A lot of women put themselves under unnecessary pressure in order to be tagged a good wife. Often times, most pieces of advice and responsibility of keeping the home or relationship are given to the women, as if the man is equally not accountable.
I’d think it is because women are master planner and perform better as home makers by nature. It is okay to try being the best version of oneself and aim at being the best wife to your darling husband, but it is equally important to care for oneself in the process.
Personally, I believe being a good wife is about the little things I do on daily basis without having to put myself on the line. When I get overwhelmed about my responsibilities as a wife and mother coupled with my career pursuits, I just remind myself that “nobody is indispensable”.
If one ends up being broken, the world would adjust and move on. So, it’s about maintaining a balance.
Here are few ways to being a good wife to your spouse:
#Give him attention
I know women like to multitask a lot, but it will be disrespectful pressing phones, trying to fix the laundry, or fry meat when your husband is discussing with you. Paying attention when he is having a conversation with you will bring about more connection. I don’t take for granted the times my husband has to gist with me, he is a man of few words, so I try to get the best out of that time and I am sure most men are like that.
#Don’t overdo being perfect
I know we all love to appear sexy for our husbands, trying to be the “yummy mummy”, but taking it our own pace is important. I see some women wanting to get their “prebaby” body back just few weeks postpartum, forgetting they also need to take their time to heal. Some even overdo this and may end up falling into depression if they can’t get the curves and flat tummy back. Put in mind that a man who truly loves you wants you to be in right frame of mind before realizing how curvy your body is. Take it at your pace.
#Pick your fight wisely
Sometimes being a woman can be overwhelming that we just want to transfer the aggression to our spouses, but it is important to remind ourselves that we need to be calm no matter how tensed or annoyed we are. We say a lot of things in annoyance that we may regret later. So, I have learned to be silent when I am so angry, then I look for a better time and atmosphere to make my grievances known. Some things are also better ignored, because complaining all the time may make one look like a nagging wife.
Women are more resilient by nature, being a good wife is standing by one’s spouse in all circumstance. I mean life isn’t always rosy as we wish, sometimes our husbands may experience financial hiccup, loss of job or business challenges, being a good wife isn’t giving the needed support and stand by them till a solution is proffered for things to get better.
#Love him for who he is
It isn’t easy for an adult to change habits overnight; you don’t have to judge your husband for some of the things he does differently from how you want him to do it. All you need to do is to constructively criticize him, tell him lovingly and in a respectful manner the things you want him to work on and see how much he is going to amen, rather than making him feel you are bossing him.
Self love is the key to being a good wife, you can’t give what you don’t have. It is when you love yourself and appreciate your efforts even if no one does that you can be happy. Without the inner happiness, no one will get the best part of you. Sometimes, I tell myself “I deserve the accolades” for making things even before my husband gets to notice and appreciate me for whatever it is that I have done better.
#Encourage a healthy lifestyle
Some women are so carried away with working on themselves to have a good shape and eating healthy, forgetting their husbands also needs to be fit. As you work on getting a flat tummy, let him also reduce that pot belly. Both men and women need to be fit and since women do more of cooking in most homes, just ensure to include healthy meals in the diet.
A lot of men appreciate their wives being romantic, do not bottle your feelings, let him know you need him and make the move when horny. That’s one of the easiest ways to get the heart of your man and draw him nearer even when you are miles apart. Do not hesitate to explore different sexual styles that you are comfortable with after all he is your husband, so be free and enjoy the moment.
#Respect his family members
Men act like some things doesn’t really matter, but being disrespectful to their parents, siblings or other family is obviously not one of them. Don’t overdo things but endeavour to care about those he loves and check up on them. He wouldn’t trade them for anything just like you also mean the world to him.
#Make the home a love abode
The best gift a good wife can give her husband is peace of mind. Be the wife your man craves to come back home to meet after a stressful day. I see a lot of man leave work and spend time at the pub only to get home to sleep. But when you a good companion, spicing up your love life, then you get the best of your husband.
#Be His best friend
It is normal for married people to have other friends, but you should be the best of friend to your husband, his confidant who wouldn’t let out his secret to anyone. Be open to him and don’t judge him enough for him to fell free sharing things with you, even the craziest things.
#Never talk bad about him to third party
No one is perfect and not even us nor our spouses. Do not share his shortcomings with third parties. Passing negative comments about your spouse will only give people negative impression of your relationship. So, it is better to personally discuss your grievances with him and iron it down than involve third party.
#Support his goals
A good wife should be her husband’s cheerleader, have his back and help him reach his potential. A woman should encourage a man attain his goal, give both verbal and spiritual support (for those who are religious).
Some men look like they are carefree and do not pay attention to things, but they do appreciate complimentary messages. Send him short romantic message as emails or text message. Appreciate his new hair cut, the way he smiles, his job or any other thing he does so well, that will help boost his morale and make him want to do more on self development.