When Men Are Starved of Affection, They Do These 8 Things

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Let’s start with the elephant in the room: men do have and feel emotions. 

They want and crave affection just as women do. 

That means, they notice when it’s withdrawn or when it’s lacking. 

I used to think all those online videos where women test their men by not saying, “I love you” back, and they came back to hear it was all an act, until I met my man. 

At the beginning stage of our relationship, we used to have this issue when I sometimes didn’t say it back.

While he doesn’t insist on it like the videos I’ve seen, his mood changes anytime I don’t. 

And one time, he told me how it hurt him when I didn’t say it back. 

To be honest, sometimes I was just absent-minded, and at other times, I didn’t think it was necessary to say it every time. 

But after that conversation, I changed, realizing that he actually never misses telling me he loves me. 

The least I could do is reciprocate.

I say that to say when affection is not forthcoming, a man can be starved of it. 

Let’s look at some of the things he is likely to do when he is, so you can quickly identify and address the issue.

When Men Are Starved of Affection, They Do These 8 Things

1. They become emotionally withdrawn

This is my man to the tee. 

Remember how I said his mood changes anytime I don’t say, “I love you, too”? Yeah, he used to seem withdrawn for a while before he gets over it.

While I noticed his mood, I didn’t know it was because of what I did until I asked him about it. 

I’m thankful I had the sense to ask him about it because he didn’t want to mention it for fear of doing too much. 

Because, like he said, while he wanted it, he knew I wasn’t doing it intentionally.

But imagine if we had gone on like that, it would have gotten to a point where he would have felt starved and pulled back completely.

I say that to say, some men may pull back emotionally when they don’t get the affection they want. 

And the truth is that it’s not always intentional; it’s just his way of protecting himself from feeling rejected. 

We are not always logical when we want to protect ourselves emotionally. 

So, a man is likely to do that and withdraw. 

Most likely, he will share less about his day and his struggles, or even the little details he used to tell you. 

And you will notice that your conversations start to feel shallow, and the emotional closeness you once had will start fading. 

It’s because he gradually withdrew and doesn’t feel as close to you anymore.

2. They seek validation outside the relationship

As sad as it is, when affection is missing at home, men sometimes go looking for it elsewhere. 

Of course, that doesn’t straight up mean cheating, but some might call it emotional cheating. 

The reason I’m not saying it is cheating is that there has to be a level of attachment for us to call it emotional cheating. 

However, let’s not bicker over that. 

Whatever the case, when a man is emotionally starved, he might start craving compliments from friends, attention on social media, or even extra friendliness at work. 

We all want to be loved, let’s be honest. 

So, he basically wants to feel wanted and appreciated. 

And if he doesn’t get it from his partner, he may seek it from other places. 

Of course, if care is not taken, it can lead to emotional and physical cheating. 

3. They show irritability or anger more often

A lack of affection can make some men edgy. 

Since men are different, some might handle it softly, while others will become irritable. 

You will find that suddenly, little things that never used to bother him will set him off. 

Trust me, he’s not really annoyed by the lights on in the unused bathroom or the dishes in the sink. 

He is just transferring aggression because he feels unloved or unimportant. 

That frustration from lacking affection has built up and is now leaking out as irritability or short tempers. 

What he’s really longing for isn’t conflict, but closeness. 

Unfortunately, he is using anger to mask the hurt he doesn’t know how to express.

4. They spend more time away from home

Another thing that happens when affection is lacking is that the man begins to stay away from home because it no longer feels like a warm and safe place like it used to. 

So, he might start staying out late, taking on extra hours at work, or suddenly developing new hobbies that keep him away. 

He’s trying to distract himself from the loneliness he feels around you, now that the connection is gone. 

And since many men seem to be avoidant, don’t be surprised that the less affection he gets, the more he looks for spaces where he feels lighter or more appreciated.

5. They become unusually quiet around you

It doesn’t apply, of course, if your man is naturally quiet. 

But I have found that even quiet guys become a little chatty when they get comfortable with their girl. 

But let’s not get rigid and assume everybody will be the same. 

If your guy wasn’t initially quiet and he grows silent, that silence speaks volumes. 

He’s likely showing you that he feels disconnected. 

If he felt connected to you, he’d have so much to say. 

The reason he doesn’t is that he doesn’t feel valued enough to share his thoughts with you. 

6. They may flirt or show interest in other women

This one stings, I know, but it happens; so we might as well speak about it. 

I know that in explaining the point about seeking external validation, I said I wouldn’t call it cheating. 

But in this case, it might as well be because it’s disrespectful. 

However, like I said, it happens. 

When a man feels starved of affection, he might start showing interest in other women who give him the attention he craves. 

Although I can’t categorically say it’s not cheating, I can admit that he might not be doing it to cheat. 

He might just enjoy the attention, and so he will flirt with other women to give him a temporary ego boost. 

It’s because he enjoys being noticed, admired, and desired, since they seem to be missing in his relationship. 

While it’s wrong, it’s really because he is trying to fill the void of affection.

Again, if care is not taken, it might lead to actual cheating.

7. They lose interest in making future plans with you

People will likely be motivated to make future plans or find inspiration when they feel a connection to their partner. 

So, when your man doesn’t feel connected to you, naturally, he won’t feel any need to think about the future. 

You will find that he starts pulling back from thinking long-term with you. 

He will no longer talk about vacations, buying a house, or even small things like weekend plans. 

Instead, he will live in the “now,” because honestly, that’s all he knows or is sure of. 

8. They might become clingy and needy

Not all men pull back when affection is missing; some actually lean in harder. 

He might start asking for more of your time, demanding reassurance, or constantly seeking your attention. 

When a man does this, he is probably getting desperate and crying for help. 

He’s craving closeness, so he clings to whatever scraps of affection he can get from you. 

Sadly, this can further push a partner away, because it can get suffocating.

But it’s just his way of crying for help.