Personally, I don’t like it when victims are being blamed for the actions of their partner.
You know, when people say things like, “Didn’t they know who this person was before they got with the person?”
Yeah, I dislike that statement, especially when it’s being made about a random person or celebrity whose life you don’t know much about.
The reason I dislike it is that I strongly believe people can pretend and also change.
So, someone can start sweet and turn into somebody else later.
On the other hand, we can’t deny the truth of the statement.
We have seen people we know, as well as celebrities, get involved with individuals whose track record is terrible.
Like, we all know this person is shitty, so yes, in this instance, the question is valid.
Why are you getting with them?
I say that to say, there are certain signs that a woman would display in courtship that should automatically let you know she will make a bad wife.
And you need to know those signs, so you can watch out for them and save yourself a lifetime of heartache.
That said, let’s look at them.
Women Who Make Bad Wives Always Do These 8 Things During Courtship
1. They are excessively materialistic
This one is tricky, not because it should be, but because it might not be easy to figure out if you are a man who strongly believes you are the provider.
So, you might see it as you simply fulfilling your duty as a man.
Now, hear me out; I’m not saying you should shed your provider’s mindset at all.
But you also need to be able to figure out when someone is taking advantage of that or when someone is excessively materialistic.
One way to know is when a woman is only interested in what you can buy for her.
Such a woman will likely constantly demand expensive gifts or complain that you’re not doing enough.
And most importantly, she won’t even care how you make the money to afford what she wants.
A woman who cares about you will also care about you having a financial plan for the future.
She won’t drain your funds but actually advise you on ways to save and increase your income.
Additionally, she will also give because love gives.
So, if you notice you are always giving and getting nothing in return, don’t be fooled into thinking it’s harmless.
If her love is tied to material things now, it will continue like that in marriage.
A partner who values money more than c will never bring you peace.
So, it might be better to save yourself now.
2. They disrespect you in private or public
There is something about public disrespect that irks, so people often don’t struggle to recognize it.
However, private disrespect is equally wrong, even though we sometimes excuse it.
It shows that the relationship is not founded on the right things.
So, if during courtship they dismiss you, belittle your opinions, or embarrass you in front of others, take note.
That behavior won’t suddenly vanish after marriage.
In fact, it’s likely to get worse.
A person who can’t respect you when you’re courting won’t suddenly start treating you with honor once you’re married.
And if you ignore it now, you’ll find yourself constantly drained by someone who talks down on you.
3. They lack empathy
You can tell a lot about someone by how they respond when you’re vulnerable.
Or even when others are vulnerable.
Here’s a quick trick to figuring people out – don’t just check their behavior towards you, check their behavior towards others as well.
The truth is that they may indeed have romantic feelings for you, and that would genuinely keep them in check.
They might not even be intentionally pretending.
It’s just that when we like someone, we naturally put our best foot forward because we want to impress them.
But as you grow in the relationship or marriage, that giddy love begins to shift into a more stable and committed love.
That’s when people need to decide to be committed to each other.
And that’s when people’s actual character shows up.
If you’re dealing with a naturally kind person, that’s what you will get at this stage.
But if they are unkind, then you can’t get fresh water out of a dirty spring.
So, watch out for their empathy level with you, but more importantly, with others.
How do they react when anybody shares their struggles, or even when you come across a sad story?
Do they dismiss you or brush it off like it’s nothing?
Or does it touch them?
Of course, if they do that with you, you’ve gotten your answer.
And trust me, you don’t want an unfeeling marriage where your needs are overlooked.
Everyone wants a partner who listens and genuinely cares when things get tough.
If you can’t count on them to show kindness now, marriage won’t magically fix it.
4. They avoid accountability
Pay close attention during disagreements.
Does she always twist things back on you?
Does she refuse to apologize or admit when she’s wrong?
That means she lacks or avoids accountability.
And you don’t want to be married to someone who is never at fault.
That behavior will exhaust you because you’ll end up carrying the blame for everything.
Nobody is infallible, so it is impossible that one person is always wrong while the other is always right in a relationship.
That’s why a healthy relationship requires humility and each person’s ability to own their mistakes.
Without that, you’ll end up frustrated and unheard.
5. They are controlling
Love should make you feel free, not trapped.
Therefore, your woman should not constantly dictate what you do, where you go, and who you talk to.
Now, I’m not saying she can’t have an input in your life; that’s another extreme.
For instance, if she thinks someone is a bad friend, she has the right to raise the issue.
However, she should still respect your decision and boundaries.
If she is always trying to force your hand to do what she wants, you are leaving the boundaries of care to control.
People who are controlling may look like they’re being protective at first, but control is about power, not care.
A controlling partner doesn’t trust you and will always want the final say.
And trust me, such behavior will suffocate you in marriage because you’ll have no room to be yourself.
6. They are overly secretive
Everyone deserves a little privacy, but there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy.
It’s not normal for your partner to constantly hide their phone, dodge questions, or be vague about important details.
Plus, if they won’t let you in now, what makes you think they will open up to you later?
You’ll likely always be left in the dark, questioning their motives and all that.
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to subject myself to such long-term torture.
7. They constantly compare you to other men
You are unique and your own person, and your partner should know that.
They shouldn’t be subjecting you to constant comparison with other men.
So, if your woman is always pointing out what other men have or do better, it’s a sign you are dealing with a woman who lacks contentment or one who hasn’t made up her mind to be with you.
Either way, it’s not a healthy situation to be in.
I know you might want to use it as motivation to step up, but the truth is that you will never be enough for someone who always wants more.
In fact, that dissatisfaction may be from within them, and they’re projecting that to you.
But even if they weren’t, it shows they don’t appreciate you for who you are.
A loving partner celebrates you; they don’t make you feel like you are in constant competition.
So, if you feel like you’ll never measure up now, imagine how exhausting it will be years down the road.
8. They are selfish
Marriage thrives on sacrifice and compromise.
If, during courtship, she always puts her own needs above yours, that’s what she will do in marriage.
So watch out if your partner never considers your feelings when making decisions, or they expect you to adjust but never do the same.
That selfishness will likely continue and may even grow in marriage.
You’ll find yourself giving and giving, while she takes and takes.
Relationships can’t survive on one-sided effort.
So, if you’re already noticing the imbalance while dating, it’s a sign of what’s to come.