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10 Sure Signs A Man Is Using You

10 Sure Signs A Man Is Using You

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If you have ever asked questions like “How to know if a man is using me?”, 

“Am I being used?” 

Or on the other hand, “Am I being fooled?”

This post is a guide to help you identify and understand these signs as soon as they start manifesting.

Throughout this article, we will break down the major signs to look for that may say “he is using you.” 

Equipping you with this knowledge can help you avoid this kind of situation now and in the future.

Here are 10 signs that a man is using you, if you identify any of these signs in a man you are dating, it’s left for you to decide what to do next.

10 Sure Signs A Man Is Using You

1. He hardly shows you affection.

Signs A Man Is Using You

Have you ever felt emotionally ignored? 

Or your relationship with him lacks the vibes that trigger butterflies in the stomach.

Though, for some guys, showing a lot of affection and emotions can be a difficult task, but as time passes and you people get to understand each other, this becomes less an issue, as he adapts and understands how you want to be loved and treated

However, when affection such as getting a hug or a passionate kiss from him becomes a task and when it does happen, it leaves you wanting something more from him, it is a clear sign he is using you.

He does this not because he wants to do it but for him to put a seeming seal on the relationship, then he is not in for real.

He might just be hanging on to you for the moment before he finally chooses to break up with you.


2. He’s always asking you for favours.

Does he ask you for financial help always such as money to fix his car or pay his utility bills and does not make any attempt to reimburse you when he is buoyant? 

This is a sign of selfishness and a sign he using you if he’s always asking you for one thing or another to solve his personal problem and not doing anything in return.

If he always needs something from you or if you feel you are the one doing things to make him happy and he doesn’t reciprocate, it simply means he is in the relationship only to satisfy his personal needs.

He is riding on the fact that you share an emotional bond and he can use that to his advantage.

You might want to make excuses for him on the grounds of love but trust me, he is only using you for his own gains.


3. He cancels plans without minding how you will feel.

Signs A Man Is Using You

Has he ever called to cancel an important meeting or engagement at the last minute without considering how you will feel? 

Did he have this air of nonchalance when you queried him about it?

Did he respond without any traces of remorse for his actions? 

This means he is assuming control of affairs about you two in a way that pleases him alone without regard for your feelings or emotions.

It is immaterial to him whatever you feel or however you process the change as long as he is not negatively affected.

A man like this definitely does not have long-term plans for you or even regard you as his significant other.

This kind of man is probably just with you because you’re good for his social or economic stand.


4. He seems less concerned about your dream or goals. 

It takes only a man who is committed to you to show interest in your dreams or goals.

generally, dreams and goals are futuristic and long-term pursuits.

as such, any man that engages in such is definitely out to keep you for a long time.

However, when you find out that your man supposedly doesn’t take any form of interest in your dreams, goals or future as a whole, it simply means he doesn’t see you as having any part of his future, neither does he see himself in yours.

When he chooses to even talk about your vision for the future, he appears to be more of a dream killer than someone who wants to help you turn it into a reality.

One of the most important qualities to look out for when going into a relationship with someone is if you both share similar values. 

If all he cares about are his dreams and personal growth without considering your dreams and goals, he is just using you. 

With such a man in your life, you will struggle to grow to be a better version of yourself and your relationship may feel toxic. 


5. He Takes Centre Stage.

Signs A Man Is Using You

One of the biggest signs that a man is using you is the fact that he cares less about you and in other terms, it means you do not matter to him. 

If he’s constantly talking about himself and the things he wants for himself without mentioning your name, it means he is not all that about you.

it means he is not interested in your life and for the record, you might just be alone in that relationship.

Everything begins and ends with him not minding if you’re left out or not.

Every activity that you do in the relationship is borne out of his own preference and hobbies, not what you both agree on.

He chooses his satisfaction over the relationship and that alone should be a pointer to the fact that he is more about himself than about the relationship.

This is more than enough evidence of the fact that he is using you for whatever purpose suits him best.


6. You don’t know any of his family members: 

What was his reaction whenever you ask him of meeting his family?

Does he sound aggressive or immediately change the topic?

When a man you are dating willingly introduces you to his family, it is a sign that he is serious about you and wants a future with you. 

But, if you have been together for a couple of months going to years, and you are yet to meet his parents or his siblings, and you know very little about his personal life, it is a clear sign you are in the wrong place.

You might be saying he is waiting for the perfect time, but I assure you that the idea of perfect timing will remain a myth to both of you.

If he is yet to introduce you to his entire family members, there should be at least one person who happens to be a family member that you should have spoken to or be acquainted with.

A man that is serious about you will definitely have done this.

When you discover you have no form of linking with his family, be sure that you’re not on the same page with that man.


7. You become one of his top secrets. 

There is a very vast difference between privacy and secrecy.

I am all for keeping the affairs of your life and relationship private and not airing your issues for the public to consume.

However, a relationship moves from private to secret where nobody knows you two are partners.

In fact,  your man can be seen galivanting as a single man in this respect.

He hides you from his close friends and goes as far as telling his neighbours that you are his relative.

He has never posted you on his social media page, not even your lunch date or happy moment.

He would rather parade himself as a single man than own up that he is in a relationship.

If he tries to keep you to himself and doesn’t want anyone to know about your relationship with him, it is a red flag that he is using you and it might end in premium tears.


8. He rarely does anything special for you. 

Signs A Man Is Using You

One of the significant ways to know if a man truly loves you is when he spends his money or time doing special things you are not expecting from him.

In a relationship, it’s all about give and take. 

On your man’s special day, you shower him with a lot of gifts, and you’re the type of woman to buy him special things here and there to prove how much you love and care for him.

On the other way round this man rarely gives you anything that shows he cares about you.

If you’re with a guy who can’t treat you special once in a while, this is a huge sign that he doesn’t mean well for you.

Another way this can show face is that he treats you the way he treats every other person in his life.

You might be thinking you’re getting a special treat from him but in reality, every other person he cares about gets treated this way.

When you find out this is the case, just know that he is using you to either pass the time or for a selfish reason.


9. He’s always manipulating you.

If he’s always manipulating you to get what he wants, it’s a sign he’s using you. 

A manipulative man is usually narcissistic in nature and when they realize they can get something good out of you, they won’t hesitate to use you to their satisfaction.

He will make promises to move the heavens for you in such a subtle and intimate tone that will make you break your resolves.

He will make sure you tune in to his desires and give him what he wants every time he comes to you.

You might even sense these gaslighting tactics and try to break the cycle but somehow, he still gets his way around you.

Normally, manipulation is done over a series of small steps, sometimes it even takes years to manipulate you to take from you what he really wants. 

He can be patient with you and even do small open acts to make you feel you’re on the same page when in the real sense of it, you are not.

Notice his patterns and styles and that way you will be able to know for sure that he is all out to use you.


10. He never accepts mistakes or failures

Signs A Man Is Using You

He displays an unwillingness to accept responsibility for his mistakes and failures; instead, he blames you for any shortcomings. 

No matter what the problem is, you are always to be blamed irrespective of the situation. 

Somehow, he is able to pin it on you as the one who caused it to happen. 

When a guy does nothing but blame you for the bad things in his life or in the relationship, he’s only putting you through emotional blackmail

In order to have a successful relationship with such a man, it’s important to remain firm in your boundaries and communicate clearly so that you don’t get taken advantage of.

A man that is always validating his wrongdoings or acts is definitely using you to stroke his ego.


In conclusion, remember to love yourself and put yourself first, once you do this you will never tolerate any toxic relationship. 

Love yourself enough to set boundaries that you can never compromise no matter what.

Be bold to teach your partner how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept from day one.