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10 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Was A Narcissist

10 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Was A Narcissist

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Ways to tell if your ex was a narcissist.

Ending a relationship with a narcissistic partner can leave you emotionally drained and bewildered.

Understanding the signs of narcissism is crucial for finding clarity and embarking on the healing process. 

In this blog post, we will explore ten key indicators to help you determine if your ex was a narcissist. 

Discovering the truth about your ex’s behaviour will help you regain your sense of self-worth and empower you to move forward with renewed strength and resilience.

When you can successfully recognize and identify these traits, you can validate your experiences and take important steps towards self-care, personal growth and moving forward.

Below are 10 ways to tell if your ex was a narcissist.

10 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Was A Narcissist

1. Lack of empathy:

10 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Was A Narcissist

This is a core characteristic of narcissism, where your ex displayed a consistent inability or unwillingness to understand and connect with your emotions. 

They showed little concern for your feelings, disregarding them or dismissing them altogether. 

Your ex’s self-centeredness prevented them from genuinely empathizing with your experiences, leaving you feeling unheard and invalidated. 

Their inability to acknowledge and validate your emotions created a profound sense of loneliness and isolation within the relationship, further highlighting their narcissistic tendencies.


2. Excessive self-importance:

Excessive self-importance is a prominent trait of narcissism that was likely evident in your ex-partner. 

They possessed an inflated sense of their own significance, constantly seeking attention, validation, and admiration. 

Their conversations revolved around their achievements, talents, and perceived superiority. 

Your own accomplishments and aspirations were often overshadowed, as their insatiable need for recognition consumed the relationship. 

This self-centeredness, intertwined with their grandiose attitude, reflected the deep-rooted narcissistic tendencies within them. 

Recognizing this excessive self-importance is crucial for understanding the dynamics of the relationship and finding healing from the emotional toll it may have taken on you.


3. Manipulative behaviour:

10 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Was A Narcissist

This is a hallmark of narcissism that your ex likely displayed. 

They were skilled in employing various tactics to control and dominate you. 

Gaslighting, a psychological manipulation technique, was used to distort your perception of reality, making you doubt your own thoughts and feelings. 

Your ex would consistently shift blame onto you or others, deflecting responsibility for their actions. 

Additionally, they employed guilt-tripping as a means to manipulate your emotions and coerce you into meeting their demands. 

These manipulative behaviours served to maintain their power and control over you, leaving you feeling vulnerable and emotionally drained.


4. A constant need for validation:

A constant need for validation is a prominent trait of narcissistic behaviour that your ex likely exhibited. 

They craved incessant admiration, praise, and attention. 

No matter how much validation you provided, it was never enough to satisfy their insatiable hunger for reassurance. 

Their self-worth was dependent on external validation, leaving you feeling overwhelmed by their constant demands for affirmation.

 Your own needs and accomplishments were often overshadowed as they constantly sought the spotlight.

This unrelenting need for validation and attention reflected their deep-seated insecurities and highlighted the narcissistic nature of your ex-partner.


5. Lack of boundaries:

10 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Was A Narcissist

If your ex consistently disregarded your personal space, invaded your privacy, and showed a lack of respect for your boundaries, these are key characteristics of narcissistic individuals, and your ex likely displayed this behaviour. 

Whether it was constant intrusions into your personal life or disregarding your need for alone time, they demonstrated an alarming sense of entitlement. 

This lack of boundaries extended beyond physical space and encompassed emotional boundaries as well. 

They may have disregarded your feelings, opinions, and needs, treating you as an extension of themselves rather than as an autonomous individual.


6. Exploitative behaviour: 

A common trait displayed by narcissists, and it is likely that your ex engaged in this type of behaviour. 

They consistently took advantage of your resources, time, and emotions without reciprocation. 

They manipulated situations to benefit themselves, often disregarding the impact it had on you. 

Whether it was exploiting your financial resources, using your emotional vulnerability against you, or expecting you to cater to their needs without considering your own, their exploitative behaviour reflected their self-centeredness and lack of empathy.


7. Emotional Roller Coaster:

10 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Was A Narcissist

An emotional roller coaster is a common experience when involved with a narcissistic partner. 

Your ex may have alternated between love bombing and devaluation, creating a tumultuous and unpredictable relationship dynamic. 

During the love bombing phase, they showered you with affection, compliments, and excessive attention to win you over. 

However, this idealization was short-lived as they swiftly shifted to devaluation, where they belittled, criticized, and devalued your worth. 

This constant cycle of extreme highs and lows left you confused, destabilized, and constantly seeking their validation and approval.


8. Lack of Accountability:

A lack of accountability is a defining characteristic of narcissists, and it is likely that your ex demonstrated this behaviour. 

They consistently avoided taking responsibility for their actions, often deflecting blame onto others or refusing to admit their mistakes. 

Rather than acknowledging their faults, they may have shifted the blame onto you or made excuses to avoid accountability. 

This lack of accountability creates a toxic dynamic in the relationship, leaving you feeling frustrated, invalidated, and responsible for their actions. It becomes a pattern of behaviour where they consistently evade taking ownership for their words and actions.


9. Superiority complex:

This is when your ex consistently asserted their superiority over others, including you. 

This behaviour manifested as belittling your achievements, engaging in condescending behaviour, and constantly comparing themselves favourably to others. 

They sought to maintain a sense of superiority and control by diminishing your worth and making you feel inferior.

Their need to feel superior often masked deep-seated insecurities, leading them to constantly seek validation and admiration to reinforce their fragile self-esteem.


10. Lack of genuine emotional connection:

10 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Was A Narcissist

When your ex struggled to empathize with your emotions, demonstrating a lack of genuine interest and care for your inner world. 

Instead of forging a deep emotional bond, they treated you as an extension of themselves, using you to meet their own needs. 

Their interactions lacked depth and authenticity, leaving you feeling unheard and emotionally disconnected. This absence of genuine emotional connection highlights their self-centeredness and inability to form meaningful, empathetic relationships.



In conclusion, recognizing the signs of narcissism in your ex-partner is a crucial step on your path to healing. 

The emotional toll of being involved with a narcissist can be immense, leaving you feeling depleted and questioning your own worth. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. 

When you validate your experiences and acknowledge the narcissistic traits displayed by your ex, you can begin to reclaim your power and prioritize your own well-being. 

Embrace self-care, seek support from loved ones, and embark on a journey of personal growth. You deserve to break free from the grip of narcissism and cultivate a life filled with genuine connection, love, and fulfilment.