Does your husband really hate you?
Your man, the absolute love of your life.
The one who stood before a crowd to profess his love for you and pledge commitment to you.
The one who promised to hold you dear till he dies.
How is it that he hates you?
You see, the issue of a switch in affection between married couples is usually difficult to comprehend.
How do people go from being head over heels in love with each other to detesting the very sight of themselves?
Marriage is a venture in life that, if not properly managed, can cause unsolicited troubles for the people involved.
It is the responsibility of married couples to see to it that their marriage works out for them.
Marriage in itself can be a fulfilling experience, but what are the issues in the marriage that are making you feel like your husband hates you?
“Why Does My Husband Hate Me?”7 Possible Reasons
1. Unresolved Conflicts
I spoke to a young boy who was fighting with his friend and asked him why he fought with his friend.
He said his friend was being insulting.
When I begged him to forgive his friend, he said something that made me think.
He said, “I can’t forgive him. It’s not everyone who is worthy of forgiveness.”
This probably made you feel somehow towards this boy, right?
But are you aware that some married couples live like this?
For them, they don’t have time to talk to anybody about what they have done.
Like my people will say, “Everybody sabi wetin dem dey do.”
This means everyone is fully conscious of whatever it is they are doing as well as its possible consequence.
The result of adopting this strategy is a pile of unresolved conflicts.
And when these conflicts stay unaddressed for a long time, they begin to breed resentment and hatred.
It is the reason every married couple must learn to resolve conflict as it arises.
Speak your mind concerning an issue and iron it out in order to keep resentment out of your home.
2. Stress and External Pressures
What does your husband do?
What keeps him on his toes through the day?
Again, what is his stress level?
Do you know that external stressors such as work, financial issues, or family problems can strain an innocent marriage?
Your husband is going through this stress because of the marriage.
And they may be termed “external”, but they are vital parts of the marriage.
When he becomes overwhelmed by these pressures, he tends to be irritable and withdrawn, leaving you feeling unloved or hated.
But you can easily deal with this one by providing as much support to him as possible.
If you are financially buoyant, give him a break from the family’s expenses once in a while.
Maybe for a day or two.
Buy everything from your pocket for that day and let him rest from expenses.
Do you know I was surprised to see on a social media thread that women do not send their men money?
I am assuming that for your husband to be going through work and financial stress, he must be the sole provider in the home.
So send him money once in a while.
Take him out on a treat.
Take him to a spa.
Treat him to a good haircut.
These things help to reduce the stress he’s going through and the amount of pressure he feels.
Because he’s more likely to resent you if he does all these things for the family and gets no help or support from you.
3. Changes in Individual Needs and Desires
People evolve, and so do their needs and desires.
Someone may like one thing today and just want something completely different the next day.
That’s why they say change is inevitable.
Especially with humans.
So you shouldn’t think that what brought you two together initially is what will keep you connected years down the line.
So, if your husband seems unhappy or you’re beginning to feel like he doesn’t like you, it might be because his needs have changed, and he feels they are not being met.
If this is the case with yours, it is simple to handle.
You just need to ask him what his current needs are.
They couldn’t possibly be things you can’t handle.
And if they are, you can still learn on the way.
Just seeing your effort towards his well-being can make him have a change of heart and become more happy.
4. Infidelity and Trust Issues
Does your husband hate you?
Did you cheat on him?
Did you break his trust?
A proverb from the wise King Solomon comes to mind now: “You cannot take hot coals in your garment and not expect to be burned.”
There are some things you will do in your marriage, and you don’t expect things to remain the same.
For instance, infidelity.
Infidelity can severely damage trust and lead to feelings of betrayal and hatred.
This is why people would rather get a divorce than spend their whole lives living in the same space with someone they hate.
Or maybe you did not cheat, but you used the trust in your marriage to play games.
Whatever it is, when your husband cannot trust you again and cannot rest easy in your love, you will begin to feel like he hates you.
Because he will look for every opportunity to stay away from you to protect himself and his children, if there are any.
5. Differences in Parenting Styles
This is one very important premarital conversation a couple must have.
Parenting can bring joy but can also cause stress and disagreements in the marriage.
This is why intending couples must be able to know if they can raise children together or not.
Because as soon as the children come, this decision cannot be made anymore.
Except in the death of one of the spouses, the responsibility of raising the children lies on both parties.
Differences in parenting styles can lead to serious conflicts.
The kind of conflict you didn’t even imagine can stem from differences in parenting.
But if you are already in marriage and feel your husband hates you because of your parenting style, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.
Both of you should discuss and agree on a parenting strategy that works for you and be willing to compromise.
If you stay consistent and cooperative with the chosen parenting style, you should be able to reduce the strain on your relationship.
6. Mental Health Issues
Mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or other disorders can affect a person’s behavior and relationships.
If you have had to deal with a mental health challenge before, you will know this.
There are several manifestations, a lot of which cannot be explained.
If your husband is struggling with his mental health, this might manifest as being easily irritated or might cause him to be withdrawn.
And you may misinterpret this behavior as hatred, especially if you do not know what is going on with him.
So you should check regularly with your husband to know the state of his mind.
If you observe any kind of irregularities, you should encourage him to seek professional help.
Being supportive during this time for him can make a significant difference in his attitude towards you.
7. Personal Insecurities
Does your husband have self-esteem issues?
Or is he carrying baggage from past hurts?
You see, relationships and marriages are truly for people who are whole.
Who are complete by themselves.
They know their self-worth and have healed from whatever hurts they may have experienced in the past.
Because people who are unsure of their self-worth will also be unsure of the way their spouse values them.
Those who are holding on to baggage from the past will continue to feel that they will experience the same thing they experienced in their past relationships.
These sets of people tend to project negative feelings onto their partners and their marriage.
If you feel like your husband is not relating kindly with you, chances are he is dealing with personal insecurities
And if he is, it will affect how he interacts with you.
As soon as you begin to feel like your husband hates you, you should address the situation immediately.
You don’t want to breed toxicity in your marriage or get to a place where you also begin to resent him.
Two wrongs never make one right.