People who are relationship-active (I don’t know if this is a thing) are most likely people who have the most interesting stories to tell.
Because as long as you are active in the relationship market, you will approach and be approached by various types of people, with different lifestyles.
Among these numerous interesting people, the ones who really trigger my interest are the ones who get into a relationship with someone who they do not love.
No, not in a mutual agreement kind of setting where they know that this romantic relationship is not built on love and romance (the irony), but the one where one partner (in this case, the woman) loves her man, and the man pretends to love the woman.
Yes, you read that right – pretense.
I have many questions.
Why do you pretend to love someone among the numerous things to pretend about in this world?
Well, in today’s edition, we’re not dealing with the “why.”
Today is the day to help a beautiful woman recognize that she may be in a relationship with someone who is insincere with her and what she should do about it.
So, what are we looking out for in a pretending lover?
5 Signs He’s Pretending to Love You
1. He is inconsistent
Why will a man who loves you (or says so) not be consistent in his behavior with you?
Today, he is all over you and loves you, and the next day, you’re asking yourself many questions about his love for you.
I may not know so much about the way a man behaves when he’s in love –
For one, men have different ways of expressing their love to their partners.
While some are very expressive, there are others who seemingly do not have the ability to express love –
But if there’s one thing I know, it is that if a man genuinely loves you, you will know for sure—expressed or unexpressed.
Love is consistent when it is genuine because it is not an act; it is a natural flow.
So you should pay attention.
If his actions and words fluctuate dramatically or are not in a symphony, that may be your first sign of knowing that the man who loves you may only be pretending to love you.
2. He is selfish
Another thing I know from experience and research about men and love is that a man who loves you will go out of his way to please you.
No, you wouldn’t need to ask.
Seeing you pleased and happy is already a booster for his ego.
So you wouldn’t need to ask or demand things before he does them.
He will spend on you, make sacrifices for you, and make compromises to accommodate your excesses.
And it wouldn’t feel like he is doing anything inconveniencing at all.
But your man—the one who says he loves you—cannot move a pin for you without making you feel like you are making him move mountains, right?
No. It’s not like he wants to be selfish.
It’s just that he is not thinking of you.
You do not occupy his thoughts.
He is always busy?
He has more pressing things to attend to with money so there isn’t enough for you?
I’ll tell you what my father said to me.
“When it comes to the person you love, there is nothing like ‘more pressing.’ That kind of comparison should not exist.
The one you love is a priority.
Every other thing has its own place.”
I hope you get to see him in love so you can see that he has all the time in the world and just about enough money to spend on his lover.
As long as there’s pretense, it’ll always be difficult for him to show natural empathy towards your feelings.
3. He Avoids Commitment
I don’t know if you’ve been with a man who was only pretending to love you.
Or maybe you’re with one at this time.
Let’s do a little test together.
Engage him in a conversation about the future of your relationship.
Or maybe in a discussion about his long-term plan (this will help you see where you fit into his future).
Or mention casually that you want to introduce him to your family.
His response will be the key.
If he starts getting nervous, changing the subject, or avoiding the conversation altogether, then it’s a clear sign that he is afraid of commitment and pretending to love you.
As hard as this truth may sound, I think it is better that you hear it now than continue living a lie.
The man who is pretending to love you doesn’t exactly see a future with you.
To him, you’re maybe a short-term (or even a not-so-long long-term) plan to achieve his goals.
And as soon as he has what he wants, he is done.
So, in any case, if you raise up any of the discussions I suggested above, you’ll be in for a ride watching him avoid engaging in them.
If he sees you as just a means to an end, then it will only make sense that he protects himself from becoming too attached or committed to you just so he can reach his goals.
4. He makes no effort
As I always like to point out, every time I talk about relationships – there must be effort.
Relationships are beautiful, and relationships are sweet, but the relationship that will work requires hard work from both parties.
Everyone must put in the work with the same amount of passion.
There must be synergy in their energy.
And in genuine relationships, nobody needs to tell the partners this.
They naturally know.
To please their better half they sometimes have to do some things that they normally don’t, or refrain from doing things that they like to do.
No matter how inconvenient this may be, the end result, which is pleasing their partner, always leaves them feeling fulfilled.
But in a relationship where the man is only pretending to love the woman, he would not try too hard.
That is if he tries at all.
He is not displeasing or inconveniencing himself in any way just to please a woman he doesn’t really care about.
If it is you feeling like you are in a one-sided relationship and you’re the only one making the effort, you may not be wrong at all about being in a one-sided relationship.
Your man is putting in no effort because he hasn’t got enough reason to.
5. He withholds affection
One of the primary reasons people enter relationships is to have that one person with whom they can share their deepest affections—both physical and emotional.
Affection is a basic aspect of every romantic relationship.
So, it is normal to want to connect with your man physically and emotionally.
Then, you realize that it is somewhat of a struggle.
Something just doesn’t click.
It feels like you’re imposing yourself on him, or you’re too clingy.
You may want to take a pause and consider it.
Are you the one who is too clingy, or is he the one who never clings?
Are you the one who is too emotional, or is he the one who lacks empathy?
If your man is always withholding affection, whether through lack of intimacy or emotional distance, it may be your sign that his feelings for you are not genuine.
What To Do?
I’ve said it here earlier, and I’ll say it as many times as I can.
If a man loves you as a woman, you will know.
So, if you feel like he doesn’t actually love you as he is pretending to, girl, your instincts are not wrong.
First off, the fact that there is room for such doubt to creep in means there is something wrong.
So, if you find yourself in this situation, please trust your instincts.
Keep your eyes open and look for the signs.
It is normal to want to confront him about his pretense and seek clarity about the relationship, but what is more important is your well-being.
You can take time to reevaluate the dynamics of your relationship.
First, ask yourself the necessary questions before you confront him (if you will).
If you are unsure how to proceed, you can seek the help of someone you trust who is well-versed in relationship matters.
Or still seek the professionalism of a relationship counselor.
As you seek satisfaction and fulfillment in relationships, always remember that you deserve to be with someone who is truly into you.