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7 Sure Signs You’re Not in the Friend Zone

7 Sure Signs You’re Not in the Friend Zone

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Many people who are in a romantic relationship today were once friends and have graduated from the friend zone.

This kind of relationship is often said to be the best, as you get to date someone with whom you are already comfortable. 

So, having a friend who is trying to move you from the friend zone in their lives is not a new thing. 

The trouble is, there are many times when people are no longer in the friend zone of a person’s life, and they have no idea that they have been shifted. 

And this is owing to the fact that they are either not familiar with or not attentive to the sign that says, “No longer in the friend zone.”

So, how do we recognize these signs you’re not in the friend zone and romance is possible?

7 Sure Signs You’re Not in the Friend Zone

1. Initiation of Intimate Conversations

7 Signs You're Not in the Friend Zone

There’s so much emotional connection you can share with your friend. 

But as long as that relationship is platonic, there’s an unspoken limit to how deep that connection will go. 

People often reserve the depth of their vulnerability for their romantic partners or someone they like more than just friends. 

There are situations when a friend initiates an intimate conversation with you, and you wonder why they are sharing that information with you.

You probably felt that way because it wasn’t a person you had feelings for, and you never also thought they had feelings for you. 

If you have feelings for your friend, or you suspect that a friend has feelings for you, having intimate conversations with them will just be a confirmation of your suspicion. 

When people consider being more than friends, they often try to deepen their connections through intimate conversations. 

If your interactions with a person are always about personal dreams, desires, and emotions, chances are, you have been moved from the friend zone.


2. Physical Affection

7 Signs You're Not in the Friend Zone

In my group of friends, we share a level of physical affection. 

We give each other hugs as frequently as possible and hold each other’s hands in times of need. 

But even with the presence of a physical display of affection among us, I could still tell when one of my friends started liking me. 

His hugs became firmer, and he would just hold me there. 

His touches became softer and more intentional, and whenever we gathered, he always wanted to stay close to me. 

I didn’t notice at first, then I noticed and was confused. 

But after a while, it became clear that this guy was becoming increasingly interested in being more than friends with me. 

Physical touch is always a powerful indicator of romantic interest. 

Friends can touch each other like how it is among my friends, but there is always extra intentionality behind a touch that is targeted at provoking romance. 


3. Making Time for You

7 Signs You're Not in the Friend Zone

People are really busy, and many times, they are not lying when they tell you that they do not have time to do a particular thing for you. 

But the funny thing about time is that it works with priorities. 

The amount of time people have is very relative, even though everyone has an equal 24 hours in a day. 

People often seem to have time for the most important things and lack time to attend to things that are unimportant to them.

So there’s someone who, amidst their busy schedule, always seems to have time for you?

All you need to do is call, and while you’re yet speaking, they’re right there.

Are you still thinking it’s because they are your friend – a friend in need is a friend indeed, yeah?

You should check if they also have time for their other friends like they have time for you. 

And I’m not also sure that it is a coincidence that they are always free when you are in need. 

Time is a really precious commodity. 

That person who consistently prioritizes spending time with you, even when it requires effort or sacrifice, is only displaying their interest in being more than just friends with you. 


4. Flirtatious Behavior

7 Signs You're Not in the Friend Zone

Flirting is a universal language of attraction. 

It may not always be deep or serious, but when someone flirts with you, the first message that registers in your mind is that they want a romantic relationship with you.

So your friend all of a sudden begins to notice the style of your hair, the shape of your eyes, and the clothes you’re wearing. 

And not only stops at noticing but also compliments it with very intentional flirtatious words.

It might be your sign that they are seeking more than just friends with you. 

Don’t wave off those flirtings as “they are just being playful.”

Pay close attention to all that body language and verbal cues that go beyond the realm of friendly banter.

You should also watch out for their consistency because consistently doing something tells you that a person is serious about it. 


5. Jealousy or Protective Behavior

7 Signs You're Not in the Friend Zone:

So that my friend I spoke about after a while started seeking knowledge about my private life.

He wanted to know the men I spoke with and how frequently I spoke with them.

He even picked a fight with me because, according to him, I was closer to another guy in our group than I was to him. 

It hurt him because he was putting all that energy into it, always sacrificing his time to see to my needs. 

All that display of jealousy did not happen because he was a good friend.

They happened because he had other interests in me.

When your friend begins to display a high level of jealousy and overprotectiveness, it is a sign that he has extra feelings.

And you need to be careful because, in my years of studying, I’ve discovered that there is a thin line between jealousy and toxicity.

Every untamed jealousy has the potential of becoming toxic and becoming harmful to the people involved. 


6. Seeking Your Opinion on Romantic Matters

7 Signs You're Not in the Friend Zone

If your other person frequently seeks your advice or opinion on matters related to dating or relationships, it could be a subtle way of igniting your interest. 

All that coming to you to talk about someone who likes them or an experience they had and sharing their own ideas with you with subtle cues of the fact that it is you that they want. 

You are not a relationship coach, but every time there’s always a “what do you think about…” one relationship matters or the other in your dms. 

It is not because you give great advice.

It is because they want to transfer you out of the friend zone.


7. Shared Future Plans

7 Signs You're Not in the Friend Zone

Then they talk about their future plans, and you keep featuring somewhere everywhere. 

And you have not paid attention that it is just you among all their friends that is featured so much in their future.

And it is not a coincidence. 

When people talk about their future plans, they have future plans because they have intentionally considered their long-term goals. 

And the people who feature in this long-term goal are people who play a significant long-term role in their lives. 

So when someone includes you in their future plans, it means they see you as an important and integral part of their life. 

This is a strong indication that they value your relationship and want to continue building a future with you.



These signs are not absolute signs that your friend likes you always, but they are clear indications of that possibility. 

To be clear on your suspicions, you might want to ask questions or do things that will lead them and watch if they will follow. 

If the feeling is not mutual, you can respectfully express your discomfort with the gestures.