Why do men want to stay friends after dating?
We have broken up, right?
Let’s go out different ways and get other things done with our lives.
And many times, I’ve heard people say that it is not possible for people to maintain friendships after dating.
So why does your ex want to be friends?
I have an ex who is still very actively my friend.
And it is not just in my case.
I’ve also seen people who stayed friends after their relationship ended.
In my case, the guy didn’t expressly come to tell me, “I want us to stay friends.”
We just remained friends.
But in situations when your ex tells you he wants to stay friends with you after the breakup, it will definitely raise some questions in your mind.
And truly, I never thought of the reason they chose to stay friends until I was faced with this topic.
So, I had some interesting conversations with some men concerning why they decided to stay friends with the woman they had dated, and below are the reasons I was able to gather.
5 Reasons Why a Guy Just Wants to Be Friends After Dating
1. Respectful Communication
This man said, “Men are big on respect.
My former girlfriend respected me to the core.
And I respect her, too.
An issue arose in the relationship that made us call off the relationship.
And even after we had broken up, she still dealt and talked with me with so much respect.
It is the reason I admire her so much.
I am not really interested in being in a relationship with her anymore.
I’m in another relationship now, and I’m doing alright.
But I’m always glad that I still have her as my friend because we can respect each other.”
Men are big on respect, but everyone likes to be respected.
If the post-dating communication is respectful between the two parties, it makes a man feel comfortable about keeping the woman in his space and staying friends with her.
Especially in situations where the issue that brought about the decision to path ways has been addressed and settled.
When there’s respectful communication, it is easier to draw boundaries and have honest conversations about expectations in the friendship, helping each other to move forward with their lives.
2. Trust
Trust plays a foundational role in every kind of human relationship.
Where there is trust, there is also symphony and unity in the relationship.
The man who spoke about trust said, “I’ve known this girl for many years now.
Long before we started dating, I knew her, and I trusted her.
And while we were dating, she didn’t give me any reason to doubt her trustworthiness.
There are a lot of things I want to do now while we’re no longer dating, and I still go to her.
I can still hand some things over to her and be at peace with the fact that they are safe and will be delivered.
So I don’t see why she shouldn’t be my friend.
She is trustworthy and it is a very good thing.
And I didn’t need to ask her if we could be friends after dating.
Because we had known each other before dating, the friendship just continued.”
We’ve come to a generation where it seems like it is impossible to find people who are trustworthy.
And it is not strange.
Everyone seems to care only about themselves and only do things that satisfy their desires, not minding whether the action has an adverse effect on their image or not.
But when two people trust each other, it is easy for them to maintain friendships even after the end of their romantic relationship.
3. Emotional Closure
There are some men who are like me – people who do not nurture any other friendships while they are in an active relationship (I’m not like that anymore. Lol)
So when they reach the end of their romantic relationship, it feels like they are going back to being alone.
And nobody wants to be alone.
One man said, “She’s my only friend.
We connect on a deep level, and she’s like the only one who understands me.
I have issues, and she is the only one who makes me feel like I can be a better person.
It is a sad thing that our relationship ended the way it did.
But what I would not give to be friends with her again?”
This man and others like himself are seeking emotional closure when they want to remain friends with their ex.
The relationship may have ended, but they don’t want anything to sever their emotional connection.
In this kind of situation, except that both of them are looking at getting back together, that connection may not be best for their well-being.
4. Compatibility
This man said, “We’re compatible.
In fact, now that you’re asking, I think she is my soulmate.
I’ve not felt like this about anyone else since I started dating.
I’m only asking that we remain friends because I have hope that very soon, we will come back together to enjoy the bliss of our relationship.
This breakup is only a temporary setting.
We will come back together, and we will get married.”
Wow.
The first question I asked myself was, “I hope this woman knows that the breakup is only temporary?”
This would be beautiful if it is a mutual feeling.
But if the woman is out of the relationship for good and doesn’t feel this way about him, then this is feeling somehow toxic.
The point is, though, that when a man feels like a particular woman was made for him and is the woman he wants to spend his life with, he will seek ways to stay friends with her even after a breakup.
5. Valued Friendship
This story is the one I could relate to so well with.
It said, “It was a tough decision I made to date her.
Her friendship was more important to me than being in a romantic relationship with her.
But we really liked each other, so we dated.
But we made a promise to ourselves that if the relationship didn’t work out, we would save our friendship.
It was the most important thing.
So, when it looked like the relationship was not going to work, we quietly ended it to save our friendship.
You see, friendship offers some very beautiful benefits that extend beyond what you can get from romantic relationships.
A man who asks that you stay friends after dating is most likely a man who recognizes the value you bring to the friendship and knows the value he can invest in it.
Someone who values the companionship you share and is willing to preserve the bond you have built over the years.
And more than that, he appreciates the fulfillment that comes with being in your space.
Conclusion
No matter how pure the reason a man wants to maintain a friendship with you, even after you’ve broken up, you must still decide whether you want to join that friendship.
If the end of the relationship came with hurt and pain for you, you might want to take time to process your healing before you think of being in a friendship with the same person who caused you the pain.
If, in your case, it is a smooth ending and you have decided to stay friends with him, it is pertinent that you have a clear conversation about what is and what isn’t expected in the friendship and stand firm with your boundaries to help you stay on a safe side.