Unmarried women gather in here; let me ask you a question:
That man you love at this time of your life, the one who you’re hoping to spend the rest of your life with – do you think you can ever stop loving him?
Or do you think you’ll ever tire of him?
I don’t think you do.
But neither did the women who are sick of their husbands today in marriage.
When you first meet the love of your life in your early love stage, everything seems perfect, and there is no possibility that anything could ever go wrong with this love.
But now and then, we hear stories of women who were once head over heels in love with their men and now find themselves seeking ways to escape him.
In today’s liberal society, many women are divorcing their husbands because “I am sick and tired of this man.”
What are the issues?
What brings women to this point where the very man that tickled their fancy now makes them sick?
Is It Normal to Feel Sick of Your Husband?
1. A Shift in Relationship Phase
There are different stages in a relationship, and almost every married couple goes through these stages.
They say it begins with liking a person and then to the talking stage.
After the talking stage, they move to dating or courtship – whichever one applies to their preference.
After that is the engagement, then marriage.
And even in marriage, there’s the first stage, which is the honeymoon stage.
That period when everything feels perfect, like nothing could ever go wrong.
A book I read called it “the first stage of love.”
Where love is all about tingling sensations and butterflies in the belly.
At this stage, love is unintentional and has the potential to blind the eyes.
But after this stage comes the lifelong stage of marriage, where the initial excitement fades and the eyes open.
At this point, couples can see each other’s flaws and differences more clearly and even get to pay attention to these flaws.
It is at this stage love becomes an intentional decision to overlook mistakes, accommodate excesses, and make compromises.
But in many cases, couples who do not have a clear understanding and who are not ready for this stage will say things like, “My spouse changed after marriage.”
No, they did not change; your eyes opened.
Looking at this version of the husband like “This is not the person I married,” a woman may become sick of him even up to the point of regret and frustration.
2. Breakdown in Communication
Another thing that may cause a woman to become sick of her husband is a breakdown in communication.
No matter how introverted or reserved a person is, they always keep communication going with the one they love.
I know a man who almost never talks—you could spend a whole day with him and count the number of words he has spoken.
However, if you see this same man with his wife, it is like he can not stop talking.
Communication between them is sound and continuous.
Nobody wants to be in a marriage where there is little or ineffective communication.
Every married person wants to hear and be heard by their spouse.
They want to know that their marriage is a safe place to air their thoughts, feelings, opinions, ideas, etc, without the fear of being shut out or judged.
When a woman finds herself in a marriage with a man and their communication does not flow smoothly, she is likely to soon begin to feel fed up.
Whatever it is that is causing the breakdown in communication in the marriage – whether it is a tight/busy schedule, daily grind, or increased responsibilities – it has the ability to cause unnecessary misunderstanding and resentment in the marriage.
3. Unmet Expectations
People go into marriage every day with their personal expectations about how their spouses should behave or what their marriage should look like.
Imagine a woman going into marriage with a reserved man and expecting that her marriage will be filled with surprise date nights, randomly written love notes, and so forth.
Meanwhile, the man is thinking of a more practical way to keep her happy and build a stable future for their family.
This kind of not-exactly-realistic expectation is what people go into marriage with every day.
Then they get into the marriage, and these expectations are sometimes unmet.
Unmet expectations and failed promises in marriage often bring about insecurity.
As soon as insecurity and disappointment creep into the marriage, dissatisfaction follows, creating negative energy between the two parties.
4. External Stressors
Finally, another thing that can make a woman tired of her husband is external factors.
This usually includes work stress, financial pressures, and/or family issues.
Let’s start with the family issue.
I spoke with a woman who has been married for about 15 years, and she related her marital ordeal to me.
Apparently, her husband’s family did not accept her for their son when he introduced her before the marriage.
But her husband pressed hard and went ahead to marry her.
At first, it felt like a win-win situation for her.
But with time, she realized that she would never experience the peace that comes with being in a family that loves and accepts you.
Every day, her husband is faced with choosing between his family and her.
This kind of situation is enough to make her sick of her husband and the marriage.
Financial pressure can occur when the financial burden of the marriage rests on one person – the woman in this situation – with no help or effort from her husband.
All these external stressors have the ability to make marriage seem unbearable to a woman, so much so that she can become sick of her husband.
Dealing with the Challenges
It is not a strange thing to have a woman who is sick of her husband.
But that feeling must not be nursed if she wants to have a fulfilling marriage life.
There are ways to constructively address these issues and revive the beauty and passion in marriage.
Some of these are:
1. Restore Communication
There is not one problem in this world that cannot be addressed through sound communication.
Whatever the situation is, normalize talking with your husband through it.
As long as there is mutual and respectful communication in a marriage, that marriage will always stand a better chance of being blissful.
2. Manage Expectations
Try to cut down on your expectations concerning your husband.
Especially if it is borne out of your own ideas and desires.
Everyone has their strength and weakness, and if your husband doesn’t seem to be showing forth the kind of strength that you want him to, turn your attention to the strength that he possesses and take pleasure in them.
The fewer expectations you have, the less pressure you unconsciously put on your spouse, and the less disappointment you experience.
3. Seek Support
Especially if you are a victim of a shift in the relationship phase.
There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you do not know what to do and seeking ideas from people who do.
If you have had a conversation with your husband about what is making you sick of him and the conversation doesn’t seem to have helped in any way; if you have managed your expectations and you are still feeling like this thing is not just making progress, progress to reaching out to people who you trust and know can be of help.
It may be a family member, a family friend, a professional marriage counselor, or a therapist. These people can provide valuable insight, helping you see the challenge from a neutral perspective.
That way, you can decide what you have been doing wrong and how you can straighten things out.
Conclusion
It is normal for a woman to get sick of her husband.
What is not normal, however, is not making any effort to address the issue and restore peace to the marriage.
Choosing to sweep the issue under the carpet and act like all is well is toxic and will definitely have an adverse effect on your health and well-being.
Say no to toxicity in marriage and yes to a peaceful and blissful marriage.