After tying the knot, having a supportive extended family might seem like the best thing in the world.
While many in-laws are there to lend a hand, not everyone is lucky enough to have the same experience.
Your in-laws are individuals with their own unique beliefs and values.
Sometimes, these beliefs may not align with yours, and you might not feel comfortable trying to change them or adapting to them.
In such situations, knowing the line you should never cross with your in-laws can be a way for both sides to find a path toward building a stronger connection.
For this reason, we offer you a guide to 10 lines you should never cross with your in-laws that will help you maintain peace with your in-laws and in your marital life.
10 Lines A Married Man Should Never Cross With His In-laws
1. Watch your words
This is a call to you to be mindful of the words you use when talking to or about your in-laws.
Words have a lot of power, and they can either strengthen your relationship or damage it.
In a situation where you’re having a conversation with your in-laws, and you make a sarcastic or hurtful comment about something.
Even if you meant it as a joke, those words can linger and hurt their feelings.
It’s like tossing a pebble into a pond; the ripples from that pebble can spread far and wide, affecting the atmosphere in your family.
In any case, before you say something, especially if it’s meant to be funny or critical, pause for a moment and ask yourself, “Is this something that could potentially upset or offend them?”
If the answer is yes, it’s best to choose your words more carefully or find a gentler way to express your thoughts.
If you do this, you can maintain a positive and respectful relationship with your in-laws and avoid any unnecessary conflicts or tension.
Kindness in words can go a long way in building strong, loving family bonds.
2. Don’t underestimate their wisdom
You should recognize the wisdom and life experience that your in-laws bring to the table.
Your in-laws are a library filled with books of knowledge and experiences.
They have been through many of life’s ups and downs, and they’ve learned valuable lessons along the way.
It’s important to appreciate and respect their wisdom, even if you don’t always agree with their advice or opinions.
Just like you, they’ve made mistakes and learned from them.
Therefore, when your in-laws offer guidance or share their thoughts, listen with an open mind and consider their perspective.
See it as tapping into a well of knowledge.
You might discover valuable insights or solutions to problems that you hadn’t thought of before.
One thing you should know is that they care about your happiness and the well-being of their child, your spouse.
Embracing their wisdom can strengthen your family bonds and lead to a more harmonious relationship with your in-laws.
3. Don’t share your relationship problems
Your marriage is a private garden.
It’s a space where you and your spouse nurture your love and work together to solve any issues that may arise.
Now, if you start airing your relationship problems to your in-laws, you are inviting them into your garden when there’s a storm.
They might mean well, but they can’t fix your relationship.
Only you and your spouse can do that.
Sharing intimate or sensitive issues with your in-laws can lead to several problems.
It may create unnecessary tension or resentment, as they might take sides or become overly concerned.
They might offer well-intentioned but not always helpful advice based on their own perspectives and experiences.
Instead, when you face challenges in your marriage, the best approach is to discuss them openly and honestly with your spouse.
You can address issues together as a team and maintain a healthy, private space for your relationship to grow and thrive.
Your in-laws can still be a source of support and comfort without being intimately involved in your marital matters.
4. Don’t compare them to your parents
Your parents and your in-laws are two different sets of characters in the story of your life.
Your parents have played a significant role in shaping who you are, and you have a special bond with them.
Your in-laws are new characters in your life story, and they come with their own unique qualities and quirks.
Comparing your in-laws to your own parents can be like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
It’s not a fair or accurate comparison because these are two separate sets of people with their own backgrounds and ways of doing things.
When you say something like, “My mom does it differently,” it can unintentionally hurt your in-laws’ feelings and make them feel inadequate or unappreciated.
Try to embrace the differences and appreciate what makes your in-laws special.
They have their own strengths and qualities that you can come to admire if you give them a chance.
It’s like reading two different books; each has its own story to tell, and each can enrich your life in its own way.
Please avoid making comparisons and focus on building a positive and respectful relationship with your in-laws and celebrating the unique role they play in your life.
5. Don’t criticize their cooking
Your in-laws’ kitchen is a special place where they put their heart and effort into preparing meals for their family, including you.
Now, not everyone’s culinary skills are the same, and sometimes, you might find their dishes not to your taste.
But the important thing is that criticizing their cooking can lead to hurt feelings and unnecessary conflicts.
It’s like telling someone that their hard work isn’t good enough.
Rather, try to appreciate the effort they put into making meals and focus on what you enjoy about their cooking.
If there’s something specific you don’t like, you can offer constructive feedback gently and respectfully.
For example, you could say, “I appreciate your effort, but I think I’d enjoy it more if it had a bit less salt.”
You should provide feedback without being hurtful.
Food is often a way of showing love and care in many cultures.
So, by being considerate and kind when it comes to their cooking, you’re avoiding potential conflicts and also showing appreciation for their efforts to make you feel welcome and part of the family.
6. Keep financial matters private
Your finances are your personal bank account, and it’s your own treasure chest.
When it comes to your in-laws, it’s a good idea to keep that treasure chest locked up and not display all your financial details.
Sharing too much information about your money situation can sometimes create awkward situations or even misunderstandings.
Just like you don’t want to know all the details of their finances, they might not want to know all about yours.
It’s a bit like discussing your salary with a stranger, and it’s often considered impolite or uncomfortable.
To avoid any awkwardness or unnecessary discussions, it’s best to keep your financial matters private between you and your spouse.
If you ever need financial advice or assistance, it’s typically better to seek it from a financial advisor or a professional who specializes in money matters rather than involving your in-laws.
You can maintain a more comfortable and harmonious relationship with them by doing this.
7. Don’t side with your parents during conflicts
Sometimes, disagreements or conflicts can happen between these two teams —your parents and your in-laws.
It’s natural, and different people have different perspectives.
But when conflicts arise, it’s important not to automatically side with your family (your parents).
This calls for careful wisdom.
It’s like being a referee in the game.
Your role is to stay neutral and fair.
Taking sides can make the conflict worse and can hurt your relationship with your spouse and your in-laws.
You should rather try to understand both sides of the issue and work together with your spouse to find a solution that is fair and respectful to both families.
This will mean you’re not favoring one side over the other and that you’re showing that you value and prioritize your marriage and the harmony of your extended family.
It means you are being a peacemaker in the game, helping both teams find common ground so that everyone can enjoy the game together.
This approach can lead to healthier family relationships and a more balanced and peaceful family life.
8. Be mindful of their space
Your in-laws’ house is their private sanctuary, just like your home is for you and your spouse.
In the same way, you wouldn’t want someone to intrude on your personal space, it’s important to respect your in-laws’ space too.
Their home is a castle with its own walls and boundaries.
When you visit, it’s like being a guest in their kingdom.
You should always remember to knock on their “castle doors” (their front door) before entering and avoid going into areas of the house that they haven’t explicitly invited you to.
Respecting their personal space means giving them the privacy and comfort they need within their own home.
It’s like being a good neighbor who respects the fences between your properties.
Doing this means you show consideration and respect for your in-laws, which can help maintain a positive and welcoming atmosphere during your visits and interactions.
9. Avoid giving unwanted parental advice
Your in-laws are the captains of their own parenting ship.
They are the ones navigating the seas of parenthood with their child.
Just like you and your spouse are figuring out how to raise your own children, they are doing the same with their kids.
Unless your in-laws specifically ask for your advice or help with parenting, it’s best to avoid giving them suggestions or guidance on how to raise their children.
You are a passenger on their parenting voyage rather than the captain.
Offering unsolicited advice can sometimes come across as if you’re questioning their parenting skills or decisions.
In the same manner, you appreciate the freedom to make choices for your own family, and they deserve that same respect.
If they seek your input or advice, by all means, share your thoughts and experiences.
But until then, let them steer their own parenting ship.
You can maintain a positive and respectful relationship with your in-laws and avoid unnecessary tension or conflicts over parenting matters if you can do this.
10. Important dates are important
These special dates are markers on the calendar, like your own birthday or your wedding anniversary.
These dates hold significance in your in-laws’ lives, just as your own milestones are meaningful to you.
Forgetting or neglecting to celebrate these important dates can be hurtful or disappointing for your in-laws.
It’s like missing a turn on a road trip – it can lead to frustration and disappointment along the journey.
To show your appreciation and love for your in-laws, make an effort to remember and acknowledge their birthdays and anniversaries.
It’s a way of giving them a heartfelt gift that says, “I care about you, and I’m grateful for your presence in my life.”
Whether it’s a simple card, a small gift, or a thoughtful message, these gestures can go a long way in strengthening your relationship with your in-laws and making them feel valued and cherished.
Do you know how you appreciate it when your loved ones remember your special days?
Your in-laws will appreciate your efforts to make their moments memorable, too.
Following these guidelines will help you have positive relationships with your in-laws, contributing to a more harmonious and loving family environment.
You shouldn’t forget that building strong bonds with your in-laws takes patience, kindness, and a willingness to understand and appreciate their role in your life.
Live and let love lead.