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8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

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Do you ask your spouse questions?

What kind of questions do you ask them?

You see, marriage isn’t a one-night stand. 

It is a journey that keeps going. 

It only ends when the couple ends. 

And it is filled with highs, lows, and everything in between. 

There are things that form the bedrock of a marriage: love, trust, mutual respect, etc 

But what really keeps the marriage going is continuous communication.

When you ask your spouse the right questions, you get to see loopholes and mistakes that keep repeating themselves within the marriage. 

You’re also able to create deeper connections, resolve conflicts more amicably, and ensure that both partners feel valued and understood. 

There are quite a number of these questions that you can ask your spouse to improve your marriage, but we have curated the 8 most important ones that will help you preserve your marriage’s passion and beauty.

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

1. How Are You Feeling Today?

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

This question may seem simple but it really is a powerful one.

Asking about your spouse‘s day-to-day feelings just tells them that you care about their emotional well-being and you are interested in what goes on in their lives. 

It opens the door for them to talk to you about things that are stressing them out, their achievements during the day, and anything else that may be on their mind. 

And this regular check-in can prevent small issues from metamorphosing into bigger problems. 

Like in a case where your spouse is supposed to share a piece of very important information with you but loses touch with it during the busyness of the day.

Asking them how their day went can revive their thoughts, and they get the opportunity to share them before they become the cause of unforeseen problems. 


2. What Are Your Dreams and Goals?

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

For sure, you want to know where your spouse is going in the nearest or farthest future. 

Knowing this helps doesn’t just help you support their goals and ambitions, it also keeps you in the know. 

You cannot walk blindly in your marriage and have your spouse take you by surprise. 

Even when you already know their plans, asking them again from time to time keeps you up to date with events and changes that may have occurred. 

Ask them about their career-related goals, their personal goals, and their plans for the family and marriage so that the both of you can work hand-in-hand to achieve them. 

And when you clearly ask about these things, it tells your partner that you want to be carried along in plans for their life and the marriage. 


3. What Do You Need Me To Do Right Now?

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

Just because your partner needed a particular thing yesterday doesn’t mean it is the same thing they need now. 

You should be flexible enough to ask this question as often as possible. 

Especially when you’ve noticed that what was working is no longer working. 

Needs change over time, and what worked in the past may not work now. 

So you need to ask. 

And ask regularly. 

You’ll save yourself a whole lot of making assumptions that are most likely not correct. 

And doing things you are not supposed to be doing. 

So ask, and be ready to receive their feedback and make the necessary adjustments to show them that you are committed to their well-being. 


4. How Can We Improve Our Communication?

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

Asking this question doesn’t necessarily mean that communication is not great in the marriage. 

But communication can always get better. 

In fact, asking this question may expose the fact that communication has only been great for one party. 

Communication is of utmost importance in a healthy marriage, but it is easy to fall into unproductive patterns. 

Asking your spouse how they think communication can improve is a proactive step that can expose you to strategies for improving your marriage. 

It also ensures that both you and your spouse are always heard and understood. 


5. What Are Your Biggest Concerns Right Now?

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

You know how you can be in a place where it feels like your world is falling apart and your spouse seems to care little about it?

That is the time to ask this question. 

But be careful; you’re not going to ask it like you’re making an accusation. 

Rather, you’ll ask it from a place of care and genuine concern.

Life is full of challenges, and your spouse may be facing worries that you’re unaware of. 

And the worry may be way worse than what you are going through. 

When you ask this question in your own moment and in the midst of your own troubles, it shows that you are not selfish and are willing to put your spouse first. 


6. What Are Your Favorite Memories with Me?

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

Sometimes, you don’t even know what it is that endeared you the most to your spouse. 

But you’ll know if you ask this question the right way. 

Your spouse’s fondest memory of you should be a memory of you doing something they really, really liked. 

And in times when it feels like the flame of passion is going out, reflecting on happy memories can rekindle the romance and remind you both why you fell in love. 

Beyond this, knowing what you did that your spouse really liked will help you decide what to invest in more. 

And it will amaze you to know that this thing might be something you didn’t consider to be anything. 


7. What Traditions Do You Want to Create or Maintain?

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

In the midst of a very busy daily life, even married couples may forget the importance of spending time together. 

Usually, they only realize this when they discover that they are beginning to drift apart. 

Forgetting to spend time with each other can be reduced to the lowest minimum through the introduction of family traditions. 

Traditions, whether they are weekly date nights, holiday rituals, or annual trips, provide stability and a sense of continuity in a marriage. 

Once it is an established tradition, you both become committed to it and bound to that commitment. 

So, talk to your spouse about which traditions are important to them.

It will help you both continue to create meaningful experiences together, strengthen your bond, and create lasting memories. 

You can decide to create new traditions or maintain existing ones from time to time. 

Just make sure that you both agree on these traditions and watch how they improve the quality of your marriage. 


8. How Can We Resolve Conflicts More Effectively?

8 Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Better Marriage

This particular question is a must-ask. 

Especially if you want to be in marriage for a long time.


I’m not sure there are any marriages where there are no conflicts. 

Conflicts will definitely arise, but how you manage them usually makes all the difference. 

Asking and defining a workable conflict resolution mechanism will see to it that there is more peace and harmony in your home than there is conflict. 

And when there is a mutually favorable mechanism in place, it is easier for you both to have arguments and still maintain respect for each other. 

And resolve conflicts in a healthy manner. 


If you want your marriage to thrive, you must do the work.

And in doing the work, you don’t want to be investing in efforts that won’t yield results. 

And that is the reason you need to be asking these questions regularly. 

So that when you do the work, you know that you are doing the right work.