Why is it that women do not ask their men questions?
I was in a conversation with my man some time ago, and he looked at me and said, “I’ve never seen a woman ask the kind of intentional question that you do.”
It threw me off balance, for real.
Because I thought I was asking my man the questions every woman was asking her man.
So I had to take a walk and do some investigating, and to my surprise, women are not asking men questions.
Why?
You know, a good relationship is based on the quality of the partner’s communication.
So, if you are not asking your man the right questions, what do you talk to him about when you both talk?
Whether you’re just new to the relationship or have been together for years, do you know that asking your man the right questions helps you to understand him better and deepen your connection?
And as soon as you begin to ask these questions, you’ll realize that you’ve been dating a man who you do not know.
I mean.
Well, let me share with you some of the first in line questions I ask my man to help me know him better and bring us even much closer.
7 Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend to Strengthen Your Bond
1. What are Your Biggest Dreams And Aspirations?
When people talk about their dreams and aspirations, you can have an idea of what goes on in their minds and the kind of person they are.
It is like opening a window into their souls.
Asking your boyfriend about his biggest dreams will enlighten you and may inspire you.
If you are looking at building a strong emotional connection with him, you should do this.
When he speaks to you about his dreams, you can understand what drives him and what his long-term goals are.
When you know where a person is going, you are better able to understand why they have chosen the path where they walk.
And you can easily decide to follow them (or not) depending on your own aspirations.
So, if you still do not know your boyfriend’s dreams and aspirations, you’ve taken too long.
Go ahead and ask him now.
2. What are Your Favorite Childhood Memories?
We like to say, “The past is behind us.”
Especially when we want to talk about focusing on the present.
It is not wrong to say that leaving the past behind is necessary if you are looking to make real-life progress.
But the truth is, our childhood plays a major role in the way we behave as adults.
No matter how much unlearning and relearning we get to do, there will still be a trace of our childhood in our lives.
This is why it is important that you ask your man about his childhood memories.
Especially his favorite ones–these are the ones that are most likely to affect his lifestyle and behavior as an adult.
These stories will reveal a lot about his background and the experiences that shaped him.
When you ask your boyfriend about his favorite childhood memories, you’re inviting him to share a piece of his past.
Having this conversation with him will help you understand the foundations of his personality and bring a sense of nostalgia and warmth to your relationship.
3. What Do You Value Most in a Relationship?
This question is one that should come before you get into a relationship.
But if you’re already in a relationship and somehow forgot to ask your boyfriend what is most important to him in a relationship, you can still ask him here.
Most relationships are built based on shared values.
It’s the reason why when you ask sound people what they look out for in a partner, they will most likely mention shared values as one of the basic things.
When you ask your boyfriend what he values most in a relationship, you gain insight into his priorities and expectations.
Does he prioritize trust, honesty, or mutual respect?
Or is it independence and space for him?
Or constant communication and togetherness.
Whatever his values are, understanding them helps you both ensure that your relationship is grounded in shared principles and that you’re both working towards the same goals.
4. How Do You Handle Stress and Difficult Situations?
I’ve been in this world for a while now, and one thing I know is that nobody truly wants to be with someone who does not know how to manage stress and difficult situations.
People who are not emotionally intelligent usually tend to translate aggression to their partners and make them suffer for something they know nothing about.
You see, stress is an inevitable part of life, and how we handle it does impact our relationships significantly.
Your partner cannot be suffering everyday because you are having a bad day.
Ask your boyfriend how he deals with stress so that you can know his coping mechanisms.
Does he prefer to talk things out, or does he need some alone time to decompress?
Will he give you the silent treatment because he is going through something, or will he give you the opportunity to walk with him through his trying moments?
When you know how he deals with challenges, you know what kind of support and help to share with him during tough times.
5. What Does Your Ideal Future Look Like?
We usually cannot tell what the future holds for us, but success is not a game of chance.
People can often predict what kind of future they are likely to have based on their choices today.
So, your man most likely has a picture of what the future looks like.
So ask him about it.
When he begins to talk, you can easily know where you fit or do not fit into the picture.
It also helps you determine whether you will need to make adjustments and/or compromises in the future to accommodate him and his plans.
The earlier you know what you’re getting into, the better you’re able to make decisions that favor you.
6. What are Your Hobbies and Passions?
What are your man’s favorite things to do?
What is he so passionate about?
Our hobbies and passions are the things that make us truly happy and fulfilled.
While they can change from time to time, we cannot separate humans from their passions and hobbies.
So, if you cannot separate your man from these things and they are what really makes him happy, then it is in your best interest to find out what these things are.
When you know his hobbies, you can adopt them (the ones that you can), and make adjustments to ensure that he still enjoys himself while he is in a relationship with you.
It shows him that you care about his interests and are willing to invest time in what he loves.
And getting to do these things together somehow strengthens the bond between you two.
7. What are Your Thoughts on Family and Kids?
Unless you both already agree not to build a family or have children, you must ask this question.
Except otherwise agreed, long-term relationships usually result in marriage.
And with marriage comes family and children.
It is never too early to start talking about family and children if you both are set to build together.
And people’s ideas of family and childbearing/raising are usually shaped by their own experiences.
I’m assuming you and your boyfriend did not have the same upbringing, so you need to have this discussion with him so that you both can align your beliefs and expectations.
These questions are just the basic ones you ask at the beginning.
As you progress in the relationship, more situations will arise, and the one way to ensure that you both are continually on the same page is to ask the questions that matter.