Have you ever been hanging out with a close guy friend, only to be surprised by a kiss on the lips?
It can definitely leave you confused.
Unlike a hug or a high five, a kiss on the lips is a more intimate gesture, and it’s natural to wonder what it means when it comes from a friend.
Lip kissing is a common form of physical intimacy in which two people press their lips against each other’s lips.
All over the world, lip kissing is accepted as a gesture that portrays affection, love, and connection.
It may be a brief peck from lips to lips, or a more prolonged lock of lips, or what is called “French kisses.”
However, in many other cultures in the world, lip kissing may depict something completely different from romantic affection.
For instance, in some rural areas of South Africa, a quick lip kiss is a form of greeting and is shared among family and friends.
If you are concerned that your male friend kissed you on the lips, it shows that either you’re from a culture that restricts lip kissing to a certain group (e.g., people in romantic relationships), or you just want to know what he has in mind, following his own culture and beliefs.
When a male friend unexpectedly kisses you on the lips, there are a number of things that you should consider.
What Does it Mean When a Male Friend Kisses You on the Lips?
There are a few reasons why a male friend might kiss you on the lips.
1. Friendly Gesture
In some cultures, a kiss on the cheek or even the lips is a common greeting among friends and family.
Just like in the instance of South African culture, where a kiss on the lips means a friendly greeting.
If your male friend is from such a culture, it could simply be his way of showing affection and friendship towards you.
For you, it might come off as a rude shock or even culture shock if it is your first time being there.
If you and your friend share a very close bond, or if he comes from a culture with more physical greetings, the kiss might simply be a friendly expression of affection.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that he has romantic feelings for you.
2. Mixed Signals
Another reason why a male friend might kiss you on the lips is because he has developed feelings for you.
Sometimes, the line between friendships can become blurred with romantic feelings, and your friend could be showing his affection through that kiss.
This is especially true when you both have chemistry and a strong emotional connection.
It could also be a way for him to test the waters and see how you react to his advances.
However, if you are not interested in taking your friendship to a romantic level, let him know this clearly to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.
He might have developed romantic feelings for you in the course of you just being you.
3. Misunderstanding
Sometimes, a male friend might kiss you on the lips simply because he misread or misunderstood the situation.
Perhaps he mistook your friendly hug as an invitation for a kiss, or maybe he was trying to be playful, and it came across differently than intended.
Sometimes, he might have premeditated it, and you two probably already had a conversation about taking things to the next level, but he still misread the situation and acted impulsively.
4. Romantic Feelings
Of course, there is also the possibility that your male friend does have feelings for you, and the kiss was his way of expressing them.
If he has been showing signs of attraction towards you, such as complimenting you often or going out of his way to spend time with you, then this could be a clear indication of his romantic interest.
Of course, keep in mind that a kiss does not automatically mean he wants to be in a relationship with you.
There are many people wholove each other but not enough to commit themselves.
If you feel the same way about him, talk to him genuinely to understand his intentions.
So, how should you respond?
What to Know and What to Do When a Male Friend Kisses You on the Lips
1. Understanding Context
People do not just do things out of the blue.
When a person does something, they are either acting out their thoughts or reacting to another action.
Not all actions are necessarily premeditated, but every action is triggered by something.
Your male friend who has never kissed you on your lips before does not just wake up out of the blue and find himself kissing you on your lips.
This is where context comes in.
When you know the context of the action, you are able to understand the significance behind his kiss.
Some of the questions you need to ask yourself are: how did it happen?
Did it happen in a moment of heightened emotions?
Was it a spontaneous act of affection?
Maybe during a heartfelt goodbye when you both had to part ways or when he was showing appreciation for something you did for him.
Are you both just friends, but have you been flirting with each other?
You see, when the boundaries in a relationship are not properly defined and flirtatious behaviors are allowed, the man may begin to assume that there is room for friendship with benefits.
In this case, he may decide to begin with a light lip kiss as a start and to test whether there truly is room for friendship with benefits.
Understanding the context of the situation would help you better know how to handle it.
2. Differences in Cultural and Social Norms
Maybe this is a friend you have not known for too long, so you’re not really conversant with the ways of his culture and people.
Cultural and social norms vary widely regarding what is acceptable and what isn’t acceptable as a display of affection between friends.
As I mentioned in the introduction, some cultures consider kissing on the lips as a common form of greeting or farewell among friends.
In some other cultures, it is perceived as more intimate and reserved for romantic partners.
He may be from the former culture and is only practicing what seems to be normal with you.
But if you are not well versed with what is obtainable in his culture, you may question his innocent gesture.
On the flip side, there is also a case where it is the lady from the more liberal culture.
If her male friend (who is not from her community), kisses her on her lips, it may be that he is trying to adapt to her culture, or he may have other motive behind the kiss.
The trying to adapt to her culture story can pass as acceptable if it is the man who visited the lip-kissing community.
However, if it is the lady who moves out of her community to a place where no one lip-kisses her as a sign of greeting, a kiss on the lips from her male friend will definitely raise her brow.
3. Ask Questions
After you have considered this context of the situation and your cultural and social differences, whatever answers you are left with will not be factual because they are just your own assumptions.
You must ask the person who kissed you to find out the real reason for the kiss or the motive behind the kiss.
And it is a problem if you are friends with someone with whom you cannot have a sound conversation.
In every relationship, clear communication is a basic necessity.
It is only your friend who can truly tell you why he kissed you, so if you’re uncomfortable and you truly want to know why your male friend kissed you on the lips, you should call him, sit with him, and have the conversation.
There are a thousand and one reasons why your friend may have kissed you on the lips, aside from cultural norms.
It may be a sign that he wants more than friendship from you, or it might just be him wanting to use you to satisfy his physical intimacy need, among many other reasons.
The only way to know which one is applicable to your situation is by asking.
You may not be able to ask him at the time when it happens because of the embarrassment that may follow the action, so you should choose a time when things have cooled off to ask him.
When you approach him, be careful not to be confrontational, even if you are offended by his actions.
And you don’t want to make him embarrassed by your approach, too.
Call him to a private place and state your concerns with respect and fewer accusations.
Let him know how you felt, and he should be able to tell you why he kissed you.
Final Notes
This singular action may become a catalyst for deeper conversations about the nature of your friendship and for significant changes in the relationship.
It can also expose hidden connections and emotions between you both.
So, you both should cease the “spontaneous” lip kiss as a platform to have honest conversations, iron out misunderstandings, and seek closure.
Seeking closure may mean that you both are reassuring each other of beautiful friendships, revisiting your boundaries, parting ways as friends, or exploring the possibilities of becoming more than friends.
If you are not parting ways or entering a romantic relationship, you will find that after having that conversation, the strength of your bond will be renewed and reaffirmed.
You’ll also find that your respect for each other will become more solid, giving you both a better experience at friendship together.
This situation may be more complicated if one person or both of you are already in an active romantic relationship, but it is nothing that cannot be tackled by engaging in honest conversations and building healthy boundaries.