When you start a new relationship, it’s only natural to wonder whether your partner has fully moved on from their past.
The last thing you want is for old baggage to interfere with the fresh connection you’re building.
But again, at the early stage of your relationship, it will be improper to ask your ex about his past relationships.
You need to focus on building trust and let them open up about their past when they are ready.
But maybe you’ve noticed something fishy, and it has left you wondering whether or not your partner is over their ex.
Listed here are 7 signs that show you that your partner is over their ex.
7 Ways to Know Your Partner Has Gotten Over Their Ex
1. They Don’t Compare You to Their Ex
I feel like I’m not the only one on the “don’t ever compare me to anyone else” table.
If you hate me or dislike something about me, say it directly to me.
Talk to me and say nasty things to me, I may not mind.
But it becomes a problem when you place me in comparison to someone else.
I don’t ever want you to do that.
Unfortunately, one of the biggest signs that someone is still hung up on their ex is that they’ll constantly compare you to them.
You may not even know that they’re doing it in their minds, or they may actually be vocal about it.
But whether they’re doing it subtly or openly, it will reflect in their attitude towards you.
If your partner never compares you to their ex and appreciates you for who you are, you can bet that they’re over their ex and have moved on.
They’re now focused on you and the unique relationship you’re building together.
2. Their Ex Isn’t a Frequent Topic of Conversation
We cannot exactly erase having our past relationships coming up every now and then in our conversations with our partners.
It was a part of our lives and some of our life’s experiences are wrapped around it.
But we all know that it is wise to try as much as possible to avoid talking about your ex in your new relationship.
And if you are over your ex, these mentions should be rare.
Only once in a blue moon when you are discussing something relevant.
But if you have a partner who keeps talking about their ex, they’ve most likely not completely moved on.
3. They Don’t Stalk Their Ex on Social Media
I usually find it easy to blame social media for most of the mishap people use it for.
Social media is not to be blamed, of course.
It’s just that if it weren’t there, I wouldn’t even have access to some people’s display of lack of sense.
Again, social media was made for better purposes, but it has also made it easier for people to keep tabs on people from their past, including their exes.
It’s one thing to stumble on someone on social media.
It is another thing to continually open your apps and head straight to their profile to check out what you had missed from the last time you were there.
If your partner never take trips to their ex’s social media profile, or follows them with so much enthusiasm and energy, it is easier to believe that they have moved on from that aspect of their past.
Some serious minded people even go an extra mile to unfollow or block their exes – to emphasize their seriousness about moving on.
4. They’re Open About Their Past but Focused on the Future
For someone who has moved on, they usually do not see the need to hide anything from their past as you would clearly see that they are focused on the future.
A healthy relationship is built on trust and transparency.
When we talk about transparency, we include being open about past relationships.
I’d mentioned in a previous post that your partner may not be open about their ex at the beginning of a relationship, and it is wrong to probe them about it.
As trust is established in your relationship, your partner becomes more open about deeper things in their lives – including their past relationships.
At this point you can watch the tone with which they have this conversation.
If they talk about their past relationship without any bitterness or nostalgia, you can best believe they’ve moved on and are now more focused on their relationship with you.
And you’ll find that your partner will be interested in talking about your future together rather than dwelling on the past.
5. They’ve Established Boundaries With Their Ex
Imagine a situation where you’re in your partner’s house, and you discover that their ex is still granted the same access as they had into the house just as it was when they were in a relationship with your partner.
A person who has moved on from their ex and is in a new relationship should not be entertaining visitations from their ex, unless a situation seriously calls for it.
But is it not too extreme that your ex still has your keys and passwords?
Is it not too extreme that they come in unannounced and uninvited, and let themselves in and have access to do whatever it is they want to do while they’re there?
If your partner has children or shares other significant ties with their ex, it’s normal for them to have some form of contact.
But boundaries are clearly communicated and strictly adhered to when your partner has moved on from their ex.
They respect you and your relationship enough to ensure that their past doesn’t interfere with your present.
6. They Don’t Have Any Sentimental Keepsakes
I am a keeper.
It pleases me so much to keep things that hold memories for me.
But that doesn’t mean that I’ll keep or hold on to keepsakes from my past relationships and disrespect my current partner.
Keepsakes are sentimental items.
One way to know that your partner has gotten over their ex is that they do away with the items that hold very fond memories and connect them to the relationship they had with their ex.
Some people still hold on to those things, and I think it is disrespectful to their present relationship that they are still hoarding physical items from their past relationship.
7. They Don’t Exhibit Signs of Jealousy Over Their Ex
Why should you be jealous over your ex?
Especially if you’re already in a new relationship.
Why do you feel threatened that your ex is talking to someone else, or that they are moving on and getting into a new relationship?
If you have truly moved on from your ex, it should not even concern you what is going on in their lives.
You should have cut off all unnecessary ties with your ex before even getting into a new relationship.
It is only when you are keeping tabs on your ex’s life that you get to have information on when they are moving on and when they are getting into another relationship, and so on.
So if your partner doesn’t exhibit signs of jealousy when their ex moves on or starts dating someone new, they’ve accepted that the relationship is over and are now focused on building something beautiful with you.
The truth of the matter is the person who is not over his ex will never accept that they are not over their ex.
It is left for you to decide what it is you want to do when you discover that your partner is not over his ex.
And that is if they are exhibiting the exact opposite of what we’ve listed here.
You can consider speaking with professionals – counselors or a therapist – about the signs that you have noticed.
You should know that a strong, healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and a shared vision for the future.
But if your partner is exhibiting the signs listed above, it shows that they are over their ex and ready to build something special with you.