Being in a romantic relationship is such a beautiful thing.
But marriage?
The beauty of marriage is completely unmatched.
Having two people come together from different places to pledge themselves to each other for life?
We really need to do a whole study on this thing.
The confidence, the assurance that people have to be bold about such a pledge: that till the end of their lives, they will love no one; commit to no one.
And, you know, even though there are a number of people who just say those words with something else in mind, and without an intent to fulfill them, a lot of people actually do mean every word they say in their marriage vows.
So what then could be responsible for the ever-increasing high rate of divorce in the world today?
What is making more than half of the married population go back on their words, “till death do us part.”
So much so that unmarried people are beginning to despair marriage?
Today, we won’t be answering this question.
Rather, we will look at ways to avoid divorce in our own marriages.
Yes, there are things you can do to make sure that you do not increase the number of divorcees around town.
And we have listed them out here.
6 Practical Tips to Avoid Divorce and Strengthen Your Marriage
1. Forgiveness
To err is human.
Human beings are naturally flawed and prone to mistakes.
And the fact that a person makes a mistake repeatedly does not necessarily mean they are bad people.
Especially if they are taking intentional steps to become better people.
Sometimes, what we view as mistakes may just be them doing something the way they have known all their lives, and by reason of being married to you, they have to put it behind them and choose your style.
So as long as they are still in the process of learning and unlearning, give them grace.
They are your spouse and are stuck with you for life.
You just have to keep forgiving if you want to stay in marriage for a long time.
You should not reach a point in your marriage where you feel like you can’t forgive anymore.
Treat your spouse with compassion and understanding.
2. Emotional and Physical Intimacy
It is a serious challenge if intimacy is lacking in your marriage.
Intimacy is the glue that binds you and your spouse together.
Whether it is physical or emotional intimacy.
The more you open yourselves up and connect with each other, the more you know each other.
And the more you know each other, the stronger the strength of your union.
So, always maintain an emotional connection by sharing your thoughts, fears, and dreams with each other.
Close that up with physical affection and intimacy to nurture your bond and keep the passion wild in your marriage.
Your spouse needs to know that you love them.
There is no such thing as “they already know.”
Regular expressions of love and affection strengthen the emotional connection between you two and enhance satisfaction in your marriage.
3. Financial Transparency
Money has proven to be a major cause of conflicts in marriage.
Some decades ago, the husbands were the primary/sole provider in the home, while the women were only required to be homemakers and primarily responsible for training and raising the kids.
But as the world is evolving, so are these roles.
Now, there are more people doing their marriage in a way that works for them.
They share their roles and obligations in a way that favors both parties.
Usually, couples discuss their financial roles and obligations in the marriage before they walk down the aisle.
As much as possible, there should be transparency with finances in the marriage.
We all know that financial security may not always be so secure.
In any case, if something prevents one spouse from fulfilling their financial obligations, the other spouse should be made aware of it.
Financial goals and budgets should be set and reviewed periodically to reduce stress and disagreements and strengthen the marital bond.
4, Embrace Compromise and Flexibility
There is barely any marriage that can work without compromise.
We are yet to see the couple who wants the same thing 100%.
Based on these differences, a married couple must be open to compromises and adjustments to accommodate each other’s excesses.
Being flexible lets you see things from each other’s alternate points of view, and it teaches you that just because you have different ideas does not mean that anyone is wrong.
Choosing to stay rigid with your ideas and insisting on having your own way all the time will breed resentment over time.
But you can avoid it if you choose to give your spouse grace every now and then.
The fact that you decide to follow their path does not necessarily mean that you are wrong.
You have just chosen peace, and it is a better choice than proving right.
5. Conflict Resolution
Just like with mistakes, conflict will always be present in every marriage.
The fact that the people who are married are from different backgrounds with different views of life, opinions, and understandings.
We just cannot rule out conflicts.
But we can manage them to ensure that they do not result in the end of the marriage.
Conflict resolution works differently for different couples, and that is why it is often advised that couples find theirs at the early stage of the marriage.
Some popular conflict resolution mechanisms are listening, mediation, compromise, and empathy.
Rather than becoming critical of your spouse, try to address issues constructively and give room for understanding your spouse’s viewpoint.
If the situation needs mediation, usually choose an unbiased professional to do the job.
And someone that you both trust.
6. Avoid Extramarital Affairs
If there is one thing you must do to keep your marriage, it is right here.
Avoid extramarital affairs or the resemblance of them.
You know some people may not be having sexual intimacy outside their marriage, and so they rule out the possibility that they are engaging in extramarital affairs.
But truly, any relationship outside of the marriage that is reaping some of the benefits of the marriage or poses a threat to the marriage
Like that friendship, you have with the opposite sex that your spouse does not know of or that person to to whom you can tell all your deepest secrets, including the ones you can’t tell your spouse.
They’re all extramarital affairs.
You don’t need to be sexually involved before you engage in an extramarital affair.
So everything that is, or looks like, an extramarital affair should be completely eliminated.
We cannot rule out the fact that there is always an exemption to every rule.
You can put in all the work needed to keep your marriage going and bubbling.
But in my opinion, it should not be at the expense of your life.
If your life is threatened in any way, you may not necessarily decide on a divorce.
But you must leave that space.
Choose to be separated from the toxic spouse to give both of you an opportunity to find yourself and heal.
Remember, it is only the living that can love, and be married.