I won’t be the first to tell you that most men like the idea of chasing after a girl.
Even if they want you and are hoping the commitment leads to something serious, they still enjoy the thrill of chasing you before and even during the relationship.
However, believe it or not, some guys also enjoy being chased.
Now, I honestly can’t tell you if the intent is to date you or not, but I do know that some guys want you to chase them.
Maybe it’s to prove to themselves that you also want them, or perhaps they enjoy the attention that comes from it, even if they don’t want something serious.
Whatever the case, you need to know.
At least, that way, you can make an informed decision, whether actually to chase him or not.
8 Signs He Wants You to Chase Him
1. He is busy but available
One thing to watch out for to know when a guy wants you to chase him is when he is somehow still available even though he wants you to believe he’s busy.
When a man seems so busy yet somehow always makes time for you, or when his busyness is never consistent, even when he wants you to believe it is, you should pay attention.
Now, on one hand, it could mean that he likes you, wants to be with you, and is ready to chase you.
So, even when you know he has a busy schedule, he somehow makes time for you.
For instance, before my man and I became official, one of the ways I knew he cared about me was how he found time to visit me despite his busy schedule.
He worked 9-5, including Saturdays, and is a very active member in church, so his Sundays are also booked.
Still, he came to see me at least twice a week without fail.
And that was before he knew I felt anything for him.
So, that’s one side of the coin.
On the other hand, he might be doing that because he wants you to chase him.
The difference between the two is that for a guy who wants to also chase you, you will see him actively doing that, while the one who wants to be chased will be passive about it.
Also, you will notice that the latter is doing that to feed you crumbs.
He gives you just enough access to keep you interested but not enough to feel secure.
One day, he is busy; the next, he is available, and so goes the cycle.
If he truly wanted to pursue a relationship with you, he’d be consistent.
But when he keeps showing up and disappearing like that, he is trying to let you see he wants you, but would prefer you do the chasing by yourself.
2. He gives the words, but little action
This one is tricky because his words sound convincing.
He might tell you how much he likes you, how different you are, or how you make him feel something real.
But when it’s time to prove it, he disappears or gives excuses.
That’s because he wants you to know he’s interested in you so that you can cling to that hope.
Or respond by chasing him.
If he wanted to chase you, besides telling you about his feelings, he would also back it up with action.
But if he keeps feeding you promises without showing effort, he’s simply drawing you into the chase on purpose.
3. He constantly mentions how independent you are
When a man often points out how strong or independent you are, I know it sounds good to hear.
But it’s not always a compliment; sometimes, it’s a setup.
He’s simply trying to convince you that it’s perfectly fine for you to do the chasing.
He is trying to prod you into doing what he doesn’t want to do.
So, he might say things like, “Women these days go after what they want,” or “I like how confident you are.”
He intends to ease out of the pursuit by making you believe that taking charge is what confident women do.
4. He blows hot and cold
A man who wants you to chase him will keep blowing hot and cold.
One minute, he’s charming and affectionate; the next, he’s withdrawn or uninterested.
This emotional back-and-forth is classic behavior from a man who enjoys being chased.
When he’s warm, he pulls you in.
And when he turns cold, he watches to see if you’ll reach out and try to fix it.
His inconsistency is intentional to keep you guessing and to keep him in control.
So, don’t be deceived by his swinging mood; it’s his strategy to prod you into chasing him.
5. He makes you envision his future with you
Another way a guy makes sure you chase him is by making you envision his future with you.
He will often talk about the future and make sure you picture yourself in the mix.
For instance, he will tell you where he wants to live, what kind of family he wants, and his dreams for the future.
And he will mention you in those dreams.
Of course, he might do it subtly, but you will still get the idea, making it easy to think he’s serious.
But the problem is that he will never actually move things forward.
He just paints the picture to hook you, but he will do so little to make it real.
Because he intends to paint it, while leaving it to you to chase him to make it happen.
6. The chase thrills him
You’ll know this one by how he reacts when you take initiative.
For instance, when you call first or plan something, he will light up, act more attentive, and seem more interested.
Then, after a while, he may pull back to get you to apply pressure.
But when he sees that you are comfortable not chasing, he might feed you crumbs again to get you to do it again.
And so, the cycle continues, because the excitement for him lies in being desired.
He feeds off your pursuit, as it boosts his ego.
So, he will make sure he keeps getting that.
7. He is distant but jealous
This kind of man will tell you he’s not ready for anything serious, but let another man get close to you, and he will suddenly start acting possessive.
One minute, you are wondering where you stand because he’s keeping his distance, the next, you are wondering why he won’t let you move on easily.
When a man is acting that way, that is a big sign he wants control, and he wants you to chase him.
8. He never fully stays, but he also never leaves
I had a guy do this with me for a while; he shows up every once in a while to remind me he has feelings for me.
But he never follows up on it.
That’s the usual M.O. of guys who want to be chased.
You never seem to know what to call them, because while they are not actively chasing you, they can’t seem to let go either.
He shows up just when you’re ready to move on, says all the right things, and pulls you right back in.
Then, as soon as you start getting comfortable, he drifts again.
His action is to keep you emotionally stuck because he enjoys being wanted without doing the actual work.