Maybe we should have more people asking this question, given the high rate of divorce in our society today.
It is true that marriage isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
Sometimes, you look across the dinner table, and you can barely recognize the person sitting there.
Chances are you haven’t spoken in days, or worse, you’ve reached a point where every conversation ends in a fight.
And you’ve begun to wonder, “Is this how it ends? Or is there any saving for this marriage?”
Maybe it really isn’t the end.
We’ve heard real-life stories of marriages that were on life support being revived.
Yours can be one of them.
And there are a few signs that will let you know if your marriage still has a chance of survival.
8 Signs Your Marriage Can Be Saved
1. A Shared Desire to Rebuild
Whether or not your marriage can be saved is completely dependent on your willingness to save it.
If both of you have resigned to being miserable without any hope for your marriage, then your marriage has probably come to an end.
But if you still hold on to a flicker of hope and you both believe that things can work out, then chances are it will.
So it depends on whether you want to rebuild or not.
You’ll know this when you both agree to do things together, such as attending couples therapy, reading relationship books together, or simply committing to spending more quality time together—no matter how uncomfortable it gets.
2. You Can Still Talk (Even if You Don’t Agree)
As soon as communication is completely gone in a relationship, I don’t know how that relationship can be saved.
Because how do you even resolve things when you can’t even talk to each other?
But if you both are still having conversations—even if they’re tearful, angry, or frustrating—it is a sign that your relationship can be saved.
It shows you haven’t completely shut each other out.
As long as the line of communication is open, there is still an opportunity for understanding, and vulnerability is still possible.
It is even better when communication is effective—when you both listen to each other, acknowledge each other’s feelings, and respond to each other with respect.
3. You Can Acknowledge Your Roles in the Mess
I don’t know if this is how it works with y’all.
But when I’m angry with someone, I’m furious and list the thousand things the person did to hurt me, and I’m never able to see my role in what happened.
But as soon as the anger wanes, I begin to see the part I played and may even discover that the fault was primarily mine.
Nobody’s perfect, and marriages don’t fall apart by itself.
Each of the couple would have played a role or two in its demolition.
So, if you two have found that you collectively contributed to your marital troubles, you’re on your path to saving your home.
Because your ability to find yourself at fault shows that you are willing to grow and change.
4. There’s Still Respect
A marriage is already considered healthy when both partners are able to treat each other with respect.
It is generally believed that if you respect a person, you will be committed to doing things that please and favor them.
Despite the fact that your relationship is on the edge of a cliff, do you both talk to each other like two gangsters?
Or is your communication still filled with respect?
When you speak, does your spouse listen?
Do they pay attention to the things you say and give regard to your opinion?
Maybe your relationship truly feels like it can’t be saved, but if it checks all the boxes above, I think it can still be saved.
5. The Good Memories Still Hold Weight
Another thing I can also relate to when I am super angry with someone is that I’m unable to think of the good times we had.
No matter how hard I try, the thought of the wrong they did to me will cloud my imagination so thickly that I can’t get to see anything.
But when the anger begins to wane, I find that I’m able to think of the good times we shared with a flicker of a smile and even a wave of appreciation.
So what does it feel like when you think back on your happy days together?
Can you reminisce without bitterness?
Do you even remember them?
Or has the hurt clouded your memory?
Or when you think about them, do they feed like something you still cherish?
If the good times still hold a special place in your heart, they are most likely a strong foundation on which to rebuild.
6. You’re Both Willing to Put in the Work
Saving a marriage takes effort. It’s not a magic trick.
It is one thing to have the desire to rebuild, as we had mentioned earlier.
It is another thing to actually do the work.
And the work is tedious, especially at the beginning.
But if you both share the same desire and the same willingness to work it through, it is just a matter of time before your marriage starts bubbling again.
You know you have to go the extra mile to be intentional.
Take more time and energy to do couples therapy and other activities that can enhance your connection together.
7. Forgive
You know there’s a point in life when someone has hurt you so badly that you feel you do not possess the ability to forgive them?
Well, you can reach that place in your marriage.
But forgiveness is very important if you want to move on from past hurt and resentment, heal, and build something new.
If you look at your spouse and see that there is still a thread of forgiveness left in you for them, or if you look at yourself and believe that you can still find forgiveness if you seek it, then you will.
Seeking and showing forgiveness demonstrates your commitment to healing and moving forward.
So you should let go of grudges, hate, and resentment and ditch the pride that is holding you back from seeking forgiveness yourself.
8. Physical Intimacy
When couples are angry with each other, there’s this tendency to not want to see each other.
They’ll keep themselves at arm’s length and avoid each other’s touch.
Then there is another level where they begin to detest each other.
The very thought of being with themselves is very troubling.
At this point, you know that the marriage has hit rock bottom.
Physical intimacy is a very important aspect of marriage.
It usually shows that there is a bond holding the couple together.
So if there is still a desire for physical closeness, you can tell that your connection is not totally severed.
So you can reignite your physical relationship if you touch each other more often, whether through hugs, holding hands, or sexual intimacy.
The truth is that saving a marriage is hard work, as I mentioned earlier.
People who opt out of marriage just realize that they no longer have the strength to push through.
But I suspect you’re here because you have not lost hope or strength.
So you should watch out for these signs, and do your own quota.
And I sincerely hope your strength doesn’t wane before your marriage begins to bubble again.