I used to think that people in relationships talk about everything together.
Not until I heard a shocking story of a woman who went behind her husband to take fertility boosters after they had both agreed that they would wait for a year after marriage before they started bearing children.
Wow.
It made me realize that even though a relationship looks all lovey-dovey on the outside, partners hide a number of things from each other.
Some very important information that they should be honest about.
In every relationship, transparency and honesty are very key factors that help partners to build trust and maintain a strong connection.
Yes, it is good to have some level of privacy and independence in your relationship, but there are some things you should never keep away from your partner.
8 Things You Should Never Keep from Your Partner
1. Financial Situation
Allow this to be the first, please.
Because money has caused untold trouble for many people in relationships.
It shouldn’t be, but some people have chosen to be too secretive about financial matters with their partners.
Especially in a very committed relationship like marriage.
Your financial situation should be known to your partner.
Including changes that occur along the way.
This will help you both know the financial strength of the relationship and how you can help each other grow.
2. Personal Goals and Ambitions
I don’t know how people usually intend to do life together with someone else without actually letting the ‘someone’ into what they actually want to do with life.
Two people cannot walk together if they are not in agreement.
And your partner cannot stand in agreement about something they do not know.
If you want unity and harmony in your relationship, you must share your dreams and aspirations with your partner.
Whatever it is you want to make out of life, whether it is your career goals, your travel plans, or your personal development objectives.
Your partner deserves to know that they are with an ambitious person.
They need to know that you do not intend to stay on this job and that you have higher career ambitions.
They deserve to know that you intend to relocate.
You can’t keep taking them by surprise in the relationship.
What happens if, in the long run, you both discover that your goals and ambitions are at war?
Something you could have easily avoided if you talked to them about it at the beginning of the relationship.
3. Health Concerns
Your health is yours, and you are the chief custodian of your well-being.
But when you bring another person into your life in the place of a relationship, you become accountable to them.
It means that you are under obligation to inform them about the things going on in your life, especially the ones that affect them directly or indirectly.
And your health status affects them directly and indirectly.
Whether it is a physical or mental health challenge, hiding it from them can cause troubles in your relationship because what are they supposed to do if, on one random sunny afternoon, you begin to have episodes of something they don’t know?
And they are here looking at you, not knowing if you will survive it and not knowing what to administer to you.
That’s too much trauma to put a person through.
If you are embarrassed about your health challenge, maybe you should leave off being in a relationship.
At least till there’s someone with whom you are not embarrassed to share your health status.
4. Past Relationships
It is often not necessary to fill your current relationship with stories of past relationship escapades unless you are asked.
But there are some significant events or experiences in those relationships that you should share.
Events that have led you to where you are at the moment.
You co-purchased the apartment you stay in with your ex?
Important information – share it.
You had a child from your previous relationship?
Important information – share it.
Your intimate adventures with your ex?
Unnecessary information – keep it.
Truly, your past relationships are part of the experiences that have brought you to where you are at.
As long as the information is not disrespectful and triggering, feel at ease sharing it with your partner.
5. Family Dynamics
Relationships are such an amazing thing.
Where two people from different family backgrounds and upbringings come together to become one in heart and mind.
If you are looking at building a beautiful long term relationship with your partner, they deserve to know about your family.
What goes on with your people, your relationship with them, their culture and belief system, the family tradition, and how they ought to relate with each member of your family.
You don’t want a situation where you take your partner to meet your family, and they end the day being embarrassed, and your family is unimpressed.
You want your family to be impressed with your partner, and only you can make that happen.
Also, your family background and relationships with family members can have a significant impact on your relationship.
Don’t leave out that important information.
6. Fears and Insecurities
Nobody is a macho man.
Everyone has something that makes them whimper and shudder.
When you come into a relationship, you are expected to be vulnerable and open.
Vulnerability means that you should let your partner in on your deepest fears and insecurities.
Open up your heart and let them see through it.
That is the real intimacy.
This insecurity is not always something that has to do with the relationship.
Sometimes it may be your job security you fear.
Or maybe something with a project that is not going well.
Or maybe it is your health that is troubling you.
When you share these things with your partner, you give them an assurance that you can rely on them during tough times and let them stand by you and hold your hands.
7. Changes in Feelings or Needs
Change is inevitable.
So, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you experiencing changes in your preferences and feelings as you grow.
There’s only something wrong if you do not let them in on your new development.
You may have taken a course or encountered information that has triggered changes in you.
What you need to do is to speak to your partner about them.
“I know we like to do our workout routines in the morning, but I’m discovering that I get more results when I work out in the evening.”
And with your changes, you should know that you must still make room for compromises here and there.
Because it is one thing for you to experience changes.
It is another thing for your partner to adapt to them.
8. Secrets and Lies
You can’t possibly be asking what ‘secrets’ is doing on this list.
It is here because it is one thing you must never keep from your partner.
If it is a secret, then it is something you should tell them.
Not because it concerns them or your relationship in any way, okay
But the fact that you find it necessary to keep it a secret means it is an important part of your life.
And it might raise dust if your partner finds out from another source.
It’ll make them feel like you do not trust them and that’s why you held back sharing the information with them.
Also, you do not want to lie to your partner about anything.
Relationships are built on trust.
Anything that is not the whole truth – that thing people do when they say, “I did not tell a lie.”
But they didn’t tell the truth either.
If your partner discovers that you have been keeping secrets or telling them half-truths, they may lose trust in you.
And you don’t want your relationship to stand on a shaky trust.
Except if you are in a relationship without commitment and seriousness, there should not be any reason to hide this information from your partner.
If you both have pledged to do life together, then do it together indeed.
If you figure you can’t do life with the person, the way out is separation.
Not lies and secrets.