It’s quite surprising how some matters have become so common that they spark questions with seemingly hard-to-understand answers.
For instance, you might ask, ‘Why do married men cheat?’ or ‘What motivates a married man to engage in an affair outside of his marriage?’
Marriage is, after all, a solemn commitment, one that requires daily dedication.
This raises the confusing question of why some married men appear nonchalant about honoring this vow.
We want to be clear that we do not condone infidelity, but we do recognize that every action has a motivation.
Hence, we aim to point out the wheel of what drives married men to seek extramarital affairs.
We want you to have a grasp of the underlying factors that contribute to these complex situations.
What Does A Married Man Want In An Affair? 7 Possible Things
1. They want to rekindle youthfulness
Do you remember how it feels like when you are in the early stages of a relationship?
When everything is exciting and full of fun?
Okay, some married guys want a slice of that sweetness again.
They miss the fun of feeling young, passionate, and desired like they did when they first fell in love.
So, an affair is the secret pill that makes them feel alive and vibrant once more.
They are just chasing that youthful spark they might be missing in their marriage.
2. What’s missing at home
There could be a couple of important things missing, things the man is not getting from his wife.
First off, intimacy.
Maybe you and your partner used to be all cuddly, affectionate, and close, but now those moments are scarce.
That can make some guys think about looking for those warm, welcoming feelings somewhere else.
Then there’s the communication.
Like moments of talking with your spouse and sharing your thoughts and feelings.
If these things have become a rarity, man would most likely start to feel lonely, making him look elsewhere for someone who will listen.
In simple terms, it is searching for what he used to have but does not have anymore.
These missing pieces can be powerful motivators for some guys to seek comfort and connection outside their marriage.
3. Just for variety and adventure
For some married guys, life can become predictable, maybe even a bit boring.
Marriage often settles into a routine.
Something like wake up, go to work, come home, and repeat.
You feel like you are watching the same movie over and over again.
When a married man meets someone new, someone who’s not part of their daily routine.
This new person brings a sense of excitement and adventure, like a thrilling road trip they have been craving.
They might feel that spark, that buzz of doing something they have not done in a while, and it can be addictive.
Affairs can become a way for these guys to escape the monotony of everyday life and experience something different, something that makes them feel alive again.
It’s like a shot of adrenaline in an otherwise mundane existence.
They won’t think of the consequences or hurt this adventure can bring; they would take it anyway.
4. Because there is no string attached
In a typical marriage, there are responsibilities and commitments, you know?
There are bills to pay and chores to do, and sometimes it feels like there is a weight of expectation on your shoulders.
Now, for some married men, affairs offer a way to escape all that.
Most of these affairs are transactional.
Give and take, no commitment.
Having an affair without any strings attached means they can have fun and enjoy the company of someone else without the complications that come with marriage.
It’s a secret escape where they don’t have to worry about the typical issues that come with a committed relationship.
Somehow, we can say this is a way of having a cake and eating it too.
They can experience the fun and excitement of a new relationship without the responsibilities and expectations that marriage often comes with.
5. They want to do what their friends do
Just like in school when your friends might influence your choices, sometimes married men find themselves in situations where their buddies or colleagues are having affairs.
It can be tempting to follow the crowd, especially if they feel like they are missing out on something exciting.
Seeing their peers engage in extramarital affairs might make some men think if their friends can do it, they can too.
They want to fit in or be part of the cool group.
This peer pressure can push them to try something they might not have considered on their own, leading to affairs outside of their marriages.
6. Lack of self-control
Temptation and lust are in the air, and some married men don’t know how to control themselves; they just go with the flow.
They can’t just resist the tempting dessert.
Lack of self-control plays a significant role in why married men engage in affairs outside their marriages.
Some married men struggle with controlling their impulses and desires.
When they find themselves in a situation where someone shows interest in them, they might not have the willpower to say no.
It’s like giving in to a craving, even if they know it’s not the right thing to do.
So, a lack of self-control would lead them down a path where they make impulsive decisions, like having an affair, without thinking through the consequences.
It’s similar to being on a diet but sneaking in an extra piece of cake when no one’s looking.
This lack of self-control is a powerful force that drives them to have affairs outside of their marriages.
7. When the man is immature and lacks experience
Some married men, especially those who married young or haven’t had many previous relationships, might not have developed the emotional maturity to handle the challenges of marriage.
See it like your early years when you might not have had much relationship experience.
When they face difficulties in their marriage, instead of addressing these issues with maturity, they might resort to having an affair as a way to escape or cope.
They haven’t yet learned how to walk the ups and downs of a committed relationship, so they make impulsive and often regrettable decisions.
In a sense, it’s like trying to drive a car without proper training.
Their immaturity and inexperience can lead them down the wrong path, making them susceptible to the idea of extramarital affairs as an easy way out of their marriage problems.
As we conclude the exploration into the minds of married men who find themselves in affairs.
We’ve learned that it’s not as simple as it might seem.
Life and relationships are complicated, and affairs are just a part of the whole.
Marriage is a promise, a commitment to stand by each other through everything.
But sometimes, life happens, and people make choices they might regret.
Please, let’s be clear: we’re not here to support or endorse infidelity.
In fact, we encourage working on issues together in the best ways.
Still, we also understand that life isn’t always black and white.
Every situation is unique, and there are reasons why some men find themselves in affairs.
Just have it at the back of your mind that there are choices.
It’s never easy, but there’s always a right path.