There are several reasons why many young people in today’s generation cringe at the thought of marriage.
If you are an active social media person, you will notice how much negativity is portrayed on the Internet about marriages.
It makes me ask myself if there is nothing good happening in marriages in the world.
Away from the media portrayal of marriages, some people have been around married people whose marriages scream toxicity and suffering.
Imagine a child who grew up in a home where the couples had very little regard for themselves or a home where the husband constantly abused his wife.
Growing up, I only learnt respect in marriage as it concerned the husband.
I never knew that respect is a two-way thing in marriage, that the husband is supposed to respect his wife as much as she respects him.
Unfortunately, we have many husbands today who do not care about respecting their wives or regarding their feelings.
It may feel like something that should not be an issue but trust me when I say that a woman whose husband respects her behaves better in the marriage than a woman who eats disrespect as a balanced diet.
Women like to feel special, and respecting your wife will make her feel extra special.
And from my years of researching and studying, I have discovered that a woman will do anything for the man who gladdens her heart.
You’re not sure your husband is the man that gladdens your heart?
You feel like your husband is disrespectful?
Walk with me through these signs, let’s check if he really is.
6 Signs Your Husband Is Disrespecting You
1. He Is Disrespectful During Arguments
You can’t hope to not experience conflict in your marriage.
You can work towards keeping it at the barest minimum, but because you are both humans, you both will surely disagree on some matter or misunderstand each other every now and then.
But having disagreements is not even the problem, it is how you handle them that will tell the health of your relationship.
Do you both have a conflict resolution mechanism that works?
Or does your husband resort to name-calling, insults, or yelling during arguments?
Healthy conflict resolution involves discussing issues calmly and respectfully, even when emotions are running high.
Or leaving off discussion till you both are calm and collected.
If your husband is toxic during conflict, it’s probably because he doesn’t respect you.
2. He Criticizes You in Front of Others
Is there anything wrong with criticism?
I think not.
If handled the way it should, criticism helps the criticized to grow and become better.
But do people like to be criticized?
No.
Especially not in public.
And unless the situation calls for it, I personally think it is wrong to highlight someone’s insufficiencies in public.
If you are doing it to help the person grow and become better, you do not want to pull down their self esteem while at it.
If your husband often makes snide remarks or belittles you in public, it’s a sign that he doesn’t respect you.
He has little regard for how you feel or for your self esteem.
And doing this also opens up the door for other people to disrespect and demean you.
Even if you’re very good at other things, if your husband highlights your inabilities more, that is what people will see more.
Public criticism is not only humiliating, it is also a form of control.
It usually causes serious damage to a person’s self-esteem.
3. He Ignores Your Boundaries
When you set up your boundaries, you’re telling people how far they can go in your life and what they are not allowed to do.
Typically placing a limit and drawing a line between what you can endure and what is too much for you.
In every healthy relationship, both parties should have well spelt out boundaries that help them to know what their partner wants and how they should treat each other.
Staying within the confines of boundaries shows that you respect your partner and you support individuality in your marriage.
But if your husband has a habit of doing things that you do not like or overstepping boundaries in the marriage, you can tell that he does not regard you as a person.
Boundaries are not meant to shut out our spouse from our lives, they are made to promote individuality and independence among the couple.
And you know you have a healthy relationship when you both can frequently review your boundaries to accommodate each other from time to time.
When you set limits on certain behaviors and he continues to overstep, it’s a sign of disrespect.
4. He Makes Decisions Without Consulting You
Marriage is teamwork.
At every point, the couple should be able to work together, make decisions together, and keep each other updated about their day to day lives.
I know a lot of people say couples should not make significant decisions without consulting with each other first.
But I feel like you should not make any decision that will affect you, your spouse, or your marriage in any way without consulting with your spouse first or bringing them in along the way.
It shows that you love and respect your spouse, and that their opinion matters in your life.
When you see a man who has the habit of making decisions without his wife, you can tell that he is practicing dictatorship in his family.
He believes that he has the power to make any decision he wants to make without having to consult with his wife.
Sometimes, he goes as far as making the decision and imposing it on his wife.
It goes to show how little the value he places on his wife is.
And how much he disregards her opinion.
5. He Dismisses Your Feelings
When you go to your husband to air your feelings about something for instance, telling him how you feel about him making decisions without consulting with you what does he do?
Does he listen to you carefully before telling his own side of the story?
Does he apologize and promise to make amends?
Your feelings are valid and deserve to be acknowledged.
When your husband begins to dismiss your feelings, telling you that you’re overreacting, being too sensitive, or making a big deal out of nothing, you can tell that he doesn’t care about how you feel.
He does not take your feelings into consideration in the marriage, and when you bring it to him, he still disregards it.
Chances are he is falling out of love with you.
6. He Doesn’t Show Appreciation
Unpopular opinion: ingratitude is a form of disrespect.
It is a way of saying that you do not value or regard a person and what they’ve done for you or that their effort means nothing to you.
It is very disrespectful.
You’re not entitled to your spouse’s help in any way, because they could choose to not do anything for you and there’s little or nothing you can do about it.
If they are kind enough to fill up a gap in your life, you should be able to show gratitude for it.
And I know how hurtful it can be if your husband rarely acknowledges your efforts or takes you for granted.
And the little seed of ingratitude planted can become resentment in the heart of the unappreciated, making them feel like their contributions to the marriage are not valued.
Hey, girl
You deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness.
You are deserving of everything good and beautiful.
Don’t ever believe anything less.
Don’t ever settle for anything less.
Here’s me rooting for you and hoping that your man becomes more respectful towards you.