Although people are largely individuals and I always kick against stereotypes.
However, even I know that there are certain things that are common among certain demographics.
It’s just the way the world works.
Women have certain similar traits, and so do men.
Lawyers have certain similar traits, and so do doctors.
Of course, there are exceptions, but generally, there are similarities.
I’m sure you understand what I’m trying to say, based on the topic of this article; there are certain traits that cheaters have in common.
If you find those traits, at least several of them, in a person, there is a high chance they are cheaters or will cheat someday.
So, if you’re talking to someone and want to review them, or your partner is displaying unusual traits and you just want to be sure, this post is for you.
Let me help you examine if you are with a cheater or someone likely to cheat.
A List of 15 Traits That Cheaters Have in Common
1. Lying and Deception
There is a saying I used to hear often when I was younger: that every thief is a liar.
I will borrow from it and say every cheat is a liar.
I mean, this goes without saying; that’s how they try to get away with it.
So, cheaters are often skilled liars.
They can look you in the eye and tell a bold-faced lie without flinching.
They’ll twist stories, leave out crucial details, or flat-out make things up to cover their tracks.
Like I said, it comes with the territory; they don’t want to be caught.
So, if you find yourself constantly second-guessing what someone says or catching inconsistencies in their stories, that’s a major red flag.
2. Manipulation
This is also tailor-made for cheaters; they are usually excellent manipulators.
They know how to twist situations to make themselves look innocent while making you feel like you’re overreacting or paranoid.
They will employ every tactic they can, like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or emotional blackmail, just to ensure they are not caught.
So, they may make you doubt what you know as true by skillfully denying it, or they may blame you for distrusting them until you start doubting yourself.
If you can relate to this, you are likely dealing with a cheat or maybe just a manipulator, but still dangerous.
Run for your life.
3. Low Self-Esteem
This may come as a surprise to you, but when you really think about it, you will see why it makes sense.
Many cheaters struggle with low self-esteem.
They crave external validation and seek out attention to feel good about themselves.
For that reason, they are always looking for the next best thing to boost their confidence.
This is why they cheat and move on to new people who do not know who they are, so they fan the flames of their ego.
It could be pride at being able to bag another person or an obsessive desire to be validated that cannot be solved by one person, so they seek multiple people.
Whatever the case, it is a way to deal with their insecurities, albeit selfishly.
4. Selfishness
At the core of cheating is selfishness.
Even if someone has needs, if they think about their partner, they would be able to control it.
But for cheaters, it’s all about their needs, their desires, their satisfaction; everyone else be damned.
A cheater rarely considers how deeply their actions could hurt you.
If they did, they wouldn’t do it.
5. Secretiveness
I mean, they have to be; again, they don’t want to be caught.
So, they will guard their phone like a money vault, start taking private calls in secret, or become vague about their whereabouts.
Now, I am not saying your partner has to divulge all and every information to you.
But you touching their phone shouldn’t be an issue as well, except they are working for the CIA.
If not, someone being extremely secretive and private in a relationship is likely hiding something, or in this case, someone.
6. Lack of Empathy
This might not apply to a one-time cheat.
But someone who cheats incessantly lacks emotional empathy.
They may say they love you, and maybe they do in their own selfish way, but they will never be able to put themselves in your shoes.
It takes being able to relate to someone’s pain to know how your actions affect them.
If they truly understood or cared about how deeply cheating hurts, they wouldn’t go there.
But their inability to put themselves in your shoes is part of what makes it easy for them to betray their partner over and over again.
7. Flirtatious
Many cheaters have an overly flirtatious nature.
They enjoy the attention and the thrill of knowing they can attract others.
Although they may argue that it’s harmless, when someone constantly seeks attention or validation from people outside their relationship, they will likely cheat.
There is nothing harmless about flirting; don’t be manipulated into thinking otherwise.
8. Possessiveness and Extreme Jealousy
The funny thing about cheaters is that many of them, especially the men, can be very possessive and jealous themselves.
They will want to know where you are, who you’re talking to, and why you’re smiling at your phone.
It’s because they assume you’re doing what they’re doing, so they will want to control you to make sure that’s not the case.
Sometimes, they also do it to cover for their own guilt.
It’s senseless, I know, but then again, so is cheating.
9. Distrust
Similar to the above, cheaters don’t easily trust others.
Again, it is because they feel everybody is doing what they are.
They cannot possibly imagine that some people are not doing the same thing because then, they would have to face their own demons.
It is easier for them to believe we are all bad.
So, they project.
If you find someone constantly saying things like, “everybody cheats”, they are likely cheating.
10. Thrill Seeking
I understand that life can be boring when it’s monotonous, and we should try to add some spice into our lives, and by extension, our relationships.
But when someone is always seeking the next thrill, when they are uncomfortable with stability and always like chaos, there is a possibility they will cheat.
You may have heard that stolen waters are sweet; that’s from the Bible, by the way.
That means forbidden things are exciting; the thrill of hiding something and risking being caught makes some people excited.
So, cheaters get a high from the risk and secrecy of an affair.
They enjoy the adrenaline that comes from it because they get bored easily and need constant stimulation.
11. Emotional Unavailability
Another common trait cheaters have is their struggle to form deep emotional bonds.
Being in a relationship or marriage requires an emotional commitment to one person every day.
But cheaters often struggle to do that.
They are never fully invested and are emotionally unavailable, so they can move from one person to another without feeling guilty.
12. Past Cheats
There’s a saying that “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
Now, I know this isn’t always true; I strongly believe people can cheat.
I mean, the way I am presently isn’t how I was 5 years ago, heck, maybe even 6 months ago.
So, people can improve and change if they want to.
Still, a history of cheating shouldn’t be ignored, especially when you can see the person following the same pattern.
If someone has cheated in multiple past relationships and has never done the work to change, chances are they’ll do it again.
13. Lack of Commitment
Cheaters often struggle with commitment, not just in relationships, but in other areas of life.
They avoid making long-term plans, shy away from responsibility, and fear being tied down.
That inability to commit to one partner is what makes them more likely to stray when things are getting too serious.
Sometimes, they do it to self-sabotage because they are afraid of commitment.
And other times, they are afraid of commitment because they don’t want to be tied down to one person.
14. Lack of Contentment
Some people just never feel satisfied.
No matter how much love, support, or attention they get, they always want more.
This constant craving for something new or something better usually leads them to cheat
No matter how good the relationship is, they will always feel like there is greener grass somewhere, so they will stray to try to get it.
15. Poor Boundaries
Cheaters usually have a hard time setting and respecting boundaries.
They let conversations go too far, entertain friendships that clearly cross the line, and extend the limits of what’s appropriate in a committed relationship.
Even when they are warned, they never see it.
The truth is that even if someone is not a chronic cheat, when they are not wise with boundaries, they will likely fall into that temptation someday.