I love reality TV, especially those shows centered on love like Love Is Blind.
Maybe because I am a lovergirl, lol.
Or, it’s just that seeing human connection in real-time is both fascinating and entertaining.
Now, of course, they also come with a lot of drama that I particularly don’t enjoy.
But then again, we are dealing with humans, so it’s expected.
However, away from the drama, we have had some genuine couples come out of the shows, and some are still married today.
Now, while the premise of Love Is Blind is dating to marriage, it still amazes how that is working for some; by the way, others, like Love Island, are not straight to marriage.
I recently followed and watched some episodes of Love Island USA, and one prevalent conversation is how the couples are being pressured into an official relationship.
It’s almost as if people forget that, although it’s a show, the couples really just met each other.
So, taking it slow and getting to know each other is not out of place.
In fact, it’s the wise thing to do.
When you meet someone, jumping straight into a relationship might not be the best thing for you.
You need to know each other, what you are about, and if your values match.
So, if you are with me and want to learn to take things slow in a relationship, follow along.
How To Take Things Slow in a Relationship
1. Communicate your intentions clearly
One of the best ways to take things slow in a relationship is to be upfront about it.
The truth is that not everybody wants or agrees with taking things slow.
Plus, “slow” is sometimes subjective; my definition of slow might differ from yours.
So, don’t assume the other person knows; you’ve got to say it and explain what you mean by “slow”.
Let them know from the start that you’re looking to build something steady without rushing, so they can decide if that’s what they also want.
This saves you both from contrasting expectations and unnecessary confusion.
It also shows you as someone who is intentional about your life.
A genuine person will find that attractive; they will appreciate the honesty.
And if you’re on the same page, it makes things easy; you get to enjoy the process without worrying about moving too fast.
2. Set healthy boundaries
At the end of the day, words don’t mean anything if they are not backed by actions.
So, even if you say you want to keep things slow, your actions are what will determine if you’re actually serious about it.
For instance, how can you say you’re keeping things slow when you spend the weekend in each other’s houses?
Isn’t that sending mixed signals already?
So, after talking about it, you need to set boundaries to make sure the relationship moves at your pace.
Now, I don’t want to dictate what that would mean for you.
But I don’t believe being around someone 24/7 or saying yes to everything just to please them is taking things slow.
However, as I mentioned earlier, our definitions may differ, so I will refrain from imposing mine.
The main thing is to do what you’re comfortable doing, and based on the pace you want to take.
For example, if you’re not comfortable spending the night yet, or you’d rather not text all day, that’s totally fine.
Let them know that and back it by actions as well.
The good thing is that the right person will respect your boundaries, not push against them.
So, that’s a good way to filter who’s there for the long run and who’s there for a good time.
3. Avoid rushing physical intimacy
I understand that the temptation is real when the physical chemistry is intense.
But if your goal is to slow things down, don’t feel pressured to rush intimacy.
It’s always better to take the time to truly connect emotionally before getting physical.
The reason is that sex has a way of muddying things up.
On the one hand, if it’s too good, it might deceive you into thinking the person is right for you even when they aren’t.
And if it isn’t that good, it can make you give up on someone for a reason that can be worked on.
I believe you can learn to get it right in bed as long as you are both teachable and ready to know what makes the other tick.
On the other hand, an excellent bed partner might be toxic in different ways.
To keep your mind clear and make the right, logical decision, it’s better to wait before diving into bed.
4. Focus on friendship first
As I always say, marriage or a romantic relationship is a union of two people who give each other butterflies and are physically attracted to one another.
And what I have found is that it is always better to have the former in the mix because the latter, without the former, often doesn’t stand.
So, you’ve seen a girl or guy and you immediately feel physical attraction; now you need to be sure that friendship is there too.
And this is one reason to take things slow so that you can check that.
It’s also why you should hold off on sex, so you can see if you like being with each other outside of the bedroom.
Spend this time to genuinely enjoy each other’s company, without all the pressure of romance.
Get to know each other, laugh together, share hobbies, hang out in casual settings, and be yourselves.
When you focus on being friends first, you naturally build trust and understanding before moving on to a more profound commitment.
Additionally, it eliminates the need to constantly perform in the relationship.
You get the chance to know who each other is genuinely and grow from there.
5. Don’t rush into labels or titles
This is also something I’ve observed to be prevalent in the Love Island world, and I believe it reflects the current dating scene.
People are quick to ask, “So what are we?”
The truth is that I think you should have a conversation to ensure you’re both on the same page about commitment.
Not because you want to commit now, but to ensure you are both heading in the same direction.
Let me explain why that’s important.
Some people look for relationships for casual reasons; they don’t want anything serious.
They don’t mind being in a relationship, but they prefer a casual approach.
Some other people are dating to get married.
If these two sets of people get together and don’t have that conversation early on, they would have wasted each other’s time.
Knowing what they want at the beginning is vital, but that doesn’t mean you have to achieve it immediately.
Don’t be pressured to slap on a label on it too soon; you don’t have to define it after the first couple of dates.
Give yourselves the breathing room to enjoy each other’s presence without the pressure of titles.
Then, when you are both ready, it will naturally flow into what it’s meant to be.
6. Give each other space for personal time
Taking things slow also means remembering that you had a life before this relationship, and so did they.
It’s very important and paramount to continue doing the things you love, spending time with friends, and taking care of your personal time.
Clinging too tightly in the beginning can overwhelm you both when it shouldn’t.
Plus, space gives you both room to miss each other, which honestly makes the time you spend together even sweeter.
7. Avoid planning too far into the future too soon
It’s exciting when you meet someone you really like; you want to imagine vacations, dream of a wedding, or even have kids.
But if you’re serious about taking it slow, rein in the long-term planning for now.
Now, I’m not saying you can’t have hopes, or like I said earlier, communicate what you expect out of the relationship.
What I’m saying is that you should focus on the present instead of mapping out the next five years after a few weeks of dating.
Early on, take the opportunity to learn about each other and share small experiences.
Keep it light and let things build naturally.
That way, when you eventually plan a future together, you know it’s grounded in real connection, and not just infatuation.
8. Let the relationship develop naturally
Ultimately, taking things slow means going with the natural flow.
Don’t try to control every little detail or rush milestones just because you think you should be at a certain point by now.
Relationships don’t have to come with a strict timeline, so stop comparing yours to everyone else’s.
Trust the process and allow your bond to unfold naturally.
If it’s meant to grow, it will, without pressure and without you manipulating things to work out the way you envisioned.
Personally, I feel like that even assures you that the relationship was meant to be.