A deal breaker is a character, behavior, or issue that one or both partners consider unacceptable or intolerable in a partnership.
It is something that, if present or unresolved, can lead to the end of the partnership.
What constitutes a deal breaker usually varies from person to person, as it is often based on individual values, priorities, and boundaries.
As much as it is applicable in every other form of partnership, it is also applicable in a romantic relationship.
In this case, a deal breaker would be anything either of the parties cannot tolerate in a romantic relationship.
We had already established that deal breakers work differently for different people.
But in romantic relationships, there are very common ones that may be very subtle and unseen, but can be seen to the end of the relationship.
Let’s consider them.
Unveiling 9 Hidden Relationship Deal Breakers You Should Be Aware Of
1. Lack of Communication
“This is how I am. I don’t like to talk so I can actually stay for a while without talking to my partner.”
This can actually work for you.
However, through research, we have discovered that lack of communication is one of the major hidden deal breakers.
Generally, people like to be in continuous conversation with their partners, sharing events and occurrences in their lives.
They also like to have people who can talk to them, listen to them, and truly understand them.
Communication is the way they are able to know themselves and resolve issues that may arise within the relationship.
So many times, lack of communication within the relationship is a deal breaker for the partners.
2. Misaligned Values
I like to use this quote from the Bible a lot because it is so apt.
“Can two walk together except they are agreed?”
A person can like another person so much and get into a relationship with them.
Then, along the way, they discover that their value doesn’t match that of their partners.
It will definitely break the deal for them.
Yes, differences can enrich and beautify a relationship.
But fundamental mismatches in values somehow will continue to breed conflict and dissatisfaction.
You know, beliefs about family, money, religion, and lifestyle choices are all valid in the grand scheme of things.
It is the reason they must identify and discuss these differences early on to prevent future heartache.
3. Lack of Boundaries
As much as people would love to spend their lives together when they enter a relationship, healthy boundaries are still necessary.
Boundaries tell a lot about the type of person you are, what you can allow and tolerate, and what is off the hook for you.
They help a lot in maintaining each other’s individuality and mutual respect within a relationship.
Overstepping your partner’s boundaries is a common deal-breaker, and so is life without boundaries.
Everything cannot go your way, and your partner needs to know that you have the discipline to stay true to your beliefs.
4. Unfulfilled Expectations
When you are getting into a relationship, make sure to know what they expect from you, and if you will be able to meet up with them.
You should also make sure that they know your expectations and are able to fulfill them.
When people’s expectations are not clearly defined in a relationship, chances are that the relationship will be sabotaged.
Each partner must be well versed in their role and responsibility in the relationship.
Because when two people come together without defining their expectations of each other, they set themselves up for unnecessary heartache.
5. Emotional Unavailability
I think one of the major reasons people get into relationships is to have someone they can call their own person.
And this is to breach that vacuum in them that makes them feel lonely.
It is the reason you should always be emotionally available for your partner.
Because why does your partner have you and is still lonely?
Emotional unavailability is one major trigger of infidelity.
Because as long as your partner keeps feeling lonely, they will keep looking for someone to fill that gap.
Show your partner that you are there for them by being available when they need emotional support, holding their hands through difficult times, and placing priority on shared vulnerability.
6. Lack of Support
It is true that people do not need to wait for validation from others before they know their worth.
But there’s something that having your partner stand by you and support you through your life’s endeavors does to you.
It gives you this extra strength to do the things you already know how to do.
It lets you see and know that you are seen and that the things you are doing are worth doing.
When you have a supportive partner, you have someone who will uplift you and encourage you through life’s troubles.
However, having a partner who does not support your pursuit or validate your efforts can make you lose the strength to do the things you do.
It can make you doubt yourself and question the value of what you are doing.
This lack of support can lead to feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, and even resentment towards your partner.
7. Trust Issues
I have mentioned before that people who do not trust each other to a certain level have no business being in a romantic relationship with each other.
Because it is like the first step.
What you do when you get into a relationship is give your heart to someone—mostly a stranger.
You need some level of trust to even make that first move.
So if you are one who is unable to trust your partner, you are already creating a deal breaker for your relationship.
It is true that there is going to be some level of jealousy in the relationship.
Because your partner is yours, and you want to keep them to yourself as much as possible.
But all those insecurities, suspicions, and dishonesty are completely unnecessary.
When you truly trust your partner, you don’t feel the need to constantly check up on them or question their every move.
8. Lack of Intimacy
Most times, when people hear intimacy, they think it’s sexual.
But intimacy isn’t just about two people sexually satisfying themselves.
Because there are people in premarital relationships who do not engage in sexual intimacy.
So intimacy goes way beyond that.
It encompasses every physical, emotional, and spiritual connection between partners.
No matter what situation the relationship is in, intimacy should not be lacking in it.
Emotional intimacy opens up the couple to a deeper connection with each other.
Each party wants to know that they are seen, heard, known, and felt.
And that’s what intimacy provides for them.
So it is a deal-breaker in a relationship if intimacy wanes or is absent altogether.
In fact, many relationship problems stem from a lack of intimacy.
Couples may find themselves feeling disconnected and distant without that intimate connection.
This is why it’s important to constantly work on intimacy in a relationship, even if it’s not solely sexual.
Lack of intimacy leaves one or both partners feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.
It can lead to resentment, anger, and even infidelity.
9. Unaddressed Conflict
As long as there are human interactions, there are bound to be conflicts.
You can imagine that even Siamese twins have clashes of interest and misunderstandings.
How much more two people from different backgrounds, upbringings, and with different views of life?
There’s always going to be conflicts.
That’s why one of the first things people getting into relationships must do is discover a working conflict resolution mechanism to help them address and resolve conflict properly.
People who tend to leave conflict unaddressed, sweeping things under the rug, are most likely not going to weather the storms of a relationship.
Leaving issues unaddressed is a major deal-breaker in every relationship.
Bring out issues—misunderstandings, disagreements, whatever they are – and iron them out.
Reach a mutually favorable midpoint for both parties and agree to disagree.
Deal breakers can be discovered and addressed early enough before they develop the power to pose a threat.
This can only happen if the partners have the necessary conversations and ask the right questions before they plunge headlong into the relationship.
I don’t know who originated the idea of letting things unfold in a relationship by themselves when the two parties can unfold it before they get in and decide whether or not it will work for them.