If you’re looking for an article on how Mothers-in-law ruin marriages, you’re at the right blog.
It is common knowledge that mothers-in-law have a way of overstepping their boundaries without realizing what they are doing.
What they are not aware of is the fact that they can ruin any good marriage.
I know what you are thinking.
Why would I want to read a blog about how my mother-in-law is ruining my marriage?
Let me explain why this can save marriages.
Marriage is hard enough as it is.
There are so many things that mothers-in-law do to ruin marriages.
Yes, they’re just trying to help, but that’s not always the best option.
How can your mother-in-law ruin your marriage?
This is common question most of the wives ask, before their marriage as well as after their marriage.
Tens and thousands of women get conformed that their partners mother is the main reason for destruction of their relationship in most cases.
You probably know someone who is in a toxic relationship because of their mother-in-law.
Everyone either has a story, knows someone who has had a bad experience, or has always wanted to write about his/her mother in law issues.
It happens all the time, very often than you would imagine.
What is there to be said about such an obvious syndrome that leads logically to the conclusion that mother-in-laws are the worst choice for any woman?
There are a number of problems that could arise in a marriage.
How the problem is handled can make or break the marriage.
The marriage of a man and woman especially one that has been going on for years will have certain issues that arise from it.
This article highlights some of the ways how mothers-in-law ruin marriages by stepping into the lives of a young couple after they are married, interfering in their affairs, trying to control their lives and other issues.
Whether it is her fault or not, the fact of the matter is that she is destroying the marriage.
It isn’t one or two isolated incidences that come to mind immediately.
Rather, it is a series of continuous things that she has done and continues to do.
Furthermore, most of these things are things that she just shouldn’t have to do.
There are certain things no mother-in-law should fix for her son, particularly when his wife can take care of them (and even better: if wife was present at the time of the incident and could have steered him clear from making a poor decision).
Mothers are possessive and they find it difficult to let go of their sons.
Even though they know that their son has grown up, they still cannot accept that he belongs to someone else now.
The daughter-in-law is always compared with the mother and she finds it hard to fit in.
A married couple should be left alone to sort out their issues on their own.
But mothers tend to meddle in the affairs of their sons even after marriage and this only makes things worse for them.
If a mother does not want her son’s marriage to break down, she should stay away from his marital issues.
Outlined below are some ways in which mothers-in-law ruin marriages
How Mothers-in-law Ruin Marriages
1. They Give Their Opinion On Everything
Mothers-in-law are seen as the most opinionated people when it comes to a daughter-in-law’s life.
Right from her dress sense to the way she cooks, they have an opinion about everything.
This often leads to problems and differences between the couple.
It is necessary for them to understand that their son is now married and has a wife who would also want her freedom and respect in the house.
2. They Do Not Approve Of The Wife’s Family
Mothers-in-law usually do not like or approve of their daughter-in-law’s family members.
They consider them low class or uncultured which leads to many fights and arguments between both sides of families and also between the couple.
3. Your In-laws Use Guilt As A Form Of Control
In response to your actions, big or small, your in-laws react with guilt trips and emotional manipulation.
The real problem is that they’re victims of it themselves.
Their parents were probably guilty of this too, and so they grew up feeling helpless and resentful.
They don’t know how to behave in any other way, because they simply don’t know another way; they’re trapped in a pattern they learned from their own parents and grandparents.
4. They Always Want To Be Right
Your mother-in-law is used to being right about her son (and maybe even you).
You’re a part of her family now, and she thinks that means she can weigh in on everything from how you run your household to how you raise your children.
Remember that it’s not just her opinion; it’s also yours and your spouse’s.
If you feel like you should be the one making the final call at home, listen to yourself.
5. Mother Presents Herself As Being Better Than The Daughter-in-law, In Every Way Possible
This is the worst mistake that a mother could make.
She must never act better than her daughter-in-law, because this will cause problems in the marriage and resentment on the part of the daughter-in-law towards her mother-in-law.
Mothers who constantly compare themselves to their daughters-in-law are essentially trying to compete with them for their son’s attention, affection and love.
This is unhealthy for all parties involved and will destroy the marriage.
6. Mother Refuses To Help With Household Chores Or Grandchildren
Some mothers think that if they help out with household chores or take care of their grandchildren, that they’re taking away from their daughters-in-law’s duty as a wife and mother.
A mother’s love for her son is intense and selfless, but it can become possessive when he marries.
She may feel that your marriage has drawn a wedge between the two of you and made him less accessible to her.
Your mother-in-law may also have expected to be more involved in raising any grandchildren than she actually is; this is a common source of conflict between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.
7. Your Husband Tells Her Everything
If your husband has a close relationship with his mother and talks with her often, he will inevitably tell her things that you said in confidence.
And even if he doesn’t tell her everything, she may still find out about your private business through friends, relatives or neighbors who report back to her.
You may feel betrayed by this invasion of privacy or by your husband’s decision to share private information about
8. They Invade Your Privacy
Some mothers-in-law want to know every little detail about their daughter-in-law’s life.
They want to know what she ate, how often she flosses, who her friends and enemies are, whether or not she is menstruating and so on.
These things are an invasion of privacy and should not be discussed even with close family members.
The relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law can be a roller coaster, with lots of ups and downs.
However, it is possible to have an amicable and positive relationship.
Here are some tips that could help you avoid mother-in-law conflicts:
1. Be polite and respectful
Even if it’s not reciprocated, you can’t go wrong by being polite and respectful to your mother-in-law.
2. Set boundaries
Define what you’re comfortable with sharing and ask your partner to help set expectations with his mother.
3. Understand her role in her son’s life
She has likely been there for him through every major life event — from his first steps to getting his driver’s license — and will always be his biggest fan and supporter.
Mothers-in-law have a bad reputation, but the stereotype is undeserved.
Mothers are often blamed for their daughter-in-law’s unhappiness, when the real cause is their son.
A mother has no control over her son after he marries.
Her only power is through words of advice and encouragement.
It is also her duty to love her daughter-in-law as she loves her son.