When I first heard the word “dickmatized,” I was intrigued.
I didn’t even know it was a real thing.
And if this is your first time encountering this word, you can confirm that you have experienced something similar to what I had.
So, what does it mean for someone to be dickmatized?
When I saw the word, I felt like it was easy to guess the meaning, yet I still had to do some research to fully understand it and the reason women get “dickmatized.”
A woman is dickmatized when they become overly attached to their sexual partners, so much so that they are unable to spot or they deliberately ignore the red flags in the relationship.
The word, which is actually not an official English word, is a wordplay on the word “mesmerize.”
It was coined simply to explain that a woman is carried away by her partner’s sexual prowess and that the sexual satisfaction she is receiving has such an emotional and psychological hold over her that it has become more important to her than her well-being.
But why are women often caught in the toxicity of being dickmatized?
What really happens that makes them dickmatized?
I’ve had to talk to some random people over the years, and I’m writing from the ideas I’ve gotten from some real-life dickmatized women and other people who have shared their knowledge with me.
6 Reasons Why Women Become Dickmatized in Relationships
1. Emotional Fulfillment
Everyone wants the opportunity to express their emotions and to be themselves.
And more than that, women tend to have a stronger bond with men who are vulnerable with them.
Shared vulnerability in relationships somehow fully satisfies emotional needs.
In a society like ours, where emotional expression is often stigmatized for men when a woman finds a man who is vulnerable, attentive, supportive, and understanding, she feels like she’s found the missing piece that completes her.
A man she should not let go of, no matter what.
And it happens that no matter how unhealthy that relationship becomes, the fear that she wouldn’t find emotional satisfaction elsewhere often overrides her sense of judgment.
When a woman finds her partner that she can bare her emotions with and still get physically intimate with, she tends to build a strong and unbreakable bond with him.
This is because, in such relationships, both partners can fully express themselves without judgment or fear of being rejected.
This shared vulnerability creates a sense of trust and safety that strengthens the emotional connection between them.
2. Unhealthy Self-esteem
Every woman should find herself first before looking to find a man.
As long as a woman has unhealthy self-esteem, she will always yield herself to anything or anyone who gives her some level of validation.
Because of this, she might not know when to let go of a man who isn’t exactly the best for her.
She might get the pseudo-love and attention she craves because of the attention he pays her when they get physically intimate.
And how can she know this when she doesn’t even know what is best for her?
She will look for all possible means to stay with him just to keep getting that validation.
So she moves from being stigmatized to being dickmatized with the idea that she has to do everything possible to keep him just to keep getting that little hinge of validation and a feeling of self-worthiness.
3. Chemistry
You know what is called “chemistry?”
No, not the one taught in school.
The one that concerns a man and a woman.
Let’s talk a little about it.
Whenever a woman finds sexual satisfaction in a person, the allure is usually very intoxicating.
The physical presence of that person who sexually satisfies her usually triggers a flood of hormones and neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin – a mix that can create a powerful bond and bring her to a place where desire is more important to her than rationality.
Women like to stick with men with whom they share “chemistry.”
And that isn’t exactly a bad thing, except for the fact that no matter how much chemistry a woman shares with a man, she must be able to decide when the relationship is no longer healthy for her and move on.
4. Financial Dependency
Maybe it is the way I was brought up or the condition in which I grew up, I really can’t tell.
But I have always been one person who thinks (and practices) that financial struggles are never enough reason for women to yield to being a captive to a man.
I also think that there are several ways a woman can earn a decent living besides becoming a man’s puppet.
But it doesn’t matter what I think.
Every day in our society, more and more women are becoming dickmatized by the man who is providing.
In fact, I think this is the most popular reason women get dickmatized.
Any woman who is completely financially dependent on a man has the tendency to become dickmatized.
Anything to do to keep the ATM dispensing, and in this case, it is getting beneath the sheets with him.
I think I should quickly mention here that there is never enough money to cure emotional trauma when it sets in.
And no money is worth anyone’s health and well-being.
5. Desire for Intimacy
Every human craves intimacy at one point in their lives or another.
But we were created with a will and the power to choose in order to differentiate us from the beast of the field.
In my opinion, it is only a beastly attitude to be controlled by one’s desire rather than being in control of one’s desire.
If you become so desirous of sex from a particular man, so much so that nothing else – including your self-worth – matters, then it is clear that you have become dickmatized.
At this point, you begin to feel like you must do everything possible to keep that connection going, to the detriment of your own health and well-being.
6. Cycle of Abuse
I read the post of a woman on social media who said that there was a time in her life when makeup sex with her man always hit differently.
Because of that, she always looked forward to fights and quarrels in her relationship just to experience the intensity of passion that usually came with the makeup sex.
Aside from this, a woman who has been in several relationships where she was repeatedly abused may be reduced to thinking that every man is abusive.
She might even reach a place where she doesn’t consider the act as abuse anymore.
When a woman begins to live by these thoughts, she may begin to ignite fights in her relationship just to get that satisfying sex that follows when they make up.
She may also decide to stick with an abusive man just because he is satisfying her sexual desires.
The satisfaction she derives from their connection becomes so pleasing that she disposes of her sense of reasoning.
Knowing and acknowledging that you have become dickmatized as a woman is the first step to gaining your freedom.
It is never too late to seek help for yourself.
And truly, no matter what the situation is like, I need you to know that you can find your way out.
And if you know someone who is dickmatized, instead of writing them off and being judgemental, lend them a helping hand and a listening ear.
Be a safe place for them as they seek to come out of their captivity.
I hope we all find goodness and rest for our hearts.