There’s this assumption people have about women that when something is wrong, you will know.
She’s expected to cry or complain about it.
But that’s not always how it works.
Some women go quiet.
And it is the kind of quiet where everything is happening inside, and nobody else can see it.
They keep being “fine.”
Until one day, something breaks, or worse, nothing breaks at all, and they just slowly disappear into themselves.
I came across a post recently where a man said, “Women treat you how they want to be treated at the beginning, then later, they treat you how you treat them.”
I don’t believe in blanket statements like that.
But I understand where it comes from.
Because many women don’t always say what’s wrong, but they show it.
If you’re a woman reading this, you’ve probably lived this in one way or another.
And if you’re a man, you may have missed it while it was happening right in front of you.
8 Things An Unhappy Woman Spends Her Time On
1. Her Circumstances
This one is quite obvious because I believe it happens to even the best of us.
So, it is obvious that when a woman is unhappy, her mind will circle around the circumstances almost constantly.
Whatever situation it may be that she has found herself in, you will find her thinking about it again and again.
She will constantly turn it over in her mind while she is cooking, driving, or trying to fall asleep.
She will find herself replaying conversations and wishing she had made better decisions.
And she may sometimes compare her life to others’ because she thinks they are doing better than she is.
It’s not like this does anything but fill her with worry, but she can’t just help herself.
I heard somewhere that worry is like a rocking chair; it takes you nowhere but gives you something to do.
So, even though it may not be the most productive use of her time, she spends time on it nonetheless.
And really, sometimes, she is hoping that if she thinks about it long enough, a way out will appear.
2. Social Media
Another thing women spend their time on when they are unhappy is social media.
And I mean, who can blame them?
Social media is designed to be an easy place to hide when you do not feel good about your own life.
It is a very good place to get lost in because you can keep scrolling for a good two hours at a go, not knowing time has passed.
As I said, it’s a good place to hide.
So, unhappy women often spend a lot of time there because it offers a temporary escape.
When you are watching other people’s vacations, relationships, and milestones, it helps you forget your own thoughts, even for that moment.
Sadly, though, at the same time, it can also deepen the sadness.
Because the more you scroll, the more it begins to feel like everyone else is living the life you hoped to have.
I remember going through a heartbreak, and because I didn’t want to spend time thinking about it, I buried myself in my phone.
Yes, it made me think less of my own life.
But it also made me terribly sad because almost everywhere I turned on IG was someone talking about their relationship or showing us how good they have it.
Ironically, I couldn’t stop scrolling.
Because even that sadness was better than sitting with my thoughts.
So, if you find a woman incessantly on her phone, she may be trying to escape reality.
3. Past Mistakes
Even though we all know there’s nothing we can do about the past, we still revisit it, especially when it is influencing the present.
Say, for instance, a woman is in debt because she lavished her money on frivolity instead of spending wisely when she had a job.
Now, she’s unemployed with no savings and huge debt.
That woman is likely going to live with a lot of “if onlys”, berating herself for not doing better when she could have.
So, an unhappy woman will likely think about the past and wonder what she did wrong, and she could have done differently.
She would remember the decisions she made years ago, the relationship she stayed in too long, and the opportunity she turned down.
She will also think about the words she wishes she had not said and the ones she should have said.
Even though she knows that she can’t go back, a part of her is still trying to fix something that already happened.
Or trying to figure out where everything went wrong.
And I imagine that it’s comforting, in that moment, at least.
4. Her Work
Work can be a beautiful thing when you enjoy what you do.
And there are many women who genuinely love their careers or are working hard toward a promotion or a bigger goal.
But work can also be a hiding place for some.
Because when a woman fills every hour with work, she does not have to sit still long enough to face how she feels about the rest of her life.
Plus, it’s always easier to control your work environment than life.
So a woman can focus on that rather than on things she can’t control.
5. Sleep
Doctors advise that adults sleep for at least 7-9 hours daily because our bodies need rest.
So, sleep, on its own, is not an issue.
However, some women use sleep as an escape.
An unhappy woman might sleep far longer than usual because she doesn’t want to face the thought she would have to face when she’s awake.
If you’re like this kind of woman, you will find that your bed will become a kind of refuge.
You will wake up late, take naps in the afternoon, and basically sleep the day away.
The funny thing is that sometimes, sleeping makes you approach the issue with a clearer eye because your body is well-rested.
Sometimes, though, you are just wasting time because you’ll wake up to find that same issue exactly where you left it.
6. Shopping
If you ask Becky in the Confessions of a Shopaholic series about shopping, she’d likely tell you it’s therapeutic.
And to be honest, it is.
That’s why many unhappy women get lost in a shopping app or e-commerce store when they are sad.
The only thing is that it is an unhealthy therapy, if there’s anything like that.
Because you will come out of it with a bunch of stuff you may not need while still feeling empty inside.
However, at that moment, it is something many women spend their time on.
Because, as I said, it works, even fleetingly.
And we can’t deny that that fleeting moment of excitement is all some people need when life gets sad.
Still, it is unhealthy and financially unwise, so they should probably learn healthier ways to handle their sadness.
7. Socialising
Unhappiness makes some women withdraw from people.
But sometimes, it does the opposite.
Some women fill their schedule with gatherings, dinners, and outings to run from their life.
You will find them saying yes to every invite.
Or arranging some themselves because keeping busy with a full social life is better than being alone for too long.
8. Her Kids
Lastly, when a woman has children, she may pour an enormous amount of attention into them when she is unhappy.
Usually, good mothers already give a lot of themselves to their children.
So, that’s not what I’m talking about.
In this case, I’m talking about going to the extreme, even to the point of smothering them.
Like doing things for them that they could do themselves.
All because she doesn’t want to focus on her own life.
It’s sad, anyway, so she doesn’t want to dwell on it.
Therefore, by making the children the center of her life, she can easily escape her own reality.