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What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me?

What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me?

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The topic of a man spitting on his wife is a rather sensitive one that must be treated with caution.

Normally, it is rare to even find a human being spitting on an animal.

So, when a human being spits on another human, it usually depicts the lowest level of degradation.

It is universally unacceptable and disrespectful.

Amidst the vast cultural differences in the world, I’m not sure there is any culture where spitting on a person is not regarded as an act of contempt.

So why would a man spit on his wife?

What does it mean when a man spits on his wife?

In this article, we will consider a number of reasons why a man spits on his wife.

What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me

1. Contempt

What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me

Deliberately spitting on someone shows a blatant display of disrespect and disregard for their dignity and worth as a human being.

When someone spits on another person, it means that the person is completely inconsequential and invaluable before them.

Yes, it is possible for a man to feel this way about his spouse.

Although difficult to imagine, there are several reasons a man may decide to get married to a woman aside from love and appreciation for her person.

And among these several reasons, a man may decide to get married to a woman just because he doesn’t see any value in her.

That way, it is easy for him to assert dominance over her and treat her like a piece of trash at his will.

You don’t need anyone to tell you that a man who thinks and acts like this is not in his correct senses and needs to be checked.

But of course, if a man feels this way about the woman he married, spitting on her won’t need to be a premeditated action.

As he sees her, he is disgusted.

And as he is disgusted, he spits on her.


2. Provoking Confrontation

What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me: Provoking Confrontation

Have you ever been in a scene where two people were fighting or exchanging words?

When I was in high school, we used to have a lot of these scenes.

When one party in the exchange really wants to spend their energy exchanging blows and the other doesn’t seem to be having it, there are known ways to spur them up to engage in the fight.

One of these ways is by spitting on them.

In the heat of an argument, spitting on a person means you want to provoke them more or you just want to escalate the issue.

Of course, teenagers in high may have done that in their childishness, but even as adults, we still find situations where a husband deliberately spits on his wife because he wants to provoke her, see her reaction, or worsen the situation at hand.


3. Emotional or Psychological Issues

What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me: Emotional or Psychological Issues

There is a legitimate reason why it is strongly advised that people who are going through emotional and psychological issues go through mental health checks and therapy to help them recover.

These health challenges may spur a person towards thinking thoughts or doing things that are unbecoming and inappropriate.

When you find a husband who spits on his wife, you should know that the man may be going through a deeply rooted mental health challenge that may have been caused by unresolved anger, frustration, bitterness, and even hatred.

Many times in marriage, we find situations where couples choose to sweep things under the carpet rather than address and resolve them.

And as these unresolved issues in the marriage increase, it plays out as couples resenting each other.

At this stage, if the issue is not brought out from under the carpet and dealt with, the bitter partner soon begins to lose touch with their senses, resulting in nasty and spontaneous behaviors like spitting on their spouse.


4. Past Trauma

What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me

Aside from deeply rooted bitterness and resentment, another mental health challenge that can make a husband spit on his wife is past trauma.

This is why people should fight very hard to move away from any toxic environment they find themselves.

Picture a man who grew up in an environment where fighting, quarreling, and spitting on people was a norm.

This man grows up and decides to get married without the opportunity to unlearn that pattern of life.

Or picture another man who has been in several toxic and abusive relationships where he was always in a fight with his partner.

These two men are walking examples of people who are deeply drowned in the trauma of their past.

Many times, they do not know that they are traumatized.

They think this is just how life is, and they have to tough it out.

But in reality, their past experiences have shaped their attitudes and behaviors towards themselves and others.

This can lead to a vicious cycle of toxic behavior as they continue to perpetuate the same patterns that were normalized in their past.

If their past is not revisited and they do not heal from all that toxicity, they may be exposed to spitting on their wives during misunderstandings.


5. Substance Abuse


What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me: Substance Abuse

Growing up, I have had the opportunity to see men who went from being sane and responsible men to being mentally deranged and eating from the bin as victims of drug abuse.

The aftermath of alcohol or drug abuse can be so severe it may even cause death.

People who are addicted to substances usually lack a sense of judgment and understanding.

If you have been in an interaction with them, you’ll find that the substance they have become addicted to has wielded so much power over them that they begin to think that they can’t feed, sleep, or even live properly without taking the substance.

If a man who is a substance addict is married during misunderstandings with his spouse or when she offends him, he may be provoked into engaging in impulsive and abusive behaviors, including spitting on her.

Excessive intake of alcohol and drugs impairs his judgment so much that even when what his wife has done is not offensive, he is still triggered to do things that may be harmful to her.

If he is in this perpetual state, spitting on you as his wife will not be a big deal to him.


6. What He has Learnt

What Does it Mean When My Husband Spits on Me: What He has Learnt

Psychology has proven that people are often prone to behave according to their dominant thoughts, and these dominant thoughts are often a result of the things that they are exposed to the most.

And this is why it is a good thing that we are in a generation that is open to unlearning and relearning things.

A man who is raised in an environment where aggression or disrespect towards women is normalized or even condoned is bound to express aggressive behaviors towards his wife unless he unlearns it.

And unlearning deeply rooted behaviors doesn’t just happen.

It must be replaced with something new.

So, in his case, aggression and disrespect must be replaced in his mind with gentleness and respect.

If this doesn’t happen, there will be cases of him abusing his spouse through actions like spitting on her.



We have listed six reasons in this article, and not even one justifies such a degrading act as spitting on one’s spouse.

When it occurs in marriage, it is abuse and one that must be addressed immediately.

The woman who has become the object of contempt must go out to seek if she cares about her well-being.

Underlying issues must be brought to light and addressed, and if there is a need for either individual or couple therapy, they must seek it without hesitation.