This topic is close to home for me because I was in a long-distance relationship once.
And I’m not speaking between cities, but continents, so it took a lot for me to agree to do it.
At first, I was sceptical about it because I couldn’t imagine how we could manage the time difference.
But I loved him too much, and so I decided to take a risk.
Oh, and by the way, we met on social media, became friends, and got to know each other through social media.
When it became clear we both wanted the same thing, he flew down to ask me to be his girlfriend.
We maintained the relationship through the phone.
Then he flew down again to propose.
We planned our wedding over the phone.
He came back for our wedding, and I joined him a few months later.
I’m sure you get where I’m going with this.
While it might not have been impossible without technology, technology definitely made it easier.
And I will always be grateful for the ease of meeting and marrying my husband.
I’m sure many more people can relate to our story because technology made their relationship work.
So, cheers to technology!
Unfortunately, we also need to look at the flip side.
Technology not only positively impacts relationships, but it also has a negative effect.
However, we don’t need to jump the gun; let’s look at them one at a time.
Positive Ways Technology Shapes Love and Marriages
Here are the different ways technology positively shapes love and marriages:
1. You’ve Got a Larger Dating Pool
Back in the day, before technology became a thing that helped us navigate dating, you could only meet people through friends, work, or, if you were lucky, at a random event.
In my parents’ time, particularly, it wasn’t easy to meet someone outside of your immediate environment.
And even in my time, as a millennial who experienced both the pre- and post-smartphone era, it wasn’t always easy to leave a particular geographical location.
Although I was quite young in the pre-smartphone era, I knew that most of us operated with letters then.
When we started liking the opposite sex as we moved to the puberty stage, we wrote letters to communicate our desire.
But even writing letters was just easier when the distance wasn’t that far.
If it were beyond continents, you would have to wait months to hear from the other person.
Besides that, you had to meet (see) someone before you could be attracted to them and communicate your interest anyway.
So, that still limited the pool.
Thankfully, now, you can literally meet someone on the other side of the world just by swiping right.
Dating apps and social media have made it easier to find people who actually match your vibe, even without seeing them physically.
If you like what you see in a picture and your vibe matches when you talk, you can love someone practically anywhere in the world.
In fact, with the Love is Blind dating show, we can see that you don’t even have to see a picture; you just need to vibe and have things in common.
So, technology has really helped us widen our horizon such that you are no longer stuck with the limited options in your neighborhood.
2. Long-Distance Isn’t as Scary Anymore
As I mentioned earlier, even with technology, I was initially scared to try long-distance.
But without technology, I’m sure I would have never considered it.
I can imagine it must have been torture for those who did.
Think about how Noah must have felt in The Notebook, sending letters that went unanswered.
Even if they were answered, I couldn’t imagine waiting months for one.
However, thanks to video calls, voice notes, and even apps that allow you to do things like watch movies together, it’s no longer as scary.
I have heard of couples who are always on FaceTime, just watching each other go about their day.
All these wouldn’t have been possible without technology.
Yes, you still miss the hugs and physical presence, but at least you can see their face every day and share little moments in real-time, which is now possible thanks to technology.
3. Staying in Touch Is Super Easy
I have already spoken extensively about how writing letters is a horror I can’t imagine – not because of the actual writing of the letters, but because of the waiting. So, let me not go into that again.
But I’m sure you can see how stressful that is in comparison to texting, calling, voice notes, FaceTime, DMs, and whatnot.
Now, couples have endless ways to stay in touch with each other.
They can share life as it’s happening, instead of waiting months to catch up.
Particularly, those random “just checking on you” texts or silly memes from your partner can make your day when you are apart.
So, I can’t imagine not having them.
4. Cute Digital Date Ideas
For me, I think the best thing technology has brought when it comes to love is how you can get creative with dates.
You don’t have to stick to dinner dates or movie dates; now you can build a playlist together, play online games, or even keep a shared album of all your favorite memories.
And if you check online, you’ll find other different ways to spice up your dates or even romance digitally.
The best part for us homebodies is that you can have all these fun bonding experiences without even leaving your couch.
Negative Ways Technology Shapes Love and Marriages
As I mentioned earlier, the positives come with the negatives. Technology has also distorted the concept of love and marriage. Let’s look at the way it does that.
5. Social Media Can Mess With Your Expectations
As social media has expanded our dating pool, it can also create unrealistic expectations in our minds about love and relationships.
Before, you didn’t need to care about how other couples lived because, besides the people close to you, you didn’t know what was going on in anybody’s life.
Now, all you have to do is scroll through Instagram or TikTok to see couples going on luxury trips, having surprise proposals, or doing matching photo shoots.
And the truth is that no matter how much we think we are not influenced, when you see something often, it starts to shape your view.
And you may start finding your realistic relationship underwhelming.
While your spouse may not be into the grand romantic gestures, they may be doing the little things that matter.
But if you don’t guide your heart, it won’t be enough.
And suddenly, you will want all the aesthetics, forgetting about the everyday effort, which social media rarely shows.
6. Phones Can Steal Attention
Technology has also tied people to screens so much that they may be sitting next to you without saying a word.
And this affects even couples.
Social media, in particular, is highly addictive.
If you’re not careful, you can be lost in it even when your partner is right beside you.
Before long, you will feel disconnected from them because you spend more time with your phone than you do with them.
So, couples need to be intentional about staying away, especially when they are together.
7. Real-Life Connection Can Be a Struggle
The more time you spend on your phone, the less in tune with the present you become.
As I mentioned earlier, you may lose connection with your partner if you spend too much time on your phone.
Yes, technology makes it easy to connect, but it can also reduce the amount of actual face-to-face time.
You may find that you’re able to text, but you struggle with real-life communication.
And that even transcends love; it can affect you in other areas of life.
8. Cheating Got Easier
Sadly, tech has made sneaky behavior way too easy.
With secret chats, fake profiles, or emotional affairs that start with “just friends” in the DMs, it’s all more accessible now.
In the same way, you have a larger dating pool now, you also have a larger pool to cheat with.
It’s now very easy to meet someone else, cheat, and cover your tracks.
However, at the end of the day, whether technology is good or bad boils down to choices and commitment.
If you want to use it only positively, you can refuse to let it influence you into making wrong choices.