In the world today, relationships and intimacy are constantly evolving, and the decision to abstain from intimacy before marriage remains a choice for many individuals.
It’s completely up to you whether you want to be intimate before getting married or not.
And as a Christian, I stand for abstinence before marriage.
While this choice is deeply personal and often tied to cultural, religious, or personal beliefs, you should understand the potential consequences that can arise from this decision, and this is why it is a topic that should be addressed before marriage.
We will explain things that happen when you don’t talk about intimacy before marriage, as well as address these consequences in this article.
5 Things That Happen When You Don’t Talk About Intimacy Before Marriage
1. Having different preferences and desires
When we talk about “limited intimacy compatibility,” we’re basically discussing how well two people’s preferences and desires match up.
In simpler terms, it’s about how well they both enjoy and want the same things in the bedroom.
When couples choose to wait until marriage to get intimate without first talking about it, they might not have a clear understanding of each other’s likes and dislikes when it comes to being intimate.
This can create challenges because they haven’t had the chance to explore and communicate about what makes them feel comfortable and satisfied.
Say you and your partner have different tastes in food, but you only find out after you’ve prepared a big meal together.
It could lead to disappointment and frustration because you didn’t know each other’s preferences beforehand.
It is like this also in a relationship; discovering these differences in the bedroom after marriage can be challenging because it might take time and effort to adjust and find common ground.
In essence, limited sexual compatibility means that couples who haven’t had the conversation before marriage might not be aware of their sexual preferences and might need to work on understanding each other’s needs once they start their sexual relationship after marriage.
2. Dealing with emotional difficulties
Emotional difficulties are the challenges some couples may face when they choose to wait until marriage for intimacy and not even talk about it.
Emotions are the feelings you have inside, like happiness, love, and sometimes, even worries.
These emotions are very important in a romantic relationship because they help you connect with your partner on a deep level.
It is having a strong bond or connection.
Now, when a couple decides to delay getting intimate until after they get married, it can help them build momentum and expectations in that regard.
This can only happen where this is discussed, as you practically do not have an insight into the other person’s thoughts.
You see, physical closeness, like hugging and kissing, often helps people feel closer to each other emotionally.
Therefore, when a couple doesn’t have these conversations before marriage, it might take them more time and effort to really feel emotionally close.
It’s kind of like they have to work a bit harder to build that special connection between them.
Simply speaking, emotional challenges mean that waiting to explore emotions through intimacy until marriage without first talking about it can make it a bit tougher for some couples to feel really close and connected emotionally, but it’s something they can work on together to make their relationship stronger.
3. Troubles in talking openly with each other
Communication barriers can come up in a relationship when a couple chooses to wait until marriage to get intimate without talking about it before the marriage.
Communication goes beyond just talking with each other.
Sharing thoughts, feelings, and desires is very important.
In a relationship, especially a romantic one, it’s super important to talk openly and honestly about what you want, what makes you comfortable, and what you expect from each other.
When a couple decides not to get intimate before marriage, they should not delay these important conversations about their physical desires and boundaries.
Not having this conversation means they are putting off talking about something that’s really significant in a relationship.
Because of this delay, they might not fully understand each other’s feelings or expectations when it comes to being intimate.
This would create communication barriers.
Having a wall between them when it comes to talking about their physical relationship.
The summary of this is that waiting until marriage to get intimate should not stop the conversation about this.
4. Having overly high hopes
This is simply setting unrealistic expectations.
Having ideas about something that might not be very practical or real.
Sometimes you go to watch a movie, and you’ve heard a lot of hype about it.
You might expect it to be the best movie you’ve ever seen, with incredible action, drama, and special effects.
But when you actually watch it, it’s good, but it doesn’t meet those super high expectations you had.
It can happen this way, especially when people wait until marriage to get intimate without having the discussion.
They might get ideas in their head about how it will be with their partner, which will either be a bit too perfect or unrealistic.
Maybe they have seen romantic movies or heard stories that make it sound like a magical experience.
When these high expectations don’t match reality, it can lead to disappointment.
Expecting that you are going to watch the most amazing movie ever and then realize it’s just a regular good movie.
It is important to have realistic expectations by having these conversations so you’re not let down when things don’t turn out exactly as you imagined.
Having high hopes simply means having overly perfect ideas about something, like sex in this case, which can lead to feeling let down if reality does not match those high hopes.
5. Increased pressure on marriage
Waiting until after marriage to get intimate and not ever having that conversation can put more stress or tension on the marriage.
Marriage is a big step in a relationship.
It’s a promise to be together for forever.
Now, if a couple has been waiting to get intimate until they are married, there might be extra pressure or expectations on that first experience together if they have never spoken about it.
You might worry a lot about how it will go, and that worry or pressure can make things more stressful.
When a couple delays getting intimate until after they are married without talking about it, there can be more stress or worry about that first time, which can sometimes make things more challenging for the relationship.
In the end, what is most important is that you and your partner make choices that feel right for both of you.
Love and relationships can be beautiful, but they also come with their own set of challenges.
In any relationship, it’s essential for both partners to talk openly about their feelings instead of keeping things to themselves or judging each other.
Being open about your desires and needs can actually make your relationship stronger, as it helps ensure that both partners are satisfied and happy with each other.
Love should always be about making each other happy, no matter what path you choose.