Why Don’t Guys Approach Me?: 8 Reasons Why

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Have you been wondering or asking yourself, ”Why don’t guys approach me?”

To be desired and sought after by the opposite sex can be delightful and soothing to self-esteem.

The reverse can be the case if you feel invisible to the male folk.

While it is pleasing to be wanted, it should never be the source of your self-respect.

You should always regard yourself in high esteem, no matter your ”suitor” situation with the male folk.

You are a person, not a commodity.

It is a fundamental human need to feel wanted and desired, so don’t feel weird or out of place for wondering why guys are not approaching you.

It is only natural to be curious.

This article attempts to explain a number of the possible reasons that you have been experiencing a dearth of suitors.

WHY DON’T GUYS APPROACH ME?

1  Your attitude

why don't guys approach me

Nobody wants to hang around and associate with negativity, not even you.

If you have a bad attitude, there’s a high chance that you will not have suitors coming around you.

It is often said that a bad attitude is like a flat tyre, you are going nowhere until you change it.

Your attitude determines your altitude in life matters, especially relationships.

At any stage and in any form, our attitudes have direct effects on our relationships.

We all have our moments but, if you are negative and hostile almost all of the time, then it is who you are.

This is not to say that you should turn yourself into an overly agreeable person in order to get a partner.

Just try to rework your negativity at its core.

Having a positive attitude should be everyone’s goal in life.

A good attitude is essential for optimal and effective living.

Not only do people with positive attitudes attract suitors, but they also excel at relationships and win friends.

What do you think, can you cultivate a better attitude?

2  Your appearance

why don't guys approach me

A person’s confidence increases when their outward looks are well taken care of.

Confidence is an attractive quality in an intending lover.

People who pay attention to their appearance hardly experience a shortage of admirers and suitors.

As opposed to being vain and being obsessed about your physical appearance, it is more about how you take care of it and how it stays taken care of.

Try to look your best most of the time. Tidy up. Look orderly. Clean up nice. Put your best foot forward.

It is true that it is what is inside that counts, but it is the outside that is seen first.

You are first seen physically before you are seen mentally. So, why not take care of the container that carries the content.

Look about you and see what you can move around to spruce things up.

Are there things you can improve, do better, do less or more of, totally do away with or start doing?

3  Your demeanor

The manner in which you behave towards others can either put them off or draw them in, and this is not about suitors alone.

Most intending partners judge the way you interact with others before they decide whether to approach you or not.

Your actions, your behavior, and the manners in which you address situations all say a lot about who you are.

You should always be yourself but, keep in mind that good manners will never be out of fashion.

Treat people with respect. Be kind and polite. Comport yourself in every situation.

Don’t complain about not being approached if you appear unapproachable. 

4  Intellect

It is up to you to sharpen and develop your mental capacity. Smarten yourself up.

Not just to favor you in the suitor situation, but because it is necessary for life and living effectively and optimally.

Senses and smarts make you more attractive. Smart girls are never wanton of male attention.

It is not about your indigenous intelligence quotient, but expanding your mind through knowledge and consciously developing your brainpower.

Consider sprucing things up in the mental department and watch your confidence in relationships increase.

Do endeavor to be more profound than you currently are by developing some habits of intelligent women.

5  Confidence quotient

Most of the conflicts in relationships arise as a result of a deficiency in people’s self-confidence.

Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in an individual.

It is the most appealing outfit anyone can wear.

Your self-confidence plays a huge role in guys approaching you.

Some people are naturally confident, others have to work at it.

Confidence is being certain of yourself, your abilities. who you are and what you have to offer.

When you are certain in yourself and of yourself, you find it easier to relate with others.

Your relationships flourish and move with less friction.

6  Personality

It is a natural and universal law that no one chooses their personality. Our personalities chose us.

You should accept yourself the way you met yourself, but you should not leave yourself the way you met yourself, especially if there exist undesirable traits in your person.

Your personality refers to the distinguishing and distinctive characteristics that set you apart and make you unique as a person, your typical behavior, your entire selfhood, and your individuality.

Basically, who you are as a person.

Now take an estimate of your person, would you want to date you?

When it comes to intimacy, relationships, and dating, it is not only about getting someone or having someone, it is also about being someone a partner would like to have.

We often lose sight of this fact and it is why we have so many broken relationships today.

Are there ways you can make changes to your temperament?

We love to affirm that we are perfect the way we are. Yes, we are, but we should work on our flaws, especially those ones that serve as impediments to our relationships.

This is not about being a pushover and becoming overly agreeable without personal opinions, but about being a more pleasant person.

Trust that if you go inwards, you will come up with ways to make amends.

Don’t do a total overhaul of your person in order to get a boyfriend.

Be smart and wise about it.

7. It’s Not You

Sometimes, guys don’t approach you because they’re scared of getting rejected.

They think that if they do, then the girl will see them as less attractive and it’ll cause more problems than just letting her walk by.

The truth is guys are so used to being turned down for this reason that some have given up on asking any woman out at all.

It’s not personal, but rather a fear-based decision made in their brain before they even speak to you.

So, it’s not about you.

It’s not because they don’t find your cute or unattractive.

Some guys are even shy to approach women. 

8. They Are Not Your Type/You Are Not Their Type

Sometimes, it can be hard to understand why guys don’t approach you.

After all, the world is your oyster and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

But as much as we want to believe that men should approach us because they’re attracted to our beauty, sometimes the truth isn’t so pretty.

The reality might just be that these guys aren’t actually interested in dating someone like you – or maybe they think they have no chance with you and decide not to bother at all.


If you have played your part by working on the qualities explained above, all you have to do is be confident in your worthiness while you await your kind of man.

Secondly, if you are confident, try approaching men you are interested in yourself sometimes.

You don’t have to ask them out outright if you are not up for it, but making yourself approachable and amiable is a way to go about declaring your interest and availability.

why don't guys approach me

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