Growing up, 7 Keys was the name of a medication used for treating skin diseases.
We all used it as children—smallpox, chicken pox, measles, and other skin diseases that plagued children.
Now we are looking at 7 keys for something that ‘plagues’ us as adults—a happy marriage.
If you follow a ‘seemingly’ happy couple on social media, you may be led to believe that you too can achieve a happy marriage by snapping your fingers.
I quoted seemingly because not everything you see on social media is true.
Most of them are a scripted illusion of what is real.
This doesn’t mean that there aren’t happy marriages.
It just means that you should not take everything you see on social media to heart.
In a happy marriage, both you and your spouse are fulfilled, loved, and valued.
This does not eliminate the fact that there will be challenges here and there.
But challenges are no threat to happy marriages because both partners are willing and intentional about facing every challenge together.
Let’s consider 7 sure keys to a happier marriage.
7 Tested And Trusted Keys to Build A Happier Marriage
1. Give
People love to receive gifts, even when it is not their primary love language.
Everyone appreciates a random thoughtful gift.
It makes them feel loved, seen, and appreciated.
If you want to build a happy marriage, you need to cultivate the habit of giving to your spouse.
No matter how buoyant your spouse is, they do not have everything.
And even if they had everything, they wouldn’t despise a thoughtful gift from you.
Now don’t make the mistake of limiting gifts to just material things.
You can give them your time, compliments, encouragement, and a helping hand.
The key is to know what they need and try to fill in the gap.
If you have been in a situation where your spouse didn’t appreciate what you gave them, it is probably because you didn’t give them what they needed.
2. Spend Time With Each Other
You can’t build a marriage if you do not have time for your spouse.
Talk less of a happy marriage.
We all know how busy life can get and how overwhelming it can be to try to balance work life and married life.
But you know one thing I also discovered?
When people are dating, they tend to be able to make out time for their partners.
But when they get married, it becomes really difficult to make out time for their spouse.
Why?
Because you now live with the person?
Living with a person who you do not spend time with is like living with a roommate.
Don’t let work, children, and other responsibilities take center stage in your marriage if you are looking at building a happy and beautiful marriage.
Every other thing is secondary.
The most important thing is your relationship with your spouse.
The thing about spending time with your spouse is the fact that it doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive; you just need to be present and enjoy each other’s company
3. Be Grateful and Show Appreciation
Your spouse is a blessing to you.
You need to come into this truth early enough in marriage if you want your marriage to be a happy one.
But even if you have been married for a while and you’ve not yet accepted this truth, it is not too late.
I find that after couples have been together for a while, they begin to take their spouse for granted.
The person who used to be your miracle is now a common person in your lives.
Then you’ll begin to feel like they are not enough or that they are not doing enough.
All these thoughts allow negativity to find its way into your marriage.
When you decide to be intentionally grateful for your partner and your marriage, you begin to see all the good things happening in your marriage and it becomes an endless flow of gratitude.
Make it a habit to acknowledge and appreciate the little things your partner does for you.
A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and loved.
Remember that a happy marriage is one where both partners feel valued and loved.
4. Be Willing to Compromise
One way to know that you are in a healthy relationship is the presence of compromise.
You and your spouse are two different people with different ideologies and life’s opinions based on the fact that you both had different upbringing and exposure.
They say in marriage the two become one.
Yes, it happens in compromise.
Compromise is when you both find a middle point in the midst of your differences.
So you meet at a point where you both can agree and be satisfied.
It is at this point you become one with your spouse.
When you are living the kind of life where you always want to be right and have your way, you and your spouse are still two people living separate lives.
You have not yet come together to become one.
Compromise doesn’t mean you should give up on all your needs or desires, but you must be able to make adjustments that accommodate your spouse.
When you are both willing to bend a little, it’s easier to resolve conflicts and maintain harmony.
5. Hold Your Spouse Up
There is the institution of marriage primarily because being alone does not work for man.
So how is it that you are married and alone?
Marriage is supposed to build partnership and support.
You should be able to hold your spouse up in their careers and personal ambitions.
You should also hold them up during their trying times.
Provide a shoulder for them to lean on, cheer them on all the way to success, and encourage them to try again when they fail.
Let them know that you are interested in their lives and that you are there to walk with them and bear their burdens all through the way.
When you both support each other, you are more likely to do better both as an individual and as a couple.
6. Learn to Forgive
Sometimes, we look at other people’s marriages and assume they are bubbling because the couples are perfect people.
Sorry to disappoint you.
People strive and work hard to be better people, but they still make mistakes occasionally.
There really isn’t anything like a perfect person, but there are people who try; people who are putting in the work.
Your spouse may be putting in the work, but will still make mistakes.
You must learn to be swift to forgive.
Holding on to grudges won’t help you if you are seeking a happy marriage.
It will only help if you are seeking a sad and hate-filled marriage.
So, address issues, resolve conflicts, and move on as quickly as possible.
Don’t give negativity the room to spread in your marriage.
7. Resolve Conflicts Constructively.
There’s no marriage where the couples do not experience conflicts.
Conflict is like a characteristic of life, or maybe of human relations.
Because when two people with different lifestyles come together to interact, there’s bound to be clashes of ideas and opinions, misunderstandings, disagreements, etc.
Conflicts are not threats to a happy marriage.
What threatens your marriage is your inability to handle conflict constructively.
You and your spouse must come up with ways in which you can resolve conflicts in your home without compromising on mutual respect and commitment.
Yelling at each other and disrespecting each other during conflicts will only give room to resentment.
However, when conflicts are handled responsibly, there’s peace and harmony in the home.
In real life, we have seen people who have put in the work to achieve a happy marriage, and we can tell you for sure that a happier marriage isn’t a myth; it is a reality that couples can achieve with effort, understanding, and love.
The question is, are you humble and willing enough to do the work needed?
If you have pride and are more willing to save your ego than your marriage, it is only a matter of time before your marriage goes down the drain.