Breakups are painful; it is just as simple as that. Sometimes, we try to hide and pretend to be all strong but when we are committed to someone and planning to be with them forever and suddenly, they separate from us, it is normal to feel like the whole world has come crashing down.
However, no matter how painful it is, we cannot forever remain in it. We have to move on and get on with life. As we have already established, breakups are painful. So we are going to need strategies to deal with a painful breakup like a boss.
Ways to Deal with a Painful Breakup Like a Boss
Accept the breakup and allow yourself to feel the pain
Sometimes, when we break up, we don’t immediately accept it. Many people have a knack to start giving excuses when they don’t want to let go of a relationship. Your first step is not to be in denial but to accept that it has happened. The next thing after accepting is to allow yourself to feel the pain.
Psychologists will tell you that holding pain in and not properly grieving is not a good way to handle pain because you will not be able to heal if you don’t properly grieve. Don’t feel ashamed about expressing your pain, express it, get vulnerable, this is a great way to get over the breakup.
Talk it out with loved ones
In this age where we are all social media savvy and share our thoughts with a bunch of people we don’t know physically, you might be tempted to think about going straight to social media to pour out your frustration. But what you need is to talk to people who love you and know you. You need people who can not only empathize with you but can also be realistic, so they can help you gather your own thoughts and help you see other perspectives.
Cut all ties
It is very normal to want to follow up with your ex’s life and see if they are in love with another person and maybe confirm that they are feeling as shitty as you are feeling, so you can feel better about yourself. Sometimes also, when people want to break up with you, they might drop the clichéd “we can still be friends” line. I say if the breakup is painful, you should stay away from them. You will never properly move on if you are still in their life.
Avoid self-blame
Another trap most people fall into is blaming themselves for the breakup. If your ex told you it was your fault they are leaving, try as much as you can not to dwell on them. Breakups happen even to the best of us, so it is not your fault. Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn from mistakes that you feel you might have made but don’t sit wallowing in blame and pity.
Give yourself time to heal
Healing takes time, it doesn’t happen overnight. I know, we all want it to but it doesn’t. So don’t beat yourself up if you feel down once in a while or you feel like crying sometimes. Give it time, you will get over them. Don’t be so shocked if you are not over them sooner and don’t pressure yourself to. Allow it to happen naturally. As far as you are not deliberately feeding it by stalking them, refusing to move on, then it is just a matter of time before you find yourself remembering them without so much pain or bitterness.
Don’t jump into a relationship immediately
Rebound relationships are not good for you or the other person you get into a relationship with. Give yourself time to heal properly before you start another relationship. You need to be sure the next relationship is for the right reasons and not to spite your ex and also you should be starting a new relationship with a clean slate and new perspective without dragging baggage from the past to the present.
Hang out with friends and family
One of the greatest ways to get over pain is to surround ourselves with people who love us. If you had been bashed and abused in the relationship, seeing how much you are loved by certain people will help you see how wrong your ex is and how worthy of love you are with the right person.
Discover and improve on yourself
This is the time to do all the things you wanted to do but couldn’t do because you were busy in a relationship. This is a great time to travel, read, make friends, learn new things, break grounds. Engage yourself in positive things and watch yourself glow.
Another great way to get over a breakup is to remember that sometimes, a breakup is the best thing that could ever happen to us. Maybe the person was toxic or the relationship was not the best thing for you or you and the person are just not compatible. Whatever reason it is, remember that you could be moving from the worst time to the best time of your life.