Love is a beautiful thing but sometimes, as humans, we abuse love. Someone once said love is perfect but we are not perfect. The issue is that even though we are not perfect, we do not always deliberately seek to hurt someone else. Some situations are indeed extreme but some situations could simply be incompatibility or irreconcilable differences.
Whatever the case, what is clear is that love is a beautiful thing but we cannot do love with everybody and we need to be okay with that. The problem starts when we refuse to let go or we simply do not recognise the signs.
And this is what I am here for; to show you the signs that indicate when to leave a relationship.
You are not happy
The first sign you really need to leave a relationship is that you are unhappy. What is the point of a relationship when you are not happy?
As mentioned earlier, love is a beautiful thing and when you are in love, you feel fulfilled, almost invisible; it is a very joyful feeling.
If all you feel when you think about your relationship is unhappiness, then it just might be time to count your losses.
You are never happy to see your partner
Similar to the above, your partner ideally should be one of the people that make you happy. Thinking of them alone should make you smile and you should definitely want to be around them.
If you are not feeling this way, then you just might be in a wrong relationship. If you are never looking forward to seeing your partner or happy to see them, something is definitely wrong.
The relationship is not adding to you but taking from you
A relationship is supposed to add value and virtue to you. If your relationship is not doing that and is instead draining you, you should know you are not in the best environment for you.
The relationship is toxic and abusive
A healthy relationship is not toxic or abusive. It is fulfilling, satisfying, inspiring. Any place where you feel less of yourself is not good for you. A relationship where you are both hurting each other and not interested in making things work is not worth keeping.
Your partner is no longer interested
This is a clear sign that you need to leave where you are unwanted to a place where you are wanted. It takes two to tango and the truth is that you alone cannot make the relationship between two people work.
The other person has to want the same thing you do; if not, then you should start planning your exit.
You have grown apart
Sometimes, people unintentionally drift apart. It doesn’t mean that they deliberately want to hurt their partner; it just means that they have changed. If both of you no longer want the same things as a result of both or one person changing, then you need to sit each other down and have an honest conversation.
Lies and deception
A healthy relationship is one built on honesty. A relationship that was built on lies and deception cannot even stand the test of time as it wasn’t started on the right reasons.
But even if the lies and deception started later on in the relationship, it may just mean it is time to leave.
It is easier to forgive and move on from one-time incidence of unfaithfulness where maybe both parties – or not – contributed to. But a perpetual cheat is harmful to any relationship. It is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.
You are no longer yourself
A relationship where you have to change your personality to fit into your partner’s idea of how a person should be is not a healthy relationship.
It is very normal and even advisable to always improve and become better versions of ourselves but that is the point; better versions of ourselves and not somebody else.
Whoever wants to be with you should love and enjoy who you are as a person; they should encourage and inspire you to be better but should never try to mold you into somebody else. A situation like that is not healthy for anybody.
Your values are different
In the first place, people should not go into a relationship with someone whose core values do not align with them. But we all know what we should do is different from what we do sometimes.
If you find yourself in a relationship where you have conflicting core values, it might be the best thing to let each other go.
You put in everything while your partner does nothing
Both parties have to put in the work; sacrifices, compromises, romance to make a relationship work. if you are the only one who is constantly doing everything while your partner does nothing, it is only a matter of time before you get drained. You shouldn’t accept a relationship where this is normal.
You are in the relationship for the wrong reasons
Sometimes, we start relationships for all the wrong reasons; being in love with the idea of love, money, neediness, fear of being alone, pity, gratitude and so many other wrong reasons.
We should be in love because we love someone and want to do life with them. If that is not the case, then it is a sign that indicates when to leave a relationship.
It is important to note that some of these points, in isolation, are not enough reason to break off a relationship. Some of them take having a sit down with your partner to talk about the way forward.
If both of you are willing to put in the work and ready to make an adjustment, the relationship might be salvageable. However, if you experience more than three of the points together or both (or one) of you is not ready to make it work, it simply means this the time to leave the relationship.
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