What is the worst thing a husband can say to his wife?
Many wives have been deeply wounded by careless words spoken by their husbands.
To be clear, these are not necessarily things you should never say to your wife once, but rather, things that you should never make into a habit or pattern of saying in your marriage.
These statements are not listed in any particular order, but each is detrimental to a marriage.
Men and women communicate differently.
But sometimes, due to abounding issues and flaws in communication patterns, it might feel like husbands and wives are speaking entirely different languages.
More than anything, women want to feel loved.
Women have many stories of feeling misunderstood by their husbands.
There are men who are self-aware and sensitive enough to know when their wives are feeling unheard.
Then, there are men who get defensive at any hint of criticism or accusation.
Women communicate to express their emotions or point out problems, most times, using questions.
Women just need their husbands to understand that much more than asking for information, they are pointing out that something is wrong or needs to be addressed.
This article will make the case for why these are the worst things a man can say to his wife, give some tips on how to avoid saying them, offer advice on how a husband can avoid saying things he might later regret, and how he can keep the peace at home by choosing his words wisely.
There are some things to never say to a spouse.
They’ll only make things worse and could cause irreparable damage to the relationship.
Here are some of them:
THE WORST THING A HUSBAND CAN SAY TO HIS WIFE
- I wish I had married someone else
Nothing destroys a woman’s confidence more than her husband telling her he regrets marrying her.
While it may seem harmless to make this comment a joke, it can have a lasting negative impact on your wife.
She may begin to wonder if you really do regret marrying her and look for evidence that you’re unhappy in the marriage.
No matter how charged an argument may be or how angry he feels, a husband should never tell his wife that he regrets marrying her.
Situations simmer down and disagreements come to an end, but hurtful words spoken have lasting damage on the receiver, the speaker, and the marriage.
- You are fat
Making your wife feel unattractive will not build up her self-esteem; it will tear it down, making her less confident in herself and less likely to be interested in sex.
Instead of criticizing your wife’s appearance, focus on what you like about how she looks and make positive comments when she makes an effort to look good for you.
Women are highly sensitive to any hint that they’re inadequate in some way: too old, too unattractive, too fat or skinny or dull.
Sometimes men inadvertently send these messages by comparing their wives with other women, women they see on TV, women at work, or even friends who seem more “together” than their own spouses.
Making destructive and negative comments about your wife’s looks, appearance, and body size will not help your marriage in the short and long run.
- You never cook dinner
Most wives are stretched thin trying to juggle work and family life, so putting dinner on the table every night can be difficult at times.
Instead of complaining about your wife’s culinary inconsistencies, why not make something up for the family by yourself?
Or help out more around the house to lighten her workload and reduce the burden on her to keep the home together.
Reality check, this is the 21st century.
Household responsibilities no longer fall on the woman alone.
A husband should think twice before hurting his wife’s feelings by making her feel inadequate.
One of the worst things a husband can say to his wife is ‘’you never cook dinner’’.
- You’re being too sensitive
This is among the worst things you can say to someone for two reasons: first, it’s dismissive, and second, it makes your spouse think they’re overreacting.
If something is bothering your spouse, it’s important that you address what they’re upset about head-on instead of trying to invalidate their feelings.
Telling his wife she is too sensitive is not only one of the worst and most damaging things a husband can say, it is also an insult and an entirely inappropriate comment to make.
- You haven’t changed a bit
The fact is, people do change over time, and not always in ways that are positive.
If you’ve noticed something about your partner that’s been a sore point for quite some time now, it may be worth discussing the issue with them to resolve it (if possible).
It doesn’t mean your partner hasn’t changed for the better in other areas of life or that you might need to change too.
Constantly accusing and criticizing your wife about her flaws and nagging her towards change will only chip away at her mental health and put negative stress on your relationship with her.
As a husband, don’t say ‘’you haven’t changed a bit’’. Instead, offer tips that will help her easily navigate the change and support her while she’s going through it.
- You never do anything right.
You can’t say this to your wife and get away with it.
It is the equivalent of telling her that her existence is pointless and that you don’t appreciate her at all.
You might not mean it, but if you’re saying this, it’s probably because you’re frustrated with something she just did.
Regardless of what she did, it isn’t worth telling her that she’s just incompetent.
It makes her feel like a bad wife for not getting her husband’s needs met.
She will naturally want to please him and may become resentful of the fact that he’s not happy with her.
In reality, no one can make another person happy, and being offensive in this way does nothing except destroy the trust in the marriage.
It also communicates that she is failing as a wife and doesn’t meet his standards. If a man says this to his wife, she will feel inadequate and unloved.
This is especially true if it’s a new marriage or if they are newlyweds.
7. You’ve gotten fat since you had the baby
If a woman gives birth to your child, you should at least be able to give her the respect of letting her know that she’s still attractive.
It’s not just about your wife looking good for you, it’s about her feeling good about herself.
This is why this statement is just so wrong.
When you say this to a woman who has just given birth, you are basically telling her that having your child has ruined her body forever and that she will never look the same again.
I don’t know of any woman who would want to hear this statement from their husband.
If you have a wife that has given birth recently, don’t make the mistake of saying this to her.
It makes her feel like she isn’t attractive anymore and that she won’t ever be as attractive as she once was before giving birth
8. I don’t love you anymore
Those words can cut like a knife, especially if they come from the person who has vowed to love you ’til death do you part.
This can be said during an argument when one or both spouses are angry and not thinking straight.
It is not something that should be said in the heat of the moment but rather something that should be discussed carefully when both people are calm.
If your marriage needs work, it’s better to say something like: “I’m having trouble loving you right now because of _____.” Or “You hurt me when you did/said _____.”
A statement like this puts the focus on what happened instead of on your spouse as a person.
9. You are boring
It is not difficult to be a good husband.
It is enough to understand that your wife is a human being with her own needs, desires, interests and preferences.
As long as you respect her as an individual and treat her with care and consideration, chances are you will almost never be in trouble with your wife.
However, there are certain phrases that no self-respecting woman would ever want to hear from her husband.
Telling a woman that she is boring is rude.
If you’re constantly telling her that she’s boring, your wife will eventually believe it herself and start acting like she really is boring.
And if she thinks she’s boring, she won’t be interested in spending time with you or doing anything fun together anymore.
She’ll think that she has nothing interesting to offer and won’t feel motivated to improve herself either.
Your constant criticism will only make things worse and drive an even bigger wedge between the two of you.
10. You need to go on a diet
One of the worst things a husband can say to his wife is, “You need to go on a diet.”
You know what she sees when you say that?
She sees that you don’t love her anymore, that you think she’s unattractive.
She sees a man who doesn’t want her as much as he used to and she may start looking for someone else who does.
If you tell her she looks fat in something, it’s even worse.
A woman often feels hurt and upset if her husband tells her she looks fat in an outfit.
If she asks if it makes her look fat, be creative with your response.
Even if a husband isn’t happy with his wife’s weight, telling her that it’s a problem is not going to solve anything.
And saying it with an attitude will make things even worse for both parties.
A better way for him to address the issue would be by saying, “I want you to be healthier.”
That way he’s still getting his point across but in a less hurtful way.
In the past few years, there has been a spate of articles, books, and blog posts dedicated to the subject of husbands and wives.
Even the most committed couples can find themselves at odds with one another.
When this happens, the need for a difficult conversation arises, even if it means admitting fault or apologizing.
We all say the wrong thing sometimes in our relationships.
It does not make you a terrible partner.
Rather, it makes you human.
But this does not mean that you should hang on to humanity as an excuse to make constant inappropriate comments about your partner.
We’ve all been there, and we know the feeling of having to apologize over and over again.
The problem comes when your constant apologies are in response to the same situation, when you keep saying one thing that really upsets your partner over and over again, it is time to retire that phrase from your vocabulary for good.
If you’re interested in doing better by your wife, it’s time to think about how your words (and tone) could be impacting her.
It’s not uncommon for men to feel clueless about what makes their wives tick emotionally.
Men should cultivate the habit of listening carefully and attentively to what their wives are saying.
In a marriage, communication is the foundation of the relationship.
There are certain things that men should never say to their wives.
These statements above are inappropriate and have no place in any healthy marriage.