Have you ever wondered why your boyfriend treats you like a boy?
Then, stay with me on this post.
I once heard a lady complain to her friends, and I quote,
“You know, it’s tough.
I really love my boyfriend, but sometimes it feels like we’re just buddies hanging out.
Don’t get me wrong, we have our moments of physical intimacy, but that’s where it ends.
We don’t do anything that screams “lovers.”
Our “dates” are nothing more than going to places he would go with his guy friends – amusement parks, concerts, sports events – and we always split the bill.
He’s comfortable swearing around me like he would with his buddies, and we don’t even hold hands when we’re out in public.
There’s no romance, no special gifts for anniversaries or Valentine’s Day.
Now, I get it.
I’m a bit of a tomboy and enjoy “guy things,” but that shouldn’t mean I can’t be treated like a lady.
The problem is, I don’t think he has any clue how to treat a lady or what it means.
And honestly, I don’t think it’s my job to teach him either.
I do love him, and he’s a great guy, but something needs to change.
What would you do in this situation?
I’m at a loss, and it’s starting to affect how I feel about our relationship.
I want to feel cherished and appreciated, but it seems like we’re stuck in this buddy zone.
Help me out here!”
Like the lady in the little story, have you ever experienced that sinking feeling when your relationship starts to resemble a friendship of two males rather than a passionate romance?
It’s a deeply disheartening situation that countless women find themselves grappling with.
In this blog post, we go on an exploration of this issue, extending a compassionate hand to guide you.
You’re not alone in this journey; I understand your frustration and will help you gain valuable insights and understanding.
Together, we will navigate the complexities and uncover the underlying reasons behind your boyfriend’s behaviour.
Why Your Boyfriend Treats You Like A Boy
Understanding the Disconnection:
Feeling like your boyfriend treats you like a boy can lead to an array of emotions, from confusion to sadness and even resentment.
However, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and seek a deeper understanding of the underlying causes.
Here are a few possible reasons behind this disconnection:
You might be wondering what upbringing has to do with why your boyfriend treats you like a boy.
Stay with me.
When we studied the boyfriend of the lady (from the story above), we discovered that the problem was his upbringing.
The boyfriend’s upbringing was unique in that he was primarily raised by his father, lacking the influence of a female role model.
In addition, his social circle had been predominantly male, with no previous female friends or girlfriends.
This background sheds light on his limited exposure to and understanding of relationships with women.
It suggests that his experiences and interactions might have shaped his perspectives and behaviour in the realm of romantic relationships.
It is important to consider these factors when trying to comprehend his actions and approach the situation with empathy and understanding.
2. Fear of vulnerability:
It’s not uncommon for men, just like women, to struggle with expressing their emotions and showing vulnerability.
This fear of being emotionally exposed can lead your boyfriend to treat you more like a friend rather than a romantic partner.
Societal expectations, personal experiences, and cultural conditioning often contribute to this fear.
Men may have been taught to hide their emotions or perceive vulnerability as a sign of weakness.
Consequently, they may unknowingly distance themselves emotionally in an attempt to protect themselves.
It’s important to approach this with compassion and understanding.
3. Familiarity breeds comfort:
When it comes to relationships, familiarity can bring about a sense of comfort and security.
However, it can also unintentionally lead to a shift in dynamics, making a boyfriend treat his partner more like a friend.
This can evoke a range of emotions, from confusion to sadness and even a tinge of resentment.
But let’s approach this with empathy and understanding.
As time goes by, lovers naturally become more comfortable with one another.
They let their guards down and allow their true selves to shine through.
While this level of intimacy is undoubtedly beautiful, it can sometimes blur the lines between romance and friendship.
Think about it – when you’re with your friends, there’s a level of ease and casualness that exists.
You can be your authentic self without worrying about impressing or constantly trying to maintain a romantic atmosphere.
In a long-term relationship, it’s common for couples to experience this shift, where the effort to woo and charm each other might take a back seat.
It’s important to remember that this change is often not intentional or malicious.
Instead, it’s a consequence of the deepening bond and familiarity that comes with spending significant time together.
Your boyfriend may have unknowingly fallen into this comfort zone, treating you more like a buddy because he feels secure in the relationship.
You should know that the foundation of any healthy relationship is effective communication, and it plays a vital role in understanding why your boyfriend may be treating you more like a friend.
Unspoken expectations or misunderstandings can create a rift between partners, leading to a disconnect in how they relate to one another.
It’s important to express your feelings openly and honestly with your boyfriend.
Sometimes, people are not aware of the impact their behaviour has on their partners unless it is brought to their attention in a caring and non-confrontational manner.
5. Interests and activities:
Shared interests and activities can have a significant impact on how your boyfriend treats you within the relationship.
When the majority of your time together revolves around activities traditionally associated with friendships, such as playing video games or attending sporting events, it can inadvertently lead to a more platonic dynamic.
While having shared hobbies and interests is wonderful, it’s vital to strike a balance and incorporate activities that promote a deeper emotional connection.
How to stop your boyfriend from treating you like a boy
Rekindling the fire of romance when your boyfriend treats you more like a boy than a romantic partner can be a challenging but worthwhile journey.
With effort, understanding, and open communication, you can foster a deeper connection and bring back the spark that might have faded.
Here are some steps to help you navigate this process:
1. Express Your Desires:
Initiate a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and desires.
Be clear but gentle in expressing how you long for a more romantic connection.
Share specific examples of what would make you feel cherished and valued.
Encourage him to express his own thoughts and feelings about the relationship.
By creating an open dialogue, you can establish a foundation for understanding and growth.
2. Plan Intimate Date Nights:
Break away from the routine of casual hangouts and plan intimate date nights that allow for quality time and romance.
Choose activities that cultivate a deeper emotional connection, such as candlelit dinners, cozy movie nights at home, or walks under the stars.
You can shift the dynamics and remind yourselves of the special bond you share when you do this.
3. Surprise Each Other:
Surprises can reignite the spark and infuse excitement into your relationship.
Surprise your boyfriend with thoughtful gestures, such as leaving little love notes, preparing his favourite meal, or planning an unexpected outing.
Encourage him to reciprocate and surprise you as well.
These small acts of affection can help restore a sense of romance and show that you both are willing to put effort into making each other feel loved.
4. Explore Shared Interests:
While shared interests might contribute to the “friend-like” treatment, you can reframe them to foster a more romantic connection.
Find activities that allow you to experience new things together.
Take a dance class, go on a weekend getaway, or try a couple’s spa day.
By stepping out of your comfort zones and exploring new adventures, you can create memories and deepen your bond as a couple.
5. Emphasize Physical Intimacy:
Intimacy plays a crucial role in romantic relationships.
Discuss your desires and needs openly with your boyfriend, ensuring that you’re both on the same page.
Encourage more physical affection, such as holding hands, cuddling, and kissing.
Rekindling the physical intimacy can help reignite the passion and remind you both of the unique connection you share.
6. Celebrate Milestones and Special Occasions:
Make an effort to commemorate milestones, anniversaries, and special occasions in your relationship.
Plan surprises or thoughtful gestures to mark these moments.
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with a romantic dinner, exchange meaningful gifts on birthdays, and acknowledge the growth and achievements in your relationship.
These gestures show that you value the romantic aspect of your partnership.
7. Cultivate Self-Care and Personal Growth:
Remember that a healthy and fulfilling relationship begins with self-care and personal growth.
Nurture your passions, hobbies, and well-being.
Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment will enhance your self-confidence and make you feel more radiant, which, in turn, can positively impact the dynamics of your relationship.
In conclusion, don’t settle for feeling like just one of the guys.
Take charge of rekindling the romance in your relationship.
With love, effort, and open hearts, you can bring back the spark and create a truly magical partnership.