The thing about marriages, especially in this part of the world, is that women are the ones who are the most obsessed with getting married.
And you can’t exactly blame them.
An average woman does not want to have children outside marriage, so she must be married before she bears children.
And there’s the issue of menopause.
A woman who wants to give birth wants to do so before she hits menopause.
So there’s always the age factor.
And this factor has pushed women to get into all sorts of unions in the name of marriage.
I was having a conversation with my friend a few days ago, and we spoke about the fact that even when women are more obsessed with getting married, they still have little advantage in choosing when and to whom they get married.
A woman may have an idea of the kind of man she wants to get married to, but if her kind of man does not propose marriage to her, she may have to just adjust her ideas to suit the one that comes her way – especially if time is behind her.
But marriage is one of the most significant commitments anyone can ever make.
And I think if women are pressurized less, they can make wiser choices of marital partners.
Everybody has their insufficiencies and excesses, but there are some red-flagged habits that shouldn’t be ignored in any circumstance.
Let’s consider them.
Never Marry a Man Who Has These 6 Habits
1. Chronic Dishonesty
When I see people say “everybody tells lies” as a defense for their dishonesty, I can easily tell that they are people who lack the ability to be honest in any way.
You’ve practiced dishonesty so much that you now feel very comfortable with it.
You can now defend yourself and other liars in the act.
Ladies, when you see a man who constantly lies, even about the minutest of things, flee.
Because how can you build a deeply rooted marriage without trust?
Do you want to get married to a man whose greetings you can’t trust?
If he can’t be honest with you now, do you think he’ll change after marriage?
He won’t.
There’s nothing so difficult as being honest with the person you are getting married to.
Because they are becoming part of your life, so why do you need to hide anything from them?
For your peace and well-being, do not marry a chronic liar.
2. Lack of Ambition
No matter how desperate you are to get married, try to sit down with the man you want to marry and ask him some questions.
Ask him about his plan for his life.
Some men are nothing more than what you see with your eyes.
They have no visions, no plans, no ambition.
Some of the men in this category just want to get married to a woman who can double as the mother of their children and their housemaid.
Nothing more.
You’re going into marriage to secure your future, but if you get married to a man with no ambition, you’ll become more liable to insecurity and harm than you’d be if you didn’t get married.
Your husband will be unable to provide you with stability and growth in a relationship.
At the end of the day, you will become both the man and the wife in the marriage.
It is even worse if you are also someone who does not have ambition.
Get married to someone who is motivated and has goals – professional, personal, or both.
An ambitious person is willing to improve and will always look for a way to achieve a better future.
3. Disrespectful Behavior
A disrespectful person will drag you in the mud.
They will stain your white.
Respect is one of the pillars that holds a healthy marriage.
It has nothing to do with age or gender.
Respecting your spouse means that you acknowledge the fact that they’re humans and that you love, value, and appreciate them.
The first thing you need to know about the person who disrespects you is that they see you as something that is beneath them.
Maybe like a piece of trash or something similar.
Another thing you need to know is that they do not value you or consider you important.
Stay away from this kind of people.
He will first disrespect you to see your reaction, then he’ll move on to disrespect your family and friends.
Choosing to marry a man who disrespects you shows that you do not place any value on yourself.
4. Inability to Handle Conflict
Some people are terrible when it comes to handling and managing conflicts.
You cannot possibly be in a marriage and there is no conflict.
Every now and then, you and your spouse will disagree on a matter or will have a misunderstanding.
It is how you both are able to manage it that will make a difference.
If your man resorts to yelling, stonewalling, hitting, or avoiding issues altogether and giving you silent treatment, it is a sign that he lacks healthy communication skills and conflict resolution skills.
You and your spouse must be able to agree on effective methods to resolve conflicts in marriage when they arise.
He can learn how to manage conflicts, but if he is not showing effort to learn and make adjustments, avoid getting married to him by all means.
5. Addictive Behaviors
Another habit you should look out for when deciding who to get married to is addiction.
Addiction is so bad that it can drain the addict and drain the people around them yet it won’t be satisfied.
People who are addicted to things will often go any length to satisfy their addictions.
They’ll steal, beg, and sell all their properties just to have money to keep the addiction alive.
So, if the man you’re interested in is addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or anything else, just know that he will wreak havoc in the marriage.
The both of you will suffer financial strain, emotional distress, and trust issues.
Instead of growing and progressing, you’ll only become worse by the day.
Then there’s the long-term consequences of deteriorating health.
6. Unfaithfulness
Don’t marry a man who cheats.
I’ll tell you why.
First of all, you are exposing yourself to the possibility of contracting sexually transmitted infections/diseases that usually come as a result of having multiple sexual partners.
So, you are putting your physical health at risk.
The second thing you are exposing yourself to is being disrespected or bullied by other women.
You cannot tame a woman who is having sexual relations with another woman’s man.
She can do anything.
Thirdly, you are setting yourself up for emotional trauma.
You’ll cry and there’ll be no one to comfort you.
The fourth thing is you are putting your children’s well-being on the line.
How will you explain to your children that you married a cheating man?
If that man has a history of cheating or shows signs of being unfaithful, please flee.
Trust is incredibly hard to rebuild once it’s broken, and a marriage without trust is unlikely to succeed.
Your man must be faithful to you as much as you are faithful to him.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment.
It is not something that you jump into today and jump out of tomorrow.
It requires mutual respect, trust, and effort to work.
It is true that no one is perfect, but certain habits stem from deeper issues in a person’s life, and these can jeopardize their marriage.
I’m sure you want your marriage to work, so it is important that you are able to look out for these red flags and recognize them when you see them.
You should be able to also decide for your self whether they are behaviors you can live with.
And whatever your choice is, always make sure that your happiness and well-being are priority.