Skip to Content

Should I Be Texting Him First?

Should I Be Texting Him First?

Sharing is caring!

Personally, I’d say there is no rule as regards who reaches out first when you are dating or about to date. Sometimes, it is better to be yourself, follow your heart, as far as you aren’t doing what is morally wrong.

Some men don’t mind you reaching out first, or keeping up with text message after they initiate the conversation. Just make sure that you aren’t being too pushy.

There is every likelihood that he didn’t just give you his number but he did because he wants you both to get along. So, I think it’s not about the first to send the text now, but the content of the text and the time it is being sent.

All you need to do is to keep it simple and let him take it up from there.

Here are few questions that comes to mind when considering if to text him


#1 When Can I text him?

Courtesy demands that you don’t text people at odd hours, especially someone you barely have an intimate relationship with. So, it would be better to send the text message during the day and not at bedtime.


#2 Can I text him if we didn’t exchange numbers directly?

They say “first impression matters”, I wouldn’t advise you texting him first if he didn’t give you his number directly. He might not find it appealing if you have to go extra miles to get his contact from mutual friends, colleagues or associates.


#3 How long can it take me to respond to his first text?

It is okay to “play hard to get”, but it can be unpleasant when one deliberately ignores a courtesy text message and not reply in time. You don’t need to wait the whole day to respond if you are less busy, it doesn’t make you look cheap or mean you are over anxious to have a conversation. It just shows that you have communication ethics.


#4 Can I text him after our first date?

You do need to text him after the first date, but remember to do few hours after and not immediately. Just keep it simple and casual, especially if you haven’t taken the relationship further. You needn’t bother to be the first to text him in this case. You might just say “it was a nice date today”, “I enjoyed the meal”, could be making a joke from what happened on the date, or whatever you feel is appropriate.


#5 Can I text him first after we met and exchanged numbers?

I know times have changed, and people are getting more civilized. But it is better to wait and let him initiate the conversation first.

It is sometimes difficult to hold back, especially if he is your dream man, but if you don’t text him first, it may make him yearn for you emotionally if truly he enjoyed your company when you both met.

If he doesn’t text first, you don’t need to start making excuses in your mind, such as “did he lose my contact”, “is he waiting for the right time to message”? and more. Just let it go, if he wants your friendship, he will eventually keep in touch.


#6 Can I text him after having a casual sex?

As immoral as it may sound, one can’t shy away from the fact people have one-night stands. So, if peradventure you have a casual sex with him as a result of being drunk, or other circumstances beyond your control, it is better not to text him first.

I mean the deed has been done, to avoid further issues, it is better to let him text first. If you text him first, it might give him an impression that you are throwing yourself at him.

But if he does keep in touch afterwards, it might be that he cares about you beyond the sex.


#7 Should I text him if he hasn’t responded to the last message?

There is a thing line between being pushy and having a good communication ethics. If you two are having a chat via text message, and there is a pending issue he hasn’t responded to, you may consider giving him space, rather than bombarding him with more messages.


#8 Should I text him when I need someone to talk to?

There are moments in our lives when we just need someone to talk to, either to vent our anger when we are hurt, or to share the moody day. I’d be careful to discuss these issues with him if you are yet to know each other better.

But then, if you feel he is the only one around that can help cushion the effect of your bad moments, it’s okay to follow your heart regardless and text him.


Also Read These:

How to get to know someone

How to Make a Man Respect You Without Struggle

How To Know You Are in Love