner.
4. Resolve conflicts calmly and respectfully – don’t let anger or resentment build up over time
It’s only natural that couples debate every once in a while, but it’s important to resolve conflicts in a way that benefits both people.
When you’re upset with your partner, don’t let anger or resentment build up over time.
If the conflict isn’t resolved right away it could escalate into something much more serious down the line.
Sometimes it’s easier to push your feelings aside and pretend like everything is okay.
After all, it can be uncomfortable or difficult to address problems that you’re having with your partner.
Resolving conflicts in a respectful way isn’t always easy, but it’s definitely worth the effort.
It will make your relationship stronger and help both of you feel happier in the long run.
5. Support each other’s goals and dreams – be there for one another through thick and thin
When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to support your partner and help them grow.
Whether they’re trying to accomplish a big goal or simply struggling with something in their life, do everything that you can to be there for them.
Don’t just show support during times of crisis; try to make it a part of your everyday lives.
If your partner is going through a difficult time or working towards a specific goal, you can motivate each other to keep going.
You might even discover that their goals and dreams inspire you to work harder on something that’s important to you.
Doing things like this will make your marriage stronger and better.
6. Forgive each other’s mistakes – nobody’s perfect, so learn to forgive
It’s inevitable that people will make mistakes from time to time.
If you’re going through a difficult patch in your relationship, remember that your partner is only human.
They aren’t perfect and they probably did their best given the circumstances.
Even if you don’t agree with what they did, try to acknowledge that it was an honest mistake.
If the offense is a serious one, understand that healing could take some time.
7. Don’t lose yourself in the relationship – make time for your own life and interests
Although it’s important to spend time together as a couple, you shouldn’t lose sight of your identity outside of the relationship.
It can be tempting to let everything fall by the wayside so that you have more time to spend with your significant other, but it’s really important to take some time for yourself.
Remember that you’re an individual and deserve the chance to pursue your own interests.
Obviously, it’s fine to spend time with your partner and even do things that you enjoy together.
But it’s equally important to have some time alone so you don’t lose sight of who you are.
8. Be affectionate in public – even a simple kiss or hug can make your partner feel loved and appreciated
When you’re with someone, it’s nice to be affectionate.
There’s nothing wrong with being physical when you’re in the privacy of your own home, but you should also try to express love in public from time to time too.
When you kiss or hug your significant other in front of people, it shows them that they’re loved and appreciated.
They’ll feel more secure and comfortable with you knowing that you still want to show affection after all of the time that you’ve spent together.
9. Have fun together – make an effort to do things that you both enjoy
You and your partner should enjoy yourselves when you’re together.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go on wild adventures every time that you hang out; however, it’s always nice to do fun things from time to time.
When both of you feel like the other person enjoys spending time with you, it makes your relationship stronger.
10. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship – don’t dwell on the problems
When you have a good relationship, it’s important to focus on the positives.
It’s very easy to get stuck thinking about all of the things that are wrong with your significant other or your life together, but this is something that you should avoid whenever possible.
It’s so easy to overlook the good things that you have when you’re constantly harping on about what’s wrong.
You might even find that your problems suddenly don’t seem so overwhelming after time passes and they start to become more manageable.
Remember, marriage is a constant work-in-progress.
No one has all the answers or knows everything about staying happily married for decades.
But if you focus on the basics and put in the effort to make your relationship stronger, you’ll be surprised by what a big difference it makes.
11. Be open to trying new things
Doing the same thing every day can make for a boring marriage, so be sure to try new things together from time to time.
Even if you don’t like what you’re doing, the fact that you’re trying something new will make your partner feel more special and deepen your relationship.
12. Go on dates
Going out on dates is a great way to reconnect with your partner.
Whether you go to dinner, see a movie, or just take a walk in the park, be sure to do it at least once per month so that your relationship stays strong.
13. Be friends with each other
When one of you changes and stops being your friend, it usually means the beginning of the end for your marriage.
So be sure to check in with your partner every day and really focus on being their friend.
This means that you should do things together, talk about everything and don’t keep any secrets between each other.
14. Be flexible
One of the most important ways you can strengthen your marriage is by being flexible with your partner.
For example, if you’re normally an early riser but your partner is not, try waking up a little later to accommodate their schedule.
Being willing to make small changes for each other will allow you both to thrive and really feel like you’re on the same team.
15. Be physically intimate
How can I talk about how to make your marriage stronger and better without mentioning s*x?
Physical intimacy is like the seal that binds the other ingredients together.
Touch each other affectionately, hold hands, cuddle up on the couch, kiss, hug, and have regular s*x etc.
We hope that this post has given you some new ideas on how to take your marriage to the next level.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
With the above fifteen tips, you’ll definitely fall in love with your partner over and over again.