While it is good to see marriage as a means to live happily ever after. we must not deny the reality that marriage requires hard work and effort from a couple.
Love may bring you together, but continuous conscious effort is what makes every marriage a success.
In other to achieve this, it is essential for couples to set marriage goals and work towards achieving them because a successful marriage life requires setting goals which are to be accomplished along the way.
Marriage goals gives couples the reason to depend upon each other, since they have something to work towards. In the pursuit of your goals, you will spend more time together, have more conversations and create more intimate moments.
Setting marriage goals may be revolutionary in marriages because couples would be able to achieve a common goal together for their future with a plan having work towards it.
Here are Some Essential Goals for Married Couples
Companionship
Companionship is the root of all relationships. Spouses need to spend quality time together if they want their relationship to flourish.
When couples don’t focus on companionship, separation begins to occur within that relationship.
Couple should set time to just be alone and enjoy each other’s company. It allows them to stay close and committed to a healthy intimate relationship.
Marriage goals not only give an atmosphere of companionship, but they also help spouses to keep their heads up whenever their marriage is going through difficult transitions.
Read: Dealing with a Painful Breakup like a Boss
Maintain intimacy
A healthy and satisfying intimate life goes beyond the regular “honeymoon phase”. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without sex.
It has been reported that couples who are intimate at least once a week have the greatest satisfaction in their relationships. Don’t let the lack of spontaneity deter you, some couple are so busy that they have to schedule physical contact. which is not so bad.
As long as both parties are committed to maintaining intimacy, then any effort to achieve that is welcomed.
Never let the candle of romance die, flirt with each other, shave and shower together.
Read: Why Good Girls Love Bad Boys
Do not hold grudges
There will be disagreements, since couples are different individuals from different backgrounds.
In every argument, remember that there is no “winner” and a “loser.“
You’re partners in everything, so you either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution. Differences in opinions do not mean a couple is not compatible. It just means that we are different individuals.
Holding on to one’s ego in marriage isn’t helpful. When you make a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong”, “I’m sorry”, “Please forgive me” in order for peace to reign.
Give each other your all
Marriage has to be 100/100. Partners must their all to it.
A marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns in being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.
Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.
Read : Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse
Be faithful to each other
Infidelity is one top killer of marriages. You have chosen to take that person to the altar, so uphold your marital vows and nurture the love daily by not cheating on the one you love with an intruder.
Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy, never keep secrets from each other and never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.
Sit down and talk about what you would like to achieve together each year
It is important for couples to have a dialogue at the start of each new year on what they intend to achieve in the year. It is equally vital not to neglect your personal goals when setting common goals.
Couples should weave together their personal, family, and marriage goals.
Refocus, regroup, and come up with a new plan of achieving together the goals that were not accomplished in past years.
This is a great way to make sure that no one is dissatisfied and no goal is left behind. And this also helps to kick start the year in a phenomenal way.
Discuss and Set measurable financial goals
Marital experts have rated money as one of the top reasons for marital discord. Having a family budget is essential, it helps to give a guide on the income and expenditure of the home.
There may be an imbalance of income between both spouses and they will have different money habits. It is therefore important for couples to discuss their attitudes towards financial matters and be on the same page with each other on financial plan so that they can both contribute and achieve it in time.
If only one spouse is doing all the work, it may eventually lead to frustration and division in the marriage, some persons do not like their partners being a liability.
A successful marriage requires agreement and a unified vision. So, you should understand each other’s approach to making, spending, and saving money. For instance, if you want to save money for a vacation in the coming year and you don’t set a plan in motion for your spending, it may be difficult to attain it.
Talk about anything and everything/Communicate
Communication is the bedrock of a marriage. Many marriages fail to last long because of poor listening habits and inadequate understanding. Conflicts are unavoidable in marriage, but with proper and regular communication, all problems can be solved.
Couples should also nurture their friendship, being the best friend to each other will bring about ease in discussing everything, even the difficult matters. Having tough conversations make you wiser and stronger and broaden your horizon. If spouses avoid talking about difficult issues, it will eventually stifle their communication and ruin their marriage.
Pray Together
For couples who are religious, the importance of praying together is second to none. Pray a covering of protection over each other daily and commit the home into the hand of God.
God established marriage and he should be carried along in the running of the home, while both husband and wife should equally study the Bible.
Act married, you are married
Couples should both endeavour to provide balance in their time and marriage. It is possible to have friends outside of marriage, either from school, work, or places of worship, but not giving attention and being gone from one’s spouse may send a message that one prefers to spend more time with others than with them.
Always wear your wedding ring/band, it will signal to the rest of the world that you are off limits and remind you of your connection to your spouse.
Stay healthy together
Working out together is of immense benefits “couple that sweats together, stays together”.
You not only stay healthy and look good, you also share a bond with your partner.
Having your spouse as your workout partner can be a great way to keep you motivated to make it to the gym with no excuses.
Another fun way to bond is practicing sports together.
Create a healthy competition and sweat out those extra pounds.
It’s also been proven that couple who exercise more have a healthier sex life than those who don’t.
Help your partner to cut down on all the unhealthy diet. Remember you can only get the best from your spouse when they are hale and hearty.
Gift each other treat/gift
It is often said that married couples usually stop doing nice and pleasant things they used to do when they were dating.
The fact that you are married does not mean you should stop sending cards, gifts, flowers, going out on a date, writing poems and taking time to tell each other you love each other.
It is not compulsory to buy expensive things, what matters is thoughtfulness.
Investing in your relationship should be non negotiable.
Never Stop dating each other / find time for fun
Couples that still have fun and make each other laugh have some of the strongest bonds.
Let go, be silly, try new things, revisit old things, and most importantly have fun; your relationship will be the better for it.
Even if it’s just something as simple as playing games together.
One of the most beneficial real relationship goals to nurture is to make a date night and stick to it.
Make your marriage a model
Couples should model the kind of marriage that will make their sons/daughters want to grow up to be good husbands and wife as well.
Unhealthy marriages bring about toxic and violent children, as the foundation laid by such parents set bad precedence for the children, and they may grow up emulating unpleasant behaviours.
Be on the same page with discipline
Having same values and morals will help you bring up children and have unified front when it comes to discipline, it will also help to take appropriate decisions together as regards the children upbringing.
However, don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids, else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.
Speak only positive and good things about each other
Words are very powerful.
Couples who choose to continually speak positive and uplifting words to one another have healthier marriages.
If you want your husband/wife to love and take care of you for a lifetime, invest in speaking good things about one another. Compare your relationship to a bank account. The more positive deposits you make, the more valuable your account.
Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them on social media. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.
Grow together
Marriage isn’t a dream killer. It is important to grow as an individual and as a couple.
An awesome way to keep expanding and challenging each other in a positive way is to make a commitment to learn new skills and knowledge together. The marriage goal of lifetime learning keeps one’s intellect sharp and interests fresh.
That someone is married to you shouldn’t hinder him/her from fulfilling potentials, rather it is imperative for spouses to support each other’s dream, help each other grow and attain greater heights.
Help each other with chores
Don’t take each other for granted, or take the advantage of each other. Go out of your way to actively and consciously do, little and big deeds for each other.
Some spouses are fond of delegating all the house chores to one person. Be kind and lend a helping hand, learn new skills to ease the burden of your partner at home.
Set what you want in your life and marriage
Set your goals firm. Do not back off or let anyone interfere with your relationship. Whether it is your friends or relatives, do not let anyone make you compromise your goals, beliefs, or values.
Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage. If you want to complement each other, do not hang around those who do not appreciate their spouse.
Detest violence and Abuse
Violence is never the best approach to solve any issue. Respect and love each other enough that you dare not raise hands on your spouse.
Emotional, verbal and physical abuse can lead to divorce.
If couples decide to make each other happy, resolve issues amicably, then there is likelihood there won’t be violence, because nobody wants to stay in love with anyone who constantly abuse them by making their life miserable.
Choose to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other
Love is a commitment and not a feeling.
Sometimes things are better, and sometimes they are worse, but the ability to enjoy the good and endure the bad is a true sign of strength.
Seek to forgive and be forgiven.
In conclusion, there is no perfect marriage. Happy and lasting marriages happen for imperfect couples who have chosen to see beyond each other’s imperfection, acknowledging that their spouse is the perfect one for them.
Do not compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s, but learn from other marriages and be open to improving your home. Remember to share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.
